I can seemingly do nothing while sick. I’ll try to keep up with some household items so my apartment isn’t a disaster once I’m better, but hell, just standing at the sink trying to wash a few dishes requires all of my attention and focus and I’m worn out before I even finish the small task. I always try to remember how that feels because it’s crazy how down and out you can be and then when healthy you’re multitasking 65 different things like it’s nothing, so I try to appreciate all the things I’m capable of when healthy even if they are just basic things like dishes, throwing in laundry, vacuuming, making a sandwich, etc.
Sometimes I feel like my fiancé is the only person who truly cares about me. At least she’s the only one who genuinely makes an effort. I constantly feel like I’m getting reminders of how unlovable I am and she’s, for some reason, the exception to the rule.
Being trapped in my mind. I don’t know how to explain it. I have bad anxiety that my dr won’t do anything for so I suffer. I also believe I have adhd but I need a psych to diagnose that but can’t get one. I also feel like I might be bipolar. I can’t get my mind to relax half the time or more. I can’t be productive because it takes every ounce of energy to do so. I just want to feel normal
Have you tried a psych nurse practitioner? They tend to be easier to get in with vs a psychiatrist based on my own experience
I’ve thought about switching my pcp because I feel like he doesn’t do much for me. not sure how I can see one where I’m at. Plus where I go is awful anyway and didn’t do anything for me last time, so I rather pay out of pocket somewhere else. I just don’t have the money atm.
Don't usually post like this but several seemingly minor incidents today have absolutely broken me. I am the most incompetent piece of dog shit on the planet. Just dumb as hell, ugly to boot, bad husband, bad son, bad brother, bad friend, and as much as they don't know it or would likely claim otherwise, I know their lives would be easier if I wasn't around. I only bring additional stress and strain into people's lives. Being alive is hard.
@Aaron Mook .. obviously we’ve never met in person, but you’re an absolute gem. I’ve been too busy to post lately, but i legitimately log on to see what you’re saying about film. I WISH I could articulate my thoughts the way you do. You’re incredibly kind and welcoming to all those who engage on this site and you’re a fantastic mod. You have the ability to navigate and deescalate extremely difficult conversations in a way that I haven’t seen. It sounds like you’re in a tough spot, but man you’re cool as fuck and you’ve got worth.
Dude, I don’t know you well but you’ve given me words of encouragement when I’ve been down. You’re a good dude.
You are all such wonderful people, the friends I've made and discussions I have on this website give me a reason to keep going. I apologize for my moment of weakness and appreciate all of your kind words, they truly meant the world at a time when I needed them most. Taking the next couple of days off work to get my brain right. Things could always be worse, I'll be okay love you all.
I fucking hate this body I've been given. All my mental and physical issues are just cascading and ruining me. I don't want to be an asshole, I want to be happy again. I don't want to be in pain, or scared or anxious. I'm so, so, so miserable and every time I make another step forward I feel like I'm just punched in the stomach. I feel like so many people don't understand how difficult it really is to live with this kind of mind. A mind that ultimately is working against your wants and needs, every single day. It's horrible. I feel completely hopeless.
As someone that suffers from chronic illness and anxiety/mental health issues, I feel every word of this.
I just legitimately don't know what to do. I feel like a failure. And I don't want to be lazy, I just feel broken and exhausted fighting everything all the time.
Went through this in this very same thread last weekend. There are so many great people in here that support and identify with you. You got this, friend.
Not sure where else to put this. I’d be more than happy to delete or spoiler tag if it’s not appropriate. I’m not in a bad space or anything, but I’m a married male who’s identified as straight for the entirety of my life. Over the past year I’m seriously questioning my sexuality. I love my wife and I’m certainly attracted to females, but I’m finding myself attracted to other men. I’ve told my wife about it and she’s very open to discuss it with my therapist. I just don’t know how to feel. I go from being totally okay, to concerned, then to scared.. (that’s just my anxiety..) I don’t know.. Im in my 30s and don’t fully understand why I haven’t experienced this until now?
I hate my impatience at finding a new job. I’m just so burned out with my current one and I’m stuck spinning my wheels there until I find a new one. Hate I don’t know how long this could take or even if another place would want me.
I understand and empathize, friend. I think a big part of things like this is remembering that sexuality is a spectrum and your attraction doesn't change who you are as a person or who you've been. Besides, it sounds like you have an awesome partner that is willing to work it out with you. I'm sure it's scary, but you sound like your're in good hands, and anytime we can step closer to being our true selves is a win to me :)
My wife's OCD is seemingly only getting worse the more she actively goes to therapy for it. Prefacing all this with, of course it's harder to live with it, and yes, I love her to pieces, and yes, it's what I signed up for when I married her. I just need to give myself permission to say, it's also very hard to be in the support position constantly, especially when the illness is so complex that there's often not a lot I can say or do except be with her while she cries about increasingly small or minor inconveniences. It makes me feel as though I can never be vulnerable because I am always walking on eggshells around her. I wish there was a more active role I could take in her therapy. Fuck OCD.