Mental Health Thread • Page 357

things are going alright lately like im all good and feel good but my girlfriend has been going through some really hard things and my grandfather is extremely sick and probably doesnt have much longer which has been extremely hard on my mom who im very close to so those two things lingering the background are making me feel pretty down today. trying to enjoy my days off work this week but its hard to really care about my free time when others so close to me are suffering and theres nothing i can do. ive been feeling better about my sobriety though and will have 90 days tomorrow and both my gf and my mom have told me that staying clean means the world to them and is helping them get through their shit right now. so i at least can feel proud about that.

 

Good for you! I’ve been in and out of this thread and seen your posts over the last couple months. Glad to hear you’re staying strong through all of the craziness.

 

Totally random for me to post in here, but today....not sure why...I feel very lonely.

 

I get that. There’s some days where I can’t help but feel alone no matter who I’m around. I try to remember that I’m not always as alone as I feel, easier said than done of course.

 

I finally reached out to talk to a professional after getting over whatever the cost was going to be. Took my umpteeth panic attack of the past month to finally make the call. I reached out to a psychiatrist because I felt like it was serious enough, but they suggested I see a therapist first because they don't want to waste my time/money on an evaluation when I might not need medication (which I might need, but I get what they're saying). The downside is that I haven't been able to get in touch with the therapist they referred me to. Left a message a couple of times but haven't gotten a call back or anything. I would try again or ask to be referred to someone else but it's starting to feel hopeless. I feel worse everyday & have been fighting with my fiancee a bunch. Shit just really sucks now.

 

Great first step! Keep pursuing — the right therapist will come along. I think your psychiatrist is 100% correct. There may even be some practical things to look at that can help with your anxiety/panic attacks. I’ve seen people make improvements through addressing their sleep schedule and breakfast routines. There are many things to look at before medication — although medication can be necessary.

 

Panic attacks are really awful, and I've suffered from panic disorder since I was 20, 31 now. I will say, through treatment I have pretty much put them behind me. Waiting to get seen can be hard, but if I could relay some of the most powerful tools I've used to you until then...

"to not do"

It's a Taoist principle, and learning to "not do" is really hard, but with deep breathing it can be really powerful. The ways I found to "not do" was to understand my panic. The feelings it gives me, physically, mentally, to know them well. There is comfort is knowing your discomforts. The familiarity of their returns can make dealing with them easier. You've been here before, and been on the other side. By simply "not doing," you can help accelerate yourself through it.

 

I second this. Eastern philosophy has some really helpful mindsets for approaching a life with anxiety. I discovered mindfulness, which sounds really similar to this, a few years ago and it’s helped me a lot with my mental health throughout the pandemic/craziness of the last 4 years

 

Was still feeling pretty lonely all weekend, but I made the best of it by cleaning the hell out of my bedroom and organizing things, did like 3 loads of laundry and had a much needed good cry yesterday. I think what really triggered the tears was the realization that 27 years ago, I was 11 and my first brother was born. How the fuck did 27 years go by? I'm so overwhelmed by the realization all this time has passed so quickly.

I did end the weekend on a happy note, my married friends came over to hangout and have a smoke sesh/group therapy sesh while we watched the closing ceremony for the Olympics. It was exactly what I needed. Looking to crush this week at work and just doing things that make me feel happy and productive.

 

Agreed, it is a really great tool. My therapist also runs a Tao study group so it's very much apart of roster. It's good to know that it's all about balancing. For example, for me, I put off medication for a while, but now that I'm on a SSRI, coupled with the tools i've learned from therapy/eastern philosophies, I feel pretty well equipped. It likely won't be just one thing that does the trick, but a few things that are right for you.

 

my grandpa has officially been placed on hospice care. not sure what the timeline looks like but it’s definitely not gonna be more than a few months until he passes. I just feel so bad for my mom who has gotten no sleep and no rest or peace or time to herself since all this started happening back in November. also my grandma who has been able to go back home after the accident but still has to deal with everything going on with my grandpa, as well as not being completely mobile herself and needing a lot of help which again is keeping my mom busy as hell because of their four kids my mom is the only one who doesn’t work (and one of my uncles doesn’t even live in the same state as them so he can’t do anything) so she has had to carry the burden of it all. and I know I’m really removed from it all living as far away as I do but me and my mom are very close and I was extremely close with my grandparents my entire life they helped raise me and have always been there it’s just been hard to watch and be so far away while this is all going on. but again the least I can do is maintain my sobriety and on that end I’m about as solid as I’ve ever been which I know takes a massive weight off my mothers shoulders, I’ve put her through absolute hell and back and the last thing she needs right now is the burden of wondering whether or not I’m alive at any given moment on any day.

