Mental Health Thread • Page 401

Thank you both so very much and Cody one day when I’m ready to visit Philly I’ll get in touch, it sucks how many people I either never got to see or very rarely saw because of all the shit I was going through all those years

 

I love my nephews more than just about anything in this world and I have been very scared for years now that my brother/SIL were going to brainwash them into having their hateful views and I'm watching it play out in real time basically. I saw on Instagram my oldest nephew had liked a bunch of pretty homophobic videos and I have tried in the past to say things but my brother got very mad and threatened to not let me see the kids anymore so I basically have to keep my mouth shut. I'm their favorite aunt and am queer but I feel like I can't even come out to anyone bc my family is so fucking hateful. And it just makes me so upset. They are talking about homeschooling my youngest nephew when he is old enough to go to school bc they don't want him being exposed to the "liberal woke agenda." And I spent the day with my family yesterday and my grandma brought up how my cousin had hung out with her abusive ex. And of course she has to bring up the fact that he's bi and of course she has to equate him being bi to being the reason he's abusive. And I'm just sitting there like oh, so that's what you would think about me if you knew I'm not straight? Great. My mom is the only person in my entire life who knows and she tries to be supportive but she doesn't really get it. Like she understands people being gay but people being attracted to more than 1 gender is hard for her to comprehend for some reason. It is just so exhausting to have to watch every word I say and to be constantly afraid I'm going to be judged or not be allowed to see my nephews again. I'm so used to just having to be the most agreeable person and to not ever have a differing opinion and it's like, who the hell even am I? I feel like I don't even know anymore bc I've had to conceal myself for so many years. I'm just so tired.

 

For the past few days I’ve been having the same recurring dream of my place getting broke into and everything a mess. Only the place in my dream isn’t my actual apt or anything i recognize. I also had another dream like experience but I couldn’t wake up almost felt like sleep paralysis. All this just makes my anxiety worse

 

Some new neighbors moved into the apartment underneath me and blast music at all times of day with the bass blasted so high that my floor and even couch shake from the vibration. I left a polite note on the door a month ago and it was fine for a week and then started up again. I went to the landlord two weeks ago and she said she’d call. I saw her last week and she “hadn’t gotten the chance” All the music is at a tempo that starts to make me feel anxious when being played for such a long period of time. Plus setting off my ADD. I don’t really know what to do anymore. I definitely don’t want to come off as a Karen or anything but it’s ridiculous. I can’t even take a phone call in my apartment anymore. There’s no reasonable explanation for why someone’s music needs to be that loud. My apartment complex used to be very quiet and family oriented which was part of why I moved in. Two of my neighbors and the landlord had a conversation a few weeks ago about how the building is out of control right now. I’m really struggling with feeling like I can’t get peace in my own home. I know in apartment complexes you’re gonna hear other people sometimes and that’s totally fine. But this is completely absurd and been going on for about 3 months now. I won’t be able to find another apartment at this rate since I’m rent controlled so moving isn’t an option

 

Leave them a bag of shit at their front door. Leave a note congratulating them on their child. The child could only have come from other pieces of shit.

 

At this point that’s tempting. I‘m a drummer. If I’m complaining something’s too loud, it’s too fucking loud. I did some stomping on the floors earlier but they probably couldn’t hear it

 

Found an old Zillow listing for my grandma's old house and it kinda wrecked me to think about. My family has become pretty fragmented over the years and this home was always a big central hub for everyone. They grew up poor, family of 7 kids, my grandma was forced out of it to live in a tiny apartment, and now it's all updated and worth over a million dollars. Crazy.

 

My wife's OCD and anxiety are at an all-time high. I thought it would get better after her hand surgery -- she was obsessing over getting sick and having to delay the surgery, which didn't happen -- but instead she just hyper-fixates on tasks that don't need done and refuses to take a break until she's overwhelmed and crying. It's happening, like...every day. Not good. And I'm trying to be supportive, but if I say something, I potentially make it worse, and if I don't, I'm not helping. She's medicated, she's going to therapy, she's going to a support group, so I don't know what happens next. But it's causing us both a lot of grief, especially with how stressed I am at work right now. I feel like I'm in a pressure cooker.

