Mental Health Thread • Page 360

Sorry to hear that happened. The fact that the worker didn’t even know he didn’t work there anymore shows how poor communication is going on. And I’m not sure they’re scheduling system, but usually you book under a certain doctor, therefore they should have known to update the schedule and notify patients.

 

I really wish people wouldn’t say you could talk to them about anything, any time when they don’t actually want you to. It feels like shit and is sooooo embarrassing. I know they’re trying to be nice but actually, it makes things worse because you feel ashamed of your emotions.

For me, when I do try to talk to someone, it almost feels like I’m verbally attacking someone. I’m just talking to a friend or acquaintance about life stuff and I mention the miserable poverty I have to live in simply because of the way I was born. A decent amount of sympathy would do. They mostly have pretty good lives but don’t know how to understand the kind of situations you’re in so they look at you like a three-headed dragon and contemplate what they could possibly say. At the end of the day, they don’t really, actually care because if they did, they would be just as outraged that someone they’re friends with has to live like that.

It’s really hard to find people that care about you, even if you think you’re good friends. I just wish it wasn’t, it’s such a lonely friggin world. I’m lucky I have a therapist but there’s only so much nodding they can do because they feel so bad for you. Unfortunately, a lot of people lack compassion and empathy for anyone in a different situation than themselves.

 

This. It’s irritating when people say “I’m here to talk if you want”, and when you hit them up they get annoyed and tell you to “let it go” or whatever. It feels terrible to be shut out when someone says they’ll be there for you. We all go through hard times. And then people wonder why other people are closed off and don’t want to talk about stuff

 

Not only am I horribly depressed, now I'm physically sick all the time too!

Loving life. It's perfect.

 

The worst part about moving is finding all new services like a new hair person, doctors, gym, oil change place... all of it. I am so set in my ways. I get so much anxiety about where to even start. I did make the plunge with a new doctor and its gone well but I just hate unknown variables. Instead I just shut down and don't do it and then complain that I haven't done it. But the anxiety is way more overwhelming. I thought I had made progress in my old town but I think I was able to branch out within a comfort zone and it gave a false sense of branching out. Now I don't have the comfort zone at all and am frozen. I'll look through online reviews or whatever until I get overwhelmed and give up. I had a certain confidence where I was, and now it's gone. But the only thing that's changed is my feeling less confident, like these people here don't know I'm new to the area and feel anxious. I should be able to channel that old confidence but it feels totally lost.

 

Change is hard for everyone and with anxiety it can feel so much worse. Historically my anxiety spirals out quite a bit during major life changes, even positive ones like finishing school, moving to another town, or getting married. I would just try to take it step by step, celebrate every task you accomplish, and understand that it takes time to lay down new roots. I’m sure once you get established there you’ll feel closer to how you did before the move.

 

I’m also stuck in my ways. I don’t like changing doctors, dentists, aesthetic services. The anxiety is overwhelming.

 

I actually realized that my ex used to constantly do this. They would ask if I wanted to talk about something rough I was going through and feign concern before ultimately gaslighting me in some way, pretty much every time. It was traumatic. It definitely aided that feeling of believing no one actually cares.

 

Oops meant to post this in another thread

 

My ex would do something similar. I’d express how I felt about something and he’d basically tell me I shouldn’t be feeling that way/telling me how I’m suppose to feel. Makes it difficult to open up. Especially when other people around you do similar shit telling you how you’re allowed to feel

 

That’s so gross. Sorry you went through all of that as well. At first my ex would act supportive but soon after that, they would turn it around. They would start blaming me for it and being very ableist. I feel so idiotic for letting myself be treated like that over and over and over again.

 

If it's any sort of consolation to either of you, I also dealt with something very similar with my ex and only now am I actually re-learning to feel certain emotions again because I no longer have the fear of them being used against me, nearly 4 years after the fact.

 

The paperwork is overwhelming for our situation.

 

been having some struggles lately. not worth more detail than that but i guess the path to progression isn't always linear.

 

Apparently took one door slam to undo all the work I’ve done to be a better fiancé & an easier person to be around. I’m just destined to be a miserable person on borrowed time. Just twisting in the wind until I finally just end it all like I should have when I was 16.

 

So, in my town, news is coming out that a junior in our high school was expelled for vandalism, and has now committed suicide. The story is coming out in pieces, and information is not known at this point (though students are aware, texting parents, etc.... about a counselor involved, etc....)

So I want you all to know that the road we are taking has bumps. But someone is thinking about you right now.

 

We don’t know each other, but I’d be happy to talk on zoom if you are open to it. You can just vent, or we can talk about something completely different than what’s going on.

