Picked up my first refill of Prozac. Re-evaluating in a few months. I don't know if I have a solid answer on if I like it or not at this point, but time will tell. I feel a bit more stable mood-wise, so that's good... Hey, at least you don't feel like you're drowning.
I've absolutely lost my mind. I stopped taking my Seroquel and Celexa, two key medications for bipolar disorder and severe depression. They've caused me to gain a lot of weight, they also help me sleep because I have severe insomnia and have gone days without sleeping. But that means they stop your metabolism, coupled with eating my feelings so to speak, have caused a 50 pound weight gain in about a year. I switched off of them about two weeks ago and I've steadily gone down hill since. I'm currently having suicidal thoughts and panic attacks and it's hard for me to type all of this. I need those two medications. I've burned several bridges the past two weeks, irritating my coworkers and aggressively condemning and rejecting the friends I've made, both in real life for 10+ years and the friends I've made online. I need to rebuild those. So TL:DR I'm addicted to my bipolar and depression medication and I need them to survive. I'm going to switch back to them tonight. I just got off the phone with my doctor and he agrees. It's not normal to go from those extremes so quickly, he said, and this is all a reflexive reaction to this medicine change. It's a slow process but I was much better a couple weeks ago when I had that medicine. as evidenced by my last post in the relationships thread, my first response is to burn it down and start over and that's unhealthy.
333 *hugs* If you're going to stop taking them or transition, deeefinitely make sure you taper down. Hopefully you can find a better solution with your doctor over the next couple of months.
i appreciate this. not just from you, but from everyone that responded in the relationship thread and who text me and messaged me and just reached out. I appreciate every single one of you for all of this
@CoffeeEyes17 This is going to make me sound like a raving lunatic but it helps me. Whenever I'm having suicidal thoughts, I put my hand on my heart and feel it beating while I think about my family and how unfair it would be if I were to go through with it. The thoughts eventually subside but I think being bipolar we're always going to have the nagging thoughts regardless of medication, etc. Just know we're always here for you. You matter, you're important, and the world needs you in it. ❤️
tbh I love hearing about ppl's coping mechanisms like that! I knew someone who wanted to hold out until their fave tv show ended and each weekly episode helped them make it through until eventually they didn't need the TV show to make it each week anymore. Whatever works! When I was at my most depressed I reached a point where I got oddly motivated. The mindset was "well I'll prob die young so I might as well learn cool things and take control of my life a bit before then so I can at least die knowing I can speak Spanish or play the guitar or something" and it distracted me until I got to a better place. Still can't speak Spanish or play the guitar tho lol
I was at a wedding reception on Friday night. It was a girl I went to school with, and we were always kinda friendly at school, but never super close, so I was a bit surprised to be invited. Speaking to her on the day, she said she wanted to thank me and tell me why she'd invited me. Every year I have a big New Years Eve party, I literally invite anyone that wants to come. Had close to about 100 people round last year. Two years ago I'd heard this girl had no plans, so sent her a text saying "Having a party tonight, if you've got no plans you're more than welcome to come. Would be great to have you." She told me at her wedding, that, that night, after going through a massive depression episode, and especially because she had nothing to do on such a big night she had actually planned to kill herself. I've always been pretty open about my mental illness, as had she, but it really goes to show, that something you consider to be a simple non-important act, can have a massive impact on someone. You can never know exactly what's going on with someone.
Celebrated my birthday casually. Loved it. I'm on the productive side of my swing lately, especially with work. Making the most out of it at least until it sticks (or fingers crossed it sticks this time).
@alert=danger i'm throwing the word love around lately, but that's the only way I could describe that story. such a nice simple gesture from you, I want to think I'm the same way. I always try to believe I'm a good person and do simple warm gestures for people so at the very least if I won't be able to handle or figure out my life, it won't feel that much of a waste.
Back at school for another year of living with a group of people I don't know. It's been five days and I've barely left my room to hang out in the kitchen or living room, I'm sure they all think I'm the weird one who's gonna lock himself in his room all the time.
Glad I found this thread, I had severe depression that come and go, at worst it became suicidal thought, but here in Indonesia you don't really have somebody to talk to, yeah I just wanna say hello to you guys.
This is pretty cool. I think I may sign up. http://vitals.lifehacker.com/reachout-is-a-social-support-network-for-people-with-me-1786338861
i'm supposed to be taking my brother to the hospital today for an evaluation to receive ECT. it's hard trying to help a family member with suicidal depression when it feels like he doesn't want treatment but wants to kill himself instead and I feel like an asshole for being frustrated with the feeling that he's sabotaging himself.
Do you find your meds work for you? I've been on so, so many different variations of medication and I'm yet to find anything that works. Quit taking anything a few months ago, had a bit of a manic episode, got over that, and I haven't felt better for years now that I'm not on anything. Obviously I don't know what you're on medication for, but I'm always interested in hearing people's thoughts on meds. It is hard, and you're definitely allowed to be frustrated with what he's doing and the way he's acting, but the important thing is that you're there for him and are actually trying to help despite those frustrations.
I honestly don't really know. Ive been on the same antidepressants (while gradually upping the dose) for about two years now but I can't tell if they make much of a difference overall. Any time I go off them briefly I feel like shit but I don't know if that's just because I stop abruptly
i literally don't give a single fuck about anything or anyone except for getting into law school and i actually feel pretty good about it for once.
We took him last night and he called me a half hour ago from the hospital, frustrated and unhappy that he can't sleep despite getting some medication for it and that the doctor hasn't evaluated him yet. It's still early right now, they just haven't gotten to him yet.
Every time I hear my brother's voice tonight over the phone from the hospital, my heart breaks more and more. He's clearly more unhappy and depressed than before because he doesn't have anything to distract him so he's there with his thoughts and I wish our parents and I could just go and take him home but we can't. He's also unhappy at the thought of staying the weekend there because the social workers think that he's still not stable enough to be released tomorrow. He kept saying how much he hates himself and I just wish there's something, anything I can do to make him happy and not so suicidal.