Mental Health Thread • Page 375

I'd rather be told that the vibes aren't there than complete radio silence.

 

Psychiatrist decided a few weeks ago now that it’s time for me to switch from Effexor (too many long term side effects that won’t subside) over to another medication so I’ve been weaning myself off Effexor for a couple weeks now. Has anyone else experienced withdrawal symptoms from coming off SRIs? I have not felt like myself for the last week and it’s awful. Can’t concentrate, forgetting things, headaches, fatigue, awful nightmares, self loathing (more than usual anyway), ruminating thoughts, and that feeling that I’m trapped behind the invisible veil separating me from my family in reality is so strong right now. I hate this. Hate myself. Just feeling really, really low and can’t get out of my head.

 

I weened off of effexor a few years ago but was only on it for 3-4 months. It wasn’t pleasant but not nearly as bad as it seems for you. The best advice I can give is that it’ll end soon and hopefully the new medication works out better.

 

Yes! When I tried to get off of Effexor I had super severe anxiety and panic attacks. My psychiatrist said "well you're going off an anxiety medication so naturally you'll be more anxious" but it was so much worse than my normal anxiety. I ended up going back on it. Hopefully you have better luck than me!

 

I would just like to express my love and thanks to everyone in here for keeping me sane this past week. I got paid last night and paid all my stupid bills and got my phone back on. I'm going to go food shopping after work and work my tushy off the next 5 days doing instacart.

I always say how I'm going to end up alone with no one to take care of me when I'm old, but I'm starting to realize that just because I don't have kids and never will...I'm not going to be alone because I have this place, my family and a handful of close IRL besties.

but the real mvp this week is @Greg

 

Hell yea! That’s what I like to hear. Fond family and friends are so crucial.

 

you're amazing

 

We took our cat to the emergency vet again. She’s back home with us after an enema but basically her colon doesn’t function properly so she gets backed up and they have to clean her out and it’s super invasive and expensive and just not a quality of life she deserves so we’ve had the is it time talks today and it sucks so much

 

Oh Mike, I'm so sorry to hear this

 

I’m so sorry. One of the worst decisions to have to make.

 

Truly awful stuff. Thinking of you

 

Anyone else get nervous before their therapy appointment or is it just me?

 

Always.

 

One month until the wedding and I'm having just major, major anxiety about parts of it. I love weddings, I love my fiancee, and I'm looking forward to it so much, but she is so, so, so negative about her self-image (she needs to see a professional) that I've worried it will ruin the whole day for her. And on top of that, I make like half of what she does and she's not completely comfortable joining bank accounts with me (red flag?) based on her family experiences growing up, and I just hate constantly being in debt to her and not being able to contribute to venue payments in such.

We talked about this before bed last night and I woke up with severe anxiety this morning. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, all I can do is lay there and do breathing exercises and try to ground myself. Made me an hour late for work, which comes with its own stressors this week. Just having a rough one and venting. Thanks.

 

The process of planning for our wedding was incredibly draining and stressful. The day itself went as smoothly as it could go and we had a lot of fun, but I think we were both definitely relieved to have it over with haha.

 

I’d be worried if someone wasn’t anxious with only a month out till their wedding lol All jokes aside, when it comes to your fiancée’s self image issues there is only so much you can do. Be sweet to her and do what you can to reassure her (which I’m sure you’re already doing) and hopefully that will be enough to make her at least halfway comfortable. I struggle with feeling like it’s my responsibility to keep everyone around me happy, but at some points it really is out of your hands. As for the money thing, well shit nobody likes talking about money stuff. For years my wife and I always operated with the “what’s mine is yours” mindset and we only just finished combining our finances last month. You two are choosing life together and money is part of that life. If it makes her more comfortable having things separate (and as long as she isn’t like, keeping score against you) then just roll with it. Maybe after some time she’ll be comfortable enough to join finances. I also know plenty of strong, long term couples that never fully combined their finances so it’s also a preference thing.

At the end of the day, it sounds like you are doing the best you can to ensure that this wedding rips and I’m sure it’ll be the best day for both of you!

 

The 7 years my ex and I were together, I was always in debt to him. I sucked with money my whole life.

I called off our engagement and relationship April 2020 because I was mentally not in it anymore, depressed and just wanted him to be happy with someone who didn't suck at saving money and always having to rely on him.

Its been a struggle, and as you all know, sometimes I can't make ends meet for myself (but always make sure my cats have food and litter cause they are basically my children)

Your situation is obviously very different, but maybe you should talk about going to couples therapy...It might help. Sometimes I wish I had done that with my ex...but you can't go back..ya know?

 

Idk that I'd ever join bank accounts with a partner. I had an ex who was abusive and stole money from my account in the past and he used finances and keeping me financially dependent on him as a means to control me so I have anxiety around that stuff now. I also make more than my bf and am fairly financially responsible and more uptight with money than most and it just gives me comfort having the control over my funds while he's a bit more impulsive with money. But I guess I do see what I make as "my" money and not "our" money like ppl in marriages seem to view it so maybe I'm a red flag lol. I pay a larger share of our bills and I don't keep track or even view it likes he owes me money back even tho he does feel that he needs to repay it so I guess maybe I see it as somewhat our money that I need to control oop.

 

I couldn't even bring myself to start planning a wedding when I got Engaged in 2018. I think I knew then that It wasn't going to happen. Every time someone asked me about it i would shut down so hard and fast and my anxiety would spike.

Probably best I had a total breakdown and set my ex free.

I am very very lucky that my ex is still one of my best friends, and I think that was the issue....We made better friends than lovers. He's still always there for me if i need anything. He also does all the maintenance on my car since he's a mechanic for Nissan.

 

My dad and step mom have a joint account that they put money into for just bills so they split everything. but they have their own individual accounts for everything else.

 

This is pretty much the exact situation we're in. Red flag was maybe a poor choice of words, I just read a lot about divorce between couples who don't combine finances, and how children of divorce are more likely to divorce, and then I ask myself "Why would you marry someone if you can't trust them with money?," and...I spiral. My parents have also been really weird about it. I'm probably just stressed and overthinking it. I completely understand where you are both coming from. There are valid reasons to go in either direction. It's just another thing I'm struggling with right now.

Anyways, thanks everybody for the kind words. I appreciate you all

 

This is the arrangement between my wife and I. It works really well for us.

 

My wife and I still have separate accounts. Mostly because we’ve put off getting a shared account but also partially because my wife’s ex also would manipulate and control her with their finances. So there’s trauma for her there and I get that. We’ve decided a shared savings/checking for bills and then we’d have our own checking accounts for day to day stuff.

 

I just gave in my notice at work and it felt terrific

 

Good for you!