 

Not sure if this will reach anyone on time…
I have my yearly check up with my doc this week. I want to ask about anxiety and getting an adhd eval. Anyone have experience with this. Just thinking about it gives me anxiety bc I don’t think they’ll do anything. When I truthfully answered the anxiety questions last year, nothing happened. I’m also afraid the doc will say “just exercise”, like that’s the problem solver for everything. Because that was the response when I said I’m constantly tired and have been for years. It’s always “exercise”, but that makes me feel worse. I also don’t want to look like a drug seeker. I have days where I can’t leave my house bc I just feel anxious out of nowhere. The adhd eval bc I have trouble focusing at home, like I get really overwhelmed easy. Not sure if it has to do with my tiny as shit apt and I have no organization space, or if something is actually wrong. I have dishes that sit in the dish rack for a like week plus. I’ve been trying to do better at washing my dishes especially gnat seasons. And I have trouble staying on task to clean. Like I know it needs to be done but can’t get myself to do it

 

Went through this late last year, my recommendation is to get the "drug-seeking" worry out of your head, any behaviors that actually appear like that are ones you won't display if you're being honest. I don't know your doctor so I can't tell you what they'll say, but I would be honest about the extent of your anxiety and specifically mention any difficulty you have focusing at home or at work. Mention that you know there can sometimes be a connection between anxiety and ADHD and that you's like to be screened if possible. More than anything, just let them know that something has to change in order for your life to improve. Fwiw, I was screened and they determined any traces of ADHD were more so a part of my anxiety, so I've just stuck with my sertraline and Clonazepam and still struggle from time to time, but it is what it is. It certainly wouldn't hurt to get screened, though.

 

Some doctors can really suck, my friend asked his doctor if he could recommend a psychiatrist because he realized he’s had some serious mental health issues over the past few years and would like to get diagnosed by a professional. Instead of helping, he just said “that’s not real, it’s all in your head” or something to that extent. What a fucking asshole.

 

Blows my mind. People like this should not be doctors

I don't have a PCP right now but I was very lucky that my therapist recommended me a psychiatrist, even though she doesn't love the idea of medication. Because she's a professional, and she's wonderful.

 

My almost 6-year relationship just ended pretty much out of nowhere and I feel like I'm losing my mind. Literally can barely speak or do anything without breaking down into tears. Just in a really really bad place right now and feel absolutely hopeless.

 

Honestly I just acted like enough of a neurotic weirdo aka myself that they gave me a screen without me asking. And it turned out to just be me being a neurotic weirdo who also has depression/anxiety and those meds have helped.

Women in general have a harder time being diagnosed and get diagnosed later in life so I'd maybe brace/prepare yourself for that. It's so frustrating to have to advocate so hard for our Healthcare which we already pay too much for. I saw my doctor today and had to advocate to get a referral to follow up on my bad period symptoms which my doctors always seem dismissive of. Today she was going on about how it's largely genetic and my mom probably has bad periods (she doesn't, and the doctor didn't even ask about it) I was just like "no I don't think this is normal and I'd like a referral please." It may be hard but honestly if they don't, maybe ask if they can note it in your chart that you asked for an eval/referral and didn't receive one. I'm not practicing what I preach cause I'd prob be too timid to do that myself, but sometimes we really do have to advocate hard for ourselves.

 

Ok so I spoke with my doc about my anxiety etc and gave me a number to call psychiatry and said they’ll ask me questions and best pair me with someone

I’ve also addressed a few other issues I’ve been avoiding for years now

 

Life really just punches you in the face sometimes at the worst possible time.

I was deep in a manic episode Memorial Day weekend and finally snapped out of it yesterday.

I am now looking for a new job, sanity, hope.....How is this my life at almost fucking 40?

