Mental Health Thread • Page 416

I hurt myself bad. I went on a three week fentanyl binge that opened up too many old wounds and spun out of control quicker than I could realize what I was doing. I had 16 months clean. Now I’m back to day five of a detox from hell. How many more times am I going to inflict this trauma on myself?

 

I'm on thin ice at work for my performance and very close to getting fired. They have been doing quarterly layoffs since we got bought out by a private equity firm anyway, there has been a promotion freeze, and people are leaving in droves because there is a general feeling like the company is fucked. I am 35 and I have worked at this same company since my late teens so I have been reluctant to leave. I live by myself so ever since we moved to work from home during Covid I have felt isolated, stopped going out, stopped taking care of myself, distancing myself from friends and family. I am starting to think maybe I should just quit, live off my savings for a couple months, get my mind and life right, and then find something else.

 

similar situation.. 35, working at the same company since i was 18 with no post high school education. have a pretty good job with a decent salary. my company had a shit year and is most likely doing layoffs in the upcoming weeks. super stressed that i'm gonna be on the chopping block. don't think i could get a comparable salary right now on the open market with my lack of educational background.

 

My university is also doing budget cuts (and I was planning on asking for a raise, lol). I feel you both and am wishing y'all the best

 

Too much of my identity is tied into my job and when I receive criticism I spiral which is not good because by nature of it many people I work with dislike me or what I represent. It's not that it hurts my feelings necessarily. I guess it's more that I try and work so hard and really do my best to go above and beyond and when that's still not good enough to some I have a tendency to dwell. Even if logically I know they're just projecting or processing trauma or whatever it may be. I need to learn how to leave that at work and not bring it home but I don't know how. I have been productive today but it's been lingering in the back of my mind all day as well.

Got a lil starbucks treat and am on my way to do a lil local store shopping/browsing so hope that helps. Even tho then I just kinda dwell on my rampant consumerism.

 

wow, this is awful. not sure how the service ended up going for you but I hope you never feel obligated to be around that uncle again, he sounds like a fucking creep who should be excommunicated from the family

 

consider letting them fire you so you can at least get some type of severance or unemployment while you search for new opportunities

 

I hate my brain. I hate my stupid fucking brain. I got a clean bill of health recently (aside from an acute issue I’m dealing with that caused me to see the doctors and get everything kicked off anyway) and yet anything outside the ordinary (for me) causes me to still spiral. My brain is like “it’s this thing you were just told it’s definitely not” even tho that’s not how it works. And then it weighs on me all day and makes me dread some normal activities because I’m unsure if this little issue will reoccur or if it was the fluke it likely is. Sigh.

 

The thing there are doing layoffs( which would mean severance) but I am all close to getting terminated for low performance stats (which would mean no severance and would look bad when applying elsewhere).

Also they look at your banking info when you apply for unemployment. I have too much in my savings to qualify for unemployment immediately. I would only be able to get it if I ran through all my savings.

 

mmm, sounds stupid.

 

Wait what? Where do you live where this is the case? I’ve never heard of that before

 

Also never heard of that, if you pay into unemployment you should be eligible if you get let go, it's your money.

 

I guess you're right. I live in Florida so I just assumed they did fuck shit like that lol

 

I know this can be a rough day from a mental health perspective for a lot of people - hope y’all are doing well and everyone’s getting through it!

 

I long to move out of state so I’m not forced to be around toxic family members. I still get treated like a fucking child even thought I’m in my 30s. It’s so traumatizing/triggering i can’t even explain it. I feel trapped and suffocated and I don’t know if that makes any sense. Like i feel like I’ll never be able to move out of the area I live in now (which I have living in)

 

my mental health is the worst it’s been in a very long time. I don’t know what I’m going to do.

 

My mom is undiagnosed but she very clearly has some form of OCD and I am starting to feel like growing up around that and dealing with the manipulative guilt she would make me feel to appease her obsessive fears, and the emotional abuse that came with that might have given me PTSD.

Like to this day if I am texting with her and I just see a slight sign of her veering into being overbearing or obsessive it immediately triggers me and it starts giving me flashbacks of living with her and it kind of just fucks me up sometimes for hours, and I have to make an effort to calm myself down.

Remember OCD isn't just "I need to count things for no reason" like you see on TV it is also in its most severe form "I cannot stop thinking that my son is going to die every day". That is what I grew up around.

 

I empathise. I had to move back home for a few years in my mid to late 20's, and it was honestly more control and suffocation, and troubling toxic behavior than it was ever growing up.

Even though I live close I find myself trying to keep distance from my parents just because of how triggering it is.

 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1458794016/?tag=absolutepunk-20

 

Man I'm such a weird person with social interactions. Around certain people and crowds, I am full of confidence, will speak my mind, and make jokes. Like planning out the next quarter at work. But when I hang out with certain people (not always), I like.. can't think of things to talk about, I feel super anxious and awkward, and I just avoid eye contact and avoid them in the future because I'm embarrassed. And I feel like people think I'm just kinda a dick who blows them off but it's just that I'm socially awkward... in certain situations for no rhyme or reason

 

Feel this 100%. I have the ability to be very outgoing and loud and fun at times. Tbh it's less about who I'm around and more about how I'm feeling. Lately, I have been feeling SO reserved. Like, don't want to talk to anyone, just want to listen to music and stay at home/in my office and get my work done and watch movies or whatever. I feel bad for everyone trying to interact with me lately.

 

Ugh saaaame. Sometimes I feel more confident and other times I feel super intimidated. I think I've identified that whether I'm confident or not is whether I feel like I have the upper hand which feels manipulative of me. But what my brain decides is an "upper hand" is fairly arbitrary or me projecting which is frustrating. But I can be super confident and breezy and witty or I can be meek and aloof which is translated to being snooty, with like no in between

 

It's the worst because I feel like someone will see me be confident around certain people, and then I have one on one time with that person and I just can't think of a damn thing to say :(. So then I just look like a dick for no reason because they don't get it

 

I was diagnosed with neophobia, which is a fear of changes. It's because my parents separated seven years ago, but I still find myself haunted by the memories of when they were happy and in love. Whenever I face new or unfamiliar situations, I feel uneasy or anxious.