 

so torn on what to do about my job. it’s….it’s a lot. it’s not the worst restaurant I’ve worked at but it’s definitely not even close to the best. I like my coworkers well enough, management is alright if a little incompetent and oblivious to their workers needs, and I live right down the street and walking to and from work is good and healthy for me. but I feel like I don’t get paid nearly enough for the work I do, I’m on an Ivy League college campus so the clientele is mostly fucking garbage and tips are usually if not average then straight up horrible, it’s very rare I get generously tipped maybe once every other shift I’ll get something over 20% which is terrible, and I know it’s not me I’m fucking amazing at my job I laugh with my guests and make good recommendations and really feel like I connect with them, but college kids and grad students don’t give a shit and will tip you dick regardless of how good at your job you are and they’ll run you ragged for no reason. And it’s extremely high volume so more often than not I’m stressed and overwhelmed and putting in way too much effort for people I know won’t tip me properly. And it sucks relying on tips for my income since the restaurant pays me 2.83 an hour yet routinely makes me do ridiculous manual labor like moving extremely heavy furniture all around the dining room and patio literally every day and doing a bunch of cleaning and maintenance that they legitimately don’t pay me for. I get put on contracted parties a lot and my checks are never as much as they imply I’m gonna be making from working these super stressful events. I’m just over it and know I could do better not only in the same line of work but probably in another line of work, which I’m thinking I might need to start considering. My sleep schedule is fucked to hell because of this job, I rarely eat more than a meal or two a day, I don’t feel fulfilled or happy in the slightest and I’m just burnt the fuck out and I’ve only been back to work for three months (I worked a few months out of last year as well but was in and out of treatment too much to work consistently). But…the thought of having to look for another job especially one in another line of work sounds like absolute hell. I really don’t know what to do.

 

Had my first panic attack this weekend. Thought I was having a heart attack and went to the ER. Not a fan.

 

I don’t know what’s going on with my mind lately. My dumb ass forgot I put a can of soda in the freezer to cold quicker, twice. My anxiety has been so bad I can’t leave the house to go to the store. My mind won’t let me. I also haven’t been able to keep things tidy. I’ve been very forgetful other ways too. My depression is in its lows for no reason really but me just feeling really depressed on top of everything

 

Shit's going really well overall lately as it turns out but god fucking damn, I despise having to exist in this world as a Jewish person sometimes. No one gives a fuck about antisemitism, regardless of how much they may talk nice about it. When the chips are down, at the end of the day, everyone just sees you as a walking punchline. I'm so over it. It's no hyperbole to say that I fundamentally don't connect with gentiles, and I despise most of them. I'm tired of living in a culturally Christian society where speaking out about being disrespected is seen as more unreasonable than the disrespect itself, and I'm tired of gentiles so obviously not believing a word out of my mouth when I talk about all the shit I've seen and gone through just because I or someone else was Jewish.

Like, what is the fucking point? Our people are supposed to be compassionate (albeit measured) and have a moral duty to uphold justice and human rights - but why the fuck do we bother continuing to extend olive branches to people that only continue to crush the fruits in a tight fist and break our fingers for good measure, for no cause other than the amusement they derive from watching us recoil and howl in pain? What trick could there possibly be that explains how we're meant to navigate this shit? It's absolutely crushing, and on top of being transfemme the hyper-awareness of how alone I ultimately am (as has been proven by the constant experience of being cast aside by those I thought were my ride-or-die compatriots and friends with immense ease) despite my dogged efforts to be as good a person I possibly can and to do no harm to anybody is soul-sucking.

Fuck, man. What is there to even do or say? I'm just lost and angry and upset. I always have myself at the end of the day and I'm glad I've reached a point where I don't need anyone else's validation to be at peace with my own self. It's the outer world I struggle to grapple with more and more as the days go on.

 

Were you given anything that helped? I'm thinking I need to go back to a psychiatrist or something soon because my medication isn't helping like it used to

 

nope, i have an appointment today so i'll let you now what they decide

 

Idk why but lately my anxiety has made it really hard to do anything. Some days it gets so bad, I just want to lay in bed or on the couch and do nothing. Can’t get my mind to get me to get up and cook. It’s days like this that really sucks to be single and alone. On top of not having anyone to talk to about my stressful days at work. I’ve kinda given up on dating. Years of trying and getting no where. What I’m looking for doesn’t exist where I live. And if it does, it’s not online. I just want someone to go on trips with, spend time with etc. I don’t think some people realize how lonely being alone actually is for some of us.

I don’t know how I can get meds or help for my anxiety without looking like a drug seeker. Because asking for meds really makes me feel like I’ll be viewed that way

 

I gotta wear a heart monitor for a few days since one of the tests from the ER came back as “sub-optimal.” If the heart monitor doesn’t show anything unusual we’ll talk about medication and I’ll let you know what they put me on.