Its cool when your doctor is like "hate to point out the obvious but you're a special case cause you're so young and going through menopause...Of course you're going to lose your shit once in a while, especially after watching your boyfriend almost die"

I love that she's just fucking real with me and reminds me that none of this is my fault. But I don't think I'll ever get that day out of my head. just plays over and over at the worst fucking times.

I know that Normal is just a setting on my washing machine, but fuck I just want to feel normal again.

 

Even tho my doc gave me the number to the psychiatry dept and my medical clinic, there’s nothing but bad reviews, and people saying how worse their mental health got after trying to get help there. Now I’m more afraid to call and try to get my anxiety sorted out. And more afraid of asking for an adhd eval

 

Ask your doc for another referral. Explain what you found. There’s sure to be another option.

 

There really isn’t other option at my clinic due to my insurance, sadly

 

Company I work for offers a bunch of seemingly good mental health options (insurance coverage, 24/7 hotlines, surveys, discounts on certain therapies or treatments or whatnot) so that’s great for those who need to use it but I’ve watched too many movies and tv shows that have tainted my view and I’d be skeptical to use it thinking somehow someway the company would have access to that stuff. Probably not realistic, but I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable using resources that are directly sent to me from my employer or seem to be access to something that is only for our company because while there’s seemingly an endless amount of employees I’d still be skeptical and think they would have a way to get that info and either fire or restrict how far someone could go in the company based on that info

 

I took a second 36mg concerta because I had to go out tonight and still struggle with seeing my wife’s bf. The meds usually helps block intrusive thoughts and makes me more social.

I feel like I’m dying right now. The two energy drinks didnt help either. This sucks.

 

Wasn't sure whether to post this here or not but I decided it fits since it did have a major impact on my mental health, and actually for the better this time.

On a few rhythm game Discord servers I'm a part of, I posted the following:

I had been dropping hints here and there about it, but this was my first time making any sort of public statement/acknowledgement. And the responses I've gotten from people have been universally positive. It feels good to have my gender identity (or lack thereof) validated, and that's exactly the sort of feeling I needed after months of feeling like garbage about myself and everything.

 

So I was recommended this post by a therapist and they talked about how poverty actually crushes your mental health in ways that impact you constantly throughout your life by causing anxiety and sometimes depression. I found this interesting because I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist for half a year now and it hasn’t helped too much. The side effects from meds have also made things other things more difficult. In the video, the therapist talks about how ssris are just bandaids to help you cope with your suffering, essentially.

That video just made things very real, I realized that the ssris barely help and the reason for that is because I still will always have a massive awareness of why I am in this situation. The only thing that’s changed is that I don’t let the fact that I’m upset leave my mouth as much, I’m just keeping that sadness inside and that seems kind of redundant for something that’s supposed to help you.

To make matters worse, the psych I had was very stubborn and robotic. I’m switching to another one soon and hopefully they at least have an ounce of empathy. Taking meds just may not be for me but it would be good to at least know for sure. Just a by the way, I totally understand some people need their meds because it really helps them and I’m not trying to poo poo that at all.

 

Makes sense. Also the reason why I don’t think anti depressants will work for me if I were to get prescribed them. My depression is caused by things I literally can’t change. Every day the things causing my depression are in my face. Now my anxiety… I’m trying to get help with that. The fact that my med clinic is full of bad reviews and people having bad experiences hightens it. Im looking into private offices that take cash patients since my insurance only covers my clinic (I may have to look into out of network claims), but im not sure if I can afford that. I have a lot of debt atm

 

Hate how much bad dreams impact my mental state for the day. Had a dream my dad was sick and waiting for medical test results and he felt like nobody cared he was sick and I cared very much but didn't want to appear vulnerable so was acting sorta casual about it even though I was super worried. Then I woke up wanting to call him but it was early and idk if he works this weekend. Just a weird feeling to wake up to and has kinda kept me lagged all day.