Mental Health Thread • Page 408

Well I'm not succeeding, but I'm trying, and that's progress I guess. Thank you for the kind words

 

Stressed and anxious over my massive credit card debt. My ass is just so bad with money. My father helped me out last year and I'm so anxious and embarrassed for the day he wants me to start paying him back because all I can tell him is that I've not improved my situation much at all. I'm just such a failure. Looking for a better paying job right now (not going well) and trying to get some freelance work off the ground to bring in a little extra money to pay down my debts. interest rates are what fucks me. I suck.

 

I’m taking a few months off drinking at which point I will reevaluate whether or not I’m going to drink again. Feel free to message me if you’re struggling, I know it can be difficult!

 

Thanks so much friend. Love your avatar!

 

I have a very big decision to make. Yesterday, I was accepted into grad school for Clinical Mental health Counseling, paid for by my employer. It is something I feel called to - I wouldn't go back to grad school for just any degree, and I certainly wouldn't go back if I had to pay for it. There are two catches. The first is that my wife would like to start a family within two years, and this will push us out at least a year further (she's a diabetic, so she's anxious about being able to do this before she's too old). She's being extremely supportive, but I know it's causing a lot of pressure on both of us. The second catch is, after two years of a full work day and course load (three classes), I will have to leave my current job to complete the program as the last semester is a paid internship. On the plus side, it seems like there are a ton of counseling jobs available in my area, as the program director said graduates never have a hard time finding work, but on the other hand, I like where I work, I like the people I work with, and the job is stable with great benefits. Benefits that extend past myself and to my wife and future family.

Long post, but I have less than two weeks to make a decision that will have unknown ramifications far into the future, and I am not handling the stress well.

 

These kinds of decisions are so hard. Big life things like this stress me out because I always think of the alternate universe and what my life would be if I chose the other path. It makes it so overwhelming I just tend not to make big life decisions as a result. It is so normal to stress over something like this. It sounds like at the end of the day no matter what you choose you have support and positivity in your life and you got this. Whatever choice you make will be the right one for you. Good luck! I've been waffling on going back to school 5ever but I think I'm just gonna go for it next year honestly but I don't practice what I preach so we'll see lol

 

At the very least it sounds like your current job likes you so I’m sure you could always go back if you wanted.

 

It's nice to know I'm not the only one that struggles with big decisions, even when they're positive. Thank you for the kind words, and good luck to you as well!

They do! Would love if that was an option. It's the kind of thing I can't know now, unfortunately.

 

Really just genuinely down mentally, emotionally and physically.

 

Struggling to figure out a path forward with my money issues as like every time I sit down and calculate things, I get a different number and it then stresses me out and I spiral.

Also, just feeling so invisible in my life. Like it feels like people don't want to interact with me for some reason, but I don't know anything that I've done.

 

had a really weird last few days. whole week has been super weird. long story short my relationship is actually over like for real this time but its a very good thing and i got some much needed closure. obviously its sad after being together for most of a 7 year period but like deep down in my gut i know it was the right thing for us to do and i love that woman so much and respect our relationship so much that i would never let us get to the point where we hate each other again like we did at the worst points so instead of standing by and letting it happen over and over again it was time for us to break the cycle. hard not to feel anxious about my future now since i always imagined it with this specific person but im also in such a good spot in my life right now and have pretty much no interest in actually dating at all that its not really a problem, i just have to refer to myself as single now when people ask and we'll just go from there thats a big enough adjustment lol

 

It sounds like you have a really healthy and positive attitude about it. And around ur birthday! I always forget when yours is but I know it's around mine. Happy birthday! That's a lot but it sounds like you're really powering through the challenges and you've come a long way.

 

The other day my phone had like a memory thing and it was a picture of me and my ex-best friend. And it made me realize that was one of the last few times I saw her before I had to cut her out of my life. So that then made me realize it has been almost 4 years since I have hung out with anyone who isn't a family member and I have not been handling that realization well at all. I went to Target yesterday and saw a group of women shopping together and I literally had to turn around and leave the store and sat in my car and cried. I don't even know how to express how lonely these 4 years have been. I just really feel like my life is completely pointless and the only reason I'm even trying is my nephews. It's just back to wishing I will magically die in my sleep so I don't have to deal with this anymore.