 

Being socially inept really fucking sucks. It's like, I don't want to die but I really wish there was a way to make myself disappear forever & not change anything else about the world.

 

Have no energy and don't want to do anything but lay in bed all day and sleep. Besides going to work, the gym, and the grocery store, I do absolutely nothing.

 

I get it feels bad to have no energy but honestly if those are gonna be the three places you go, they're great ones to choose! Don't be too hard on yourself

 

well I just had an awful experience, I’m broke again but todays pay day so no big deal, I’m behind on feb rent still but with todays check I’ll be caught up and able to afford march less than a week after that’s due, no worries everything’s coming together. except my work lost our fucking checks this week and didn’t have them to give to us today, so I couldn’t even get myself something to eat for dinner after work let alone get my fucking 3+ week late rent paid, so I call my mom for help at least to eat and of course I know exactly how it sounds, your drug addict son’s work miraculously lost his check and he needs direct cash now, why the fuck should she believe me, and I know she was skeptical af asking me weird questions that made me think yup she thinks I’m asking for money to go use. She did send me a little bit to be able to eat tonight, no clue what I’m gonna do about the rent especially if they don’t find our checks tomorrow because I still have no idea how they really lost our checks and if I’ll actually be able to get it tomorrow. I literally broke down crying after I got off the phone I’m so fucking sick of feeling like a burden even 95 days clean down the line and no one trusts me enough to give me a little money for food, I feel like I’ll never be able to do anything without getting a skeptical side eye from someone. I’m doing the best I can and it never feels like it’s enough.

 

one of the side effects of the medication im on is extreme fatigue/tiredness/sleepiness and ive been on it since august and as a result i sleep a minimum of 10 hours a night with an hour or two nap a day minimum, sometimes going so far as to equal nearly 15-18 hours of sleep in a 24 hour span. i fucking hate it and the medication is a monthly injection i get that basically gives me my daily dose of the medication throughout the course of a month, so after a few weeks it starts to get a little better, then next thing i know its time for my next shot and im sleeping 12+ hours a day for two weeks again. on top of that it causes extreme, almost chronic nausea and vomiting. but its "life saving" medication that no one in my life will let me get off of until ive been clean for a year. anyway my point is i feel your pain and it fucking sucks, even if its not medication induced that inability to get out of bed or feeling like the tiniest, simplest tasks are too monumental to take on is the most draining shit in the world.

 

My life is absolutely pathetic. I've basically been stagnant for 10 years. Barely able to pay my bills and don't have a real career, just a horrible job that any breathing human can do.

 

Yeah even going to get groceries feels like a chore. I don't know how I function.

 

shit man, I’m sorry to hear

I hope you get your check sorted out tomorrow and everything ends up alright on your end

keep your head up and if I can ever help in a way, please feel free to reach out

 

I'm seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist and I'm going to a group therapy thing soon along with seeing so many other doctors on a near daily basis and this is possibly the worst I've felt in my life.

I can't sleep because I'm scared to go in my bed and try to fall asleep. Then when I finally sleep it's so early in the morning and I can't get out of bed so I waste the whole day until like 5 in the afternoon. I never see friends or even move around much anymore.

I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm not suicidal. I'm way too scared of dying for that right now. I'm worried I can't recover from this life.

 

I’m alone in life and it’s really depressing. I have no one to talk to when things are tough. Most of my life has been like this. I did not grow up in a “loving” home or environment, so I have trauma from it. I just wish I can find someone to spend time with and talk to about my day

 

I completely get that. I'm very alone as well. Everyone else has either moved on or has their own life and I'm just here by myself all the time. I hate going to sleep because of how lonely I get.

 

I also feel like a failed in life. I don’t get paid much at my job, and with no partner I’ll never be able to afford a house. Especially in the state I live in I’ll never get a house. I hate the state/city I’m in. I don’t see myself going anywhere. Rent is out the ass so I also can’t afford a “luxury” apartment.

 

I feel those feelings too. The pandemic really made a lot of loose friendships I had disappear and my best friends all got stuff going on. Growing up sucks.

 

Growing up is 1000% one of the worst things in life