Mental Health Thread • Page 419

Went to meet some friends tonight and felt a panic attack coming on as soon as I got there. Had to go sit in my car for awhile until I calmed down and then took back roads home. Shit night.

 

Just wanna hug all you bros

 

I mean, I have to get up early out of necessity and I owe Planet Fitness a lot of money because their monthly fees and late fees would always end up falling on days where I can't afford to pay them the back balance because I would have other, more important bills to take care of and then it'd actually be more expensive to just outright cancel it.

All that being said... I probably will try to find some way to have a fitness routine of some sort. Even if that just means going on a walk, it'd still be something

 

That Planet Fitness contract sounds like something The Devil would make you sign

 

I took one. Feels weird, but I slept in, gonna do a few things around the house and spend the rest of the day watching movies.

 

think I had a psychotic break yesterday

 

Uh-oh. Inbox is open if you want to talk about it.

 

I called out Sunday for the same reason with everything going on and my gm tried to call me after I talked to the other manager and I was like man leave me alone

 

Literally the worst feeling, I am so thankful to work somewhere now where nobody pulls this shit. My last job tried to call me while I was on my honeymoon

hope you're hanging in there man

 

honestly I’m still processing it all. I’m not even sure what I’d have to say about it other than that I could see it coming. I appreciate you as always

 

he was probably just concerned since he knows I’ve been dealing with a relapse but I did not want to talk to him at all so I didn’t lol

 

yeah, that's tough because it's a very kind gesture (and also a unique situation) but also we should all have the self-awareness that at home, we rarely wanna hear from people at work lol, especially bosses

 

you got a new job recently?

 

Lol, I'm an idiot. I was at Disney with my niece and nephew when that job called me. Still, I was on vacation

 

I’m 31 years old and like 80-90 percent reliant on my parents for financial support due to being completely inept at managing my finances, it’s ridiculous and I hate it

 

I’m just a massive idiot who eventually ruins almost everything

 

I feel that

 

Damn, 2023 best year, am I right?

 

I wish I could just move in with one of my parents and take a break from work. I'm just waiting for the day that I completely snap. I need help, but no time for it. I'm spending $3k a month on rent and student loans alone. I can't saddle them with that.

 

The days where you need a break the most are the days where you can't take one. Yesterday did me good, but coming in today has absolutely jolted my anxiety. I need sleep.

 

I’m starting to do a whole lot better as my body clears out the remaining toxins out of my system

 

I hate the phrase “it gets better” because I’m in my 30s and it still hasn’t gotten better. I remember reading a quote about that many a year ago and I wished i saved it. It basically talked about “when?” I never saw myself financially struggling. I never saw myself a mess. Being in my 30s and part of me doesn’t feel like it. I basically have failed at life. But also I never really feel like I was given the chance or had the opportunity to succeed so I was destined to fail.
My anxiety kept me inside all weekend and I couldn’t be productive the way I wanted. Fail.
My apt is so messy and is disorganized it’s embarrassing. Doesn’t help I have no storage space to help with clutter. I really would like to live in a house some day but I don’t think that’s in the cards for me. I also wish I had a support system but as always I’m all alone

 

Feels very much like everything is going wrong sort of deal right now. Now I have a potential tooth issue to deal with. Had hoped it was just some minor irritation arising from the jaw pain side effect of the health meds, but hasn't gone away and seemed to potentially be a little worse this weekend. Sadly since it's not an emergency (yet), can't see dentist until next week. Just get to spend the next 8 days stressing about it is all. yay

 

I just really don’t want to be alone anymore.

 

Me every day. ):