Mental Health Thread • Page 404

I missed the part about the therapist only being short term. I’ve been bamboozled by that too and it’s so defeating. Also want to apologize if any of what I said made you feel patronized or belittled, I just read it back and it wasn’t as warm as I had wanted it to be. Getting help, especially in the US, is such so counterproductive sometimes. I’ve been where you are and there’s not really a word for how awful it is.

 

A couple weeks ago I got woken up at like 3 a.m. because I heard gunshots. I hear them sometimes in the distance but this sounded so close like it was in my yard. My bedroom faces the road so I just jumped out of bed and crawled and hid. I was shaking so bad and was so fucking terrified. I keep checking but nothing about it has been on the local news or anything but my neighbor told me it was 2 houses down in their front yard. An elderly couple lives there and they were terrified. They said they weren't trying to get into the house or anything so they think it was just an argument or something. They said they called the cops but my ex best friend lives not too far away and she called the cops bc someone was literally trying to break into her home and no one ever came so doubt they did anything tbh. I know living in this country this shit can happen anywhere but I was so cautious when I bought my house. I knew I wanted in this city bc it was where I could afford, but I limited my search to like 4 roads bc they are the safest. I lived 2 roads down for 10 years and I always felt very safe here and I know it was probably just a freak thing and won't happen again, but it's really messed with me. I hate that this is just the reality here and you could just go to the grocery store or a movie and get shot. And my entire family basically are extreme gun nuts so of course they all think I should buy one already which is why I haven't told any of them about it. Just trying to reassure myself that this is just a 1 time thing, it's not gonna happen again but it's been hard.

 

It’s all good. I didn’t feel patronized or belittled. It’s good to hear other people’s experiences with therapy/meds and their journey, and I also asked for people’s experiences in previous posts because I didn’t know what to expect or how things usually go. What was hard for me was even tho my clinic had bad reviews, people talked about them being “med pushers” (along with certain therapy), so I thought I was going to get guided towards that. Not that I want to be on meds, but I know I have certain problems that therapy alone wont do anything for. I am opened to doing a combo. Therapists from my understanding cannot diagnose, and I want to get the proper diagnoses

edit: I also want to get my cat certified as an esa that isn’t from a sus website

 

I take lamictal, vraylar, Seroquel, and gabapentin. The gabapentin definitely works wonders for my anxiety. I take a small dose in the morning and a very large dose before bed

 

OK so, little life update. I guess I should start out by saying I’m ok. I'm not but I am...if that makes sense.

One of the major reasons I haven’t posted in a while is because I would normally post during work using a PC. I’m old school when it comes to posting on here since AP.net wasn’t available on a cell phone back in the day and even back then I posted from work 99% of the time.

While navigating my way through the trauma and depression, I had to come to terms with the fact that its going to be a long time until things go back to “Normal”.

I left my job the week after everything went down the day after Mother’s Day. They wanted to keep me part-time, but I just couldn’t go back there. I had been wanting to leave there since January. I was fucking miserable.

You all probably remember my post about my boyfriend and is almost fatal OD. He’s doing good and getting the help he’s desperately needed. We went about a month not seeing each other. I just saw him for the first time in a month last weekend. We had a movie night, and his mom made some bomb ass chicken parm.

For now, he’s not allowed in my home. I live with my brother, and he was here that horrible day and probably won’t forgive boyfriend for a while. The lease switches to my name only come October so it will be my call if boyfriend can come here or not. At this point in time, I don’t think I’ll fully trust having him in my home until he’s at least a year sober. But honestly, everything at this point is Day by Day.

Meanwhile I kind of started getting my grove back about 2 weeks ago and then I got slapped with a fucking diverticulitis flare up the same day I had nailed a job interview and got my now new job. Unfortunately, I had to push my start date back a week because I was hospitalized for the flare up and needed time to heal and rest. Plus, I was on a liquid only diet for 4 days.

Things for me personally have really done a 180 this week now that I started my new job on Wednesday. I love it already and I can’t wait to really dive into my role and kick ass.

So yeah, that’s pretty much it.

I’ve missed it here and all of you.

 

You are strong af! So happy for you

 

I still and probably will have my not so strong days for the rest of my life but as always, it all could of been a lot fucking worse.

I mean it was pretty bad but like....you get it.

 

So happy to hear from you @JulieLynn , You sound like you're doing great and being really strong with your boundaries and we love to hear that things are on an upswing

 

And I just want you all to know that I see your posts and I'm always sending good vibes your way in spirit.