 

Haha it’s tomorrow!! Thank you!!

 

After teaching kindergarten at my school for five years, I’m accepting a third grade position at a new school because the pay is a lot better. I’m extremely anxious about this. I know it’s for the best, but just thinking about it has been making my eye twitch. Adjusting to a new grade, going somewhere where I know nobody, I don’t know if my coworkers will be supportive or if I’ll be thrown into the frying pan. It will be so hard telling my coworkers I’m close to. The uncertainty of the future is killing me.

 

you're going to crush it.

 

As much as I want it, and I really do, I think a I've come to the conclusion that I shouldn't pursue grad school due to the strain it's going to put on my wife and our marriage. I hope I'm making the right decision.

 

Making decisions is so scary. It’s impossible to know what the right decision is in the moment without the benefit of hindsight. Whenever I make big decisions (which is a big struggle for me), I try to tell myself to just do the best I can to make the most of it and that most of the time it’s possible to change your mind in the future. It’s hard not to look at decisions as black and white.

 

I feel like I'm making the biggest mistake of my life.

 

Been on a medical leave from work for nearly two months now. My depression and grief facing my mother's passing have become too much. I can't even think about work without having a panic attack. Been taking lexapro for a while now, hoping the bigger dose will sort me out. But I think I need another two weeks and I've already extended this leave twice now, I feel guilty asking even though my therapist told me she doesn't mind filling out the paperwork. Everything is so hard, if this medication doesn't help me I feel I have run out of options.

 

We recently switched our kids from homeschooling to online school. It has been such a challenge, both for them and for us. Our kids are resilient and will work through their issues, but the amount of patience it is taking for my wife and I feels like it’s too much. She’s frustrated because she’s having to remind them to focus and pay attention all day, and then take on an extra hour or 2 of homework with them. I’m struggling to get my work done and stay focused on my work projects cause I’m too busy thinking of how much of the evening will be spent catching them up. I know they will eventually get in a groove and figure it out. I just feel like we are both being pulled to our limits.

 

I tried on a dress I've never worn because I was saving it for something special but when I went to wear it, it didn't fit anymore. I avoided a spiral and am trying to convince myself it's cause my arms have gotten more muscular because that's the only part that didn't fit, the shoulders/arms area. Hard not to feel defeated tho

 

It’s frustrating when you go to vent to friends about your struggles and it’s clear they just don’t get it. It feels like a wasted effort and you just don’t bother anymore. You tell them you’re fine because they wouldn’t understand anyway. It’s just one less place to turn to in struggles

 

I’ve been horribly sick the last few days and the shit it’s doing to my mental health is downright scary man. Like I’ve been doing very well lately, I rarely ever get cravings anymore and when I do they pass, and generally I’ve been very happy with where my life is at right now and where it’s headed. Now it feels like some kind of switch was flipped in my brain yesterday because I have been craving opiates hardcore in a way I haven’t in a LONG time, I generally feel like my world is dark and depressing, I feel lonely and unhappy and unfulfilled and I keep having insane fever dreams that shake me to my very core for one reason or another. Idk man I hope it’ll all just pass once I’m not sick anymore but I’m starting to get scared I’m gonna snap and start doing some classic “drug seeking behavior” (aka driving to the bad part of town and looking for people who might sell drugs) before this blows over


It doesn’t help that being sick has made me unable to partake in any of my usual coping mechanisms. Video games take too much focus, music is too loud and distracting, tv and movies and books are hard to follow and concentrate on, I’m too weak to go outside, basically all I can do is waste away in bed and endlessly scroll. It’s no wonder my mind is wandering to bad places since it’s the same exact situation detox always put me in

 

@Shakriel @sophos34 I admire you both and see you! Both of your struggles sound hard and know you’re not going through them alone. We’re all here for you