Mental Health Thread • Page 363

My fiancee and I have been doing Weight Watchers, and she's lost 15 pounds, looks amazing (not that she didn't before), but I'm afraid of weighing myself and trying to use clothes as a tangible way to measure any change. I think I'm getting there, I've cut down eating out to one day a week and now average about two miles a day because of my job and the distance form the bus stop to my house. That's nothing for some people, but after two years of working from the couch and literally never exercising, it feels like a win.

All that being said, I wish I could celebrate that progress (or the fact that I got bloodwork back recently and it was all good) as opposed to still losing my mind about what the end result will be, how I will look at my wedding, how I will look for my partner, and whether looking at my wedding photos/videos will trigger me for up to a week at a time. Being "a big guy" shouldn't be and isn't even a bad thing, but when you're surrounded by media that constantly comments on weight and family members that don't understand being sensitive to body image issues, it starts to feel like the singular thing that defines you. And that sucks, because I want to be more than just "a big guy." I want to be able to like me for me without catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror and having my day ruined.

 

you're worried because you care, which is good

you'll get there, just keep at it

 

My mothers cancer has spread, she’s coming off chemo. She has 6-12 months left. Been hoping and trying to keep myself together for over a year now. I feel so defeated, hopeless, numb, angry. I want to walk out of work right now. I genuinely didn’t think things could get worse for my mental health but here we are.

 

that's truly heartbreaking

I'm so sorry to hear that

here if you need to talk

 

I wish you could. It can be unbelievable what we're expected to work through. I know it doesn't change anything, but I'm thinking of you and wishing you both the best.

 

Best thing I ever did for myself when I truly lost weight or need to lose some weight again is to not look at the scale. I only go by how clothes fit and how I look. I would get so anxious about a number or why it would be stuck on a number or hardly going down. And as someone with bad body dysmorphia and that’s always hard on themselves, I relate to a lot of what you said and I know this is easier said than done, but try to be kind to yourself.

 

So sorry to hear this.

 

Tried clonadine for ADHD and anxiety so I could study for a certification exam, aaand apparently that shit just knocks me on my ass haha. Was nodding off drinking my coffee and ended up napping all day instead of studying, ughh. It did help my anxiety though

 

Thank you for the words of encouragement. Another thing I'm trying to keep in mind that my therapist mentioned is that losing weight isn't just losing weight, it's your body changing, so these things do take time and it may not be immediately apparent (especially to yourself) even if you are doing the right things.

As someone with anxiety and a psych eval in August for ADD, this is good to know.

 

It can be a super tough journey but just try to block others out and be as happy as possible. It's easy to get in a cycle stressing out so much about results that you don't stop to enjoy the achievements or progress. It's easy to get fit and be miserable. Just be mindful of your thoughts and attitudes about it if things start to feel distorted. I recently lost weight and the biggest surprise for me was that I had such a positive and healthy outlook at first, until others started noticing the weight loss. When I started seeing results I felt more pressure to keep it up and i fell into the thinking errors i thought i was avoiding. I didn't want to feel like I "failed" and gain it back after everyone complimented me on doing so well. If it starts feeling like it's becoming a big part of your identity/personality or you're noticing other red flags, just pay attention to them. I notice i respond best to body neutrality and i try to follow those ppl on social media and ppl who are positive and inclusive. For a while tiktok had me going down this disordered eating algorithm and I just had to block it all.

Focus on feeling your best! 2 miles is great! The best form of exercise is one that is sustainable and you can work into your schedule and maintain. Walking is great and less impact! Sometimes people will get so intense about when leg day is, gains, reps, etc and while I do think that has value and if it works for ppl that's great, I noticed it doesn't work for me. Sometimes I just don't feel like doing a certain exercise and that's fine. I have to remind myself I don't have to follow a strict routine and just do what i enjoy. Unless ur becoming a body builder or need really specific results, it's not necessary to be that stringent imo. If I dislike a certain form of exercise I don't do it. Keeping exercising fun is the only thing that has kept it sustainable for me. Good luck!

 

Thank you so much for the encouraging words, as someone whose weight has fluctuated since almost middle school I identify with a lot of this. I have a friend who had the gastric sleeve operation done and he told me the one thing to keep in mind is that even after that process, he still looks in the mirror and has issues with the way he looks. The weight can go away and that can be a good thing if you want it to, but it won't be the end of your image issues because of how they're rooted. It sounds so pessimistic to say that, but it's more of a relief just knowing that the steps I'm taking are good and that it's not worth killing myself for a goal that's unobtainable (or unsustainable).

As a rule of thumb, I wish people would just not comment on the body of others unless invited to. Even compliments about looking better can warp your brain if they validate the way you felt about your body before. I know a lot of people don't realize that and just want to encourage you to be healthy, but some people (like my mother, who is generally very sweet) will take it personally if you even gently confront them about how those kinds of comments make you feel. it's tough.

Anyways, thanks again, Kiana. I really appreciate the kind words and advice.

 

I relate to this so much Aaron, I am bigger as well, I think about it everyday and what I need to do in order to turn it around and it's been years of not much progress. Pictures and videos trigger me too. Something about my demeanor makes people think it's okay to joke about my weight/size and every time someone brings it up it crushes me. I wish I had some magical remedy but I definitely relate to this so much.

If there is any advice I can give, it's that in my opinion, people analyze our pictures or even us in person about 5% as much as we think they do. With pictures especially, people will just glance at your wedding photos and be happy for you and move on. I never look at other peoples pictures the way I look at my own.

 

Definitely. I try to think about this even when looking in the mirror. Like, of course I am hyperfixated on how I look in a certain shirt or outfit. But when I'm moving around, out and about with people, I like to think no one notices the same way I would. Thanks again for the kind words and wishing you the best as well.

The jokes are awful because even if you are comfortable joking about it yourself, people don't realize how much of a defense mechanism that is. The goal is to beat everyone else to the punch. If you hear it coming form yourself, you might not have to hear it from someone else. Or, that might take that as permission that you're okay with joking about it when that's not the case. Either way, it fucking sucks.

 

I’ll seriously go out in public and my anxiety or whatever has me thinking everyone is looking at me and critiquing how I look or thinking I look goofy/etc., it sucks for sure

 

Anyone on or have experience with citalopram and/or hydrOXYzine? The former is going to be my daily and the latter is if I start feeling symptoms of an attack coming on. Starting with 10mg.

 

I took hydroxyzine years ago but it didn't do anything other than make me sleepy. Everyone's different tho

 

I take hydroxyzine pamoate 25mg as needed, not daily. It's helped with anxiety but when my anxiety was getting bad a few months ago I felt it not really working well and needing something different. I haven't gone back to a psychiatrist yet to get something different though

 

Yeah, that stuff knocks me out

 

I also take hydroxyzine for my anxiety. I’ll echo that it does just generally make me more sleepy so I take it at night before I go to bed. If nothing else, it does help quiet my ruminating thoughts at night and allows me to get more rest.

 

This knocks me out too.
Klonopin is by far the best.

 

My doctor absolutely refuses to prescribe benzos even if it's just one or two pills for a flight, super frustrating

 

I don't think I've ever had the sleepiness side effects of hydroxyzine. I did get very tired when I took the generic version of Lexapro, don't remember what it was called, but it made my anxiety way worse so I stopped taking it

 

Gonna have to check if that's the one that absolutely put me on my ass the single time I took it. Seconding the Klonopin love.

 

Klonopin is the best and actually helps me but my PCP won’t prescribe it because of my previous addiction issues.

 

I used to take citalopram for a long time. It was fine most of the time. But eventually I needed stronger stuff.