I just get quiet when shit is hitting the fan.

 

Idk where else to post about this but my parents have to put their dog down tomorrow and I’m not taking it so well. He’s 9 years old and I still lived with my parents for the first few years of his life and intermittently here and there when I had to move back home throughout the years due to my addiction problems. He had to have a kidney removed last year but had been doing great until last week he started drinking a lot of water and peeing all over the house, they took him to the vet Monday and his tests weren’t looking good I guess and after an X-ray or whatever today they must have found something bad, idk all the details yet but I’m gonna go over there tonight and spend a while with him for the last time. You guys have no idea this is the friendliest most cuddly dog of all time he’s a labradoodle and I know there’s never ever going to be another dog like him. I’ve been through this four times now in my life with family dogs having to be put down and each one is harder than the last to swallow, I’ve been a huge huge huge lover of animals my entire life and that’s only grown stronger through adulthood where I could never ever imagine a life without animals in it. This dog brought me so much joy and comfort throughout the absolute worst moments in my life and it will truly never be the same with him gone. Going to spend a good long while at my parents house tonight hanging out with him one last time.

this is me and Percy about a month ago

 

Catching up on this thread but want to second this. I started taking Zoloft about a year ago and I can’t believe how well it’s worked. Of course it didn’t do it alone I had to put in the work too and go to regularly therapy and really answer some extremely hard questions about who I am and who I want to be but the zoloft help me face my reality in a way I’ve never been able to before and move on from my past that was eternally haunting me.

 

Sorry Jake

 

Sending you and your family all the hugs, Jake.

 

So sorry to hear this Jake. And as someone who has a black labradoodle who turns 8 in a few weeks, this hits so close to home.

many, many years ago I made a comment to some friends like, “honestly, the only reason I wake up and keep going through the motions is because I’d be so sad to leave Tucker alone or have Tucker think I was gone and mad at him or something. Literally a dog is what keeps me kind of alive most days”. Tucker was a goldendoodle and the first dog I ever had and a few years later we got Stanley, the gentleman below.

Remember all the good times you have had with Percy! There will be good days, bad days, and downright awful days and moments for the rest of your life with missing him but that’s how it goes and I always like to personally think any animal that passes is in the absolute best state of mind and having the greatest time ever. Helps a little.

 

Thank you so much we had to say goodbye to our 15 year old malti poo a few years ago so I like to imagine they’ll be reunited and he’ll get to meet our golden retriever we had before him and they’ll be happy together lol


The hardest part is having to face the fact my cat is going to pass on one day and while that’s way down the road it still upsets me

 

Losing an animal is one of the worst things in life, I'm so sorry Jake

 

I'm so sorry as well; I know I'm gonna be crushed when I lose my cat. I've never really lost a pet that way, my parents were shitty pet owners and always had some excuse to give our animals away after a while. I'm never gonna do that.

 

Been nearly a year since we had to put our cat down and I don’t think I’ve gotten through that yet emotionally.

 

People on this site need to pull out their birth certificates and remind themselves HOW OLD THEY FUCKING ARE.

this isn't AP.net 2005. Also, saying shit like "now he won't get to seem me call him a fucking loser" is probably the most disgusting shit i've ever seen.

I'm so mad right now after reading that. You don't say that to someone who is probably going through a really really reaaallllyyyy difficult time in their life right now.

fuck this place sometimes.

 

He make a joke about stepping on George Floyd’s throat?

 

I honestly don't have time to read every page of a fucking thread when I'm busy with my actual life and job and mental health.

maybe be a grown up and message him and simply say "hey man, that was kinda not cool" and TALK ABOUT IT. Saying what you said knowing he has you blocked was kind of a dick move. why so you'd get a like or a laugh?

 

He…made a joke about stepping on George Floyd’s throat?

 

Please don't' speak to me like I'm a moron, thanks.

I get it, ok? I just went back and saw it.

1. you're right, its not ok to joke about that, ever.
2. people say shit without thinking or whatever when they are not really doing so hot mentally
3. next time i'll either just keep my mouth shut when i see something like that again or i'll go back and read whatever was said. (big mistake not doing so)

So, I'm sorry for ranting about that situation here or at all actually.

 

It was actually about the fall out boy lyrics. I don’t expect someone like you to understand, well, anything.

 

The lyrics about what?