Mental Health Thread • Page 383

Just got news that my Memere is currently unresponsive with shallow breathing. When my grandfather was at this stage, he didn't last more than a day or two.

I canceled plans to see her last weekend for the first time in months, and rescheduled for this Sunday. I might not even be able to go to the funeral because my fiance just tested positive for COVID on a home test. I'm really sad and feeling guilty.

She's my last living grandparent. The thought of having none is very weird.

 

My fiance's rapid test at convenient md was positive. Fuck.

 

My Memere has passed away. This is rough.

 

I’m so sorry. It truly is never easy. I hope you’re doing okay. I’m always here if you want to chat or vent or whatever.

 

Menopause sucks. I get anxiety on an OCD level about the simple human things like food shopping, basic cleaning around the house, thinking I won't have enough time before I need to settle down for the night. Like right now, I've been going back and forth about either making an instacart order or just stopping at the store on my way home. And then, I need to clean the fridge out, get rid of leftovers, clean the kitchen, get all the trash together cause my buddy is coming to get it all and take it to the dumpster at his work, laundry......

the fucking list goes on and on. and when I get like this, i feel like i'm crawling in my own skin...thinking why am I at work doing nothing when I could be at home doing all the things I need to get done before tomorrow?

WHY AM I LIKE THIS? I have zero chill. I can never just sit down and relax, always have to be doing something around the house cause its probably messed up.....

I need to get back into a routine so that i don't feel so out of sorts.

thank god I'm not like this daily, just once a week when I need to get things done before the weekend. I really need to make myself an "after work tidy up" list and stick to it so I'm not going balls to the walls on Thursday nights.

end rant.

 

Thanks a lot I appreciate it. I thought I was handling it well but then my fiance said "she gets to be with your papa for Christmas now" and now I'm crying heh

 

I am so so sorry hun. Sending you all the hugs.

 

Thanks so much!

 

Just catching up on this thread now. I did a PHP in 2019. Feel free to DM me!

 

just saw this on Nextdoor, definitely talking about that guy. I guess it’s comforting that I wasn’t specifically targeted?

 

I haven't spoken to my mother since May 3rd. Reached out via text for her birthday in October and again on thanksgiving. Never heard from her. My aunt informed me that my mother basically doesn't care about me anymore and I should just stop trying.

Good. Great. Go fuck yourself Jill. Only took you 39 years to admit that you never wanted me.

It's disgusting how this woman who is supposed to be my mother has been insanely jealous of me since I was 4. She would always say "You got difficult when you turned 4". No bitch, your life got difficult...there is a difference. Toddlers aren't tiny grown-ups, they are still CHILDREN. And well its her fault I like my dad more, he never called me a fat whale, cow, c*nt, bitch, slut. Like who fucking calls their child a C*nt? None of my friends moms did...just mine. She yelled it at me one day at the bus stop in front of the entire fucking neighborhood. Many parents called the school after that one and My mom blamed me for it, and for having Child services called on her. she blamed me for phone calls I didn't make. You're the one screaming things at me with other minors around at 6:45am...what did you think was going to happen?

I remember everything that woman did to me. Mommy issues to the max!

I've cried over this, I've yelled over this, even laughed because I really don't know how to feel.

This will be my first Christmas without her. and My birthday is January 2nd so this will be my first birthday in 39 years without her.

Anyways, as much as I hate to say it or even think it...I feel like she's dead. Like I no longer have a mom.

 

I am sorry you’re going through this. Having a family member reject you is tough. I don’t want to make this about me, but my older sister essentially just pretends I don’t exist. Not the same as a mother, but it still sucks. I am okay with it now. It shut down years ago. At a certain point I just decided that I could no longer reach out. Reaching out was only hurting me. So I stopped. If she ever reaches back out, I will respond. But I think I’ll see her at my moms funeral, whenever that happens, and maybe after to divy everything up. And I think that will be it for the rest of my life.all that to say, I know how hard it can be. I also lost my dad when I was 12, so holidays without family has been my constant for 24 years. If you need to talk to someone, my DM’s are open.

 

Thank you!

Only reason I even tried was because of my brothers. I wanted to at least show her I still care and love her, but she's shown me that she doesn't give a crap about me anymore. So...her fucking loss.

I have an amazing father and step mom so, I'll survive.

I just can't believe this is how things went down only 2 years after my step father passed away. He would be so pissed if he knew how things were going down here.

 

found out today that an old friend of mine is living on the street and it was very heartbreaking and eye opening to say the least. gonna try to get some blankets and basic staples to help him along. it's been freezing lately so I want to get everything to him as quickly as possible. the whole thing just fucks me up

 

hope today is a better day

 

My boyfriend was taken to the hospital this morning. They are saying he might have leukemia.

HOW THE HELL IS THIS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?!?!?!

I'm at work and I'm not sure if I should just fucking leave so I can go be with him or what.

I'm freaking out!

 

hoping for the best

 

Might be worth it to ask. Any sort of medical emergencies have resulted in work exemptions for me in the past.

 

Awful. I know it doesn't do much, but I'm keeping you guys in my thoughts. (@Orla , too.) Inbox is always open if any of you want to vent.

 

likewise

it might not be much but y'all are very important to me so anytime you need a friend, never hesitate to reach out

 

I left at 3:30 and was at the hospital till about 8pm. It’s been like 2 years since I cried this much in one day.

boyfriend and I have only been together for 2.5 months and we don’t live together so it’s still new. I actually work better when shit I hitting the life fan lol.

 

All of you are so wonderful. Thank you so much for the love.

 

how’s he doing?

 

he’s exhausted

they ruled out a stroke. But his left arm is numb. He has a hard time using it and he’s so frustrated. He’s also scared…but then semi optimistic. He’s getting an MRI in the morning. They put him back on An IV so he stays hydrated. And finally had all his normal everyday meds put in and took his night time ones. I have a feeling he’s going to have the best sleep of his life though.
His room at the hospital is so nice. Literally the size of a fucking maternity suite. Has his own bathroom too.

once I have an update tomorrow, I’ll let you all know.

 

hoping for the best!