Mental Health Thread • Page 348

Depressed because I'm always broke but I'm so depressed all I want to do is eat so I spend money on fast food, which then makes me even more broke.

 

I'm finally happy to say that I've reached a point where I don't need my happiness to hinge on other people anymore but man oh man I really look forward to the day where I cook myself breakfast because I want to and don't have to force myself to do it just because I have to.

 

Learning to not care about what people think has helped me a bit with my self consciousness. Like I’m still gonna be aware of things but if someone I never met or talk to wants to talk about who I am? I don’t give a fuck.

 

Really overwhelmed with a new job that I was thrust in due to an employee leaving the company and just kind of broke down to a senior coworker of mine. Shared with him that I have bipolar 2 and that I'm currently in the process of adjusting my meds and that all of this new stuff is destroying my mental health. He sympathized greatly and shared his father has bipolar. He was really adamant that I wouldn't jeopardize my job wanting to move back to my old team because people love me and think I'm a great worker (something I just don't see because.. depression and imposter syndrome). He's going to talk to our director about it without dropping names.

I'm in such a weird mix of feeling overwhelmed and relieved to finally get this off my chest. I've been crying ever since though.

 

@RyanPm40 such a great feeling to be seen/heard. Happy for you!

 

I started a new medication called Vraylar last week and I’ve been feeling better the last few days especially energy- and motivation-wise, which has been a huge issue for me the past ~6 years. I’ve tried so many meds and nothings made much of a difference, so I’m a bit skeptical that i will continue to feel better. But there’s a tad bit of hope now

 

Been doing really well for a while until this week, my panic/anxiety has returned full fucking force and I hate it.

 

Being mobbed by Reddit incels over a joke post is not the mood I need to be in for finals week. I swear, I try really hard to not have an intrinsic hatred of men, but so many of them make it so goddamn hard to let go of.

 

Depression sucks. I have no energy to do anything on the weekends or do my makeup anymore during work weeks. I just hate being alone all the time and have no one to talk to. If I had a stressful day and want to talk about it, I can’t because I have no one. It just sucks. I don’t have a plus 1 to do anything with either.

 

I have no idea when I’ll see my partner again.

 

Fuck cishet men. Don’t let them get to you.

 

Mother's day is causing me to miss my grandma more than expected. I had a dream where she was saying something to me. I don't remember what. But in the dream I seemed to have a level of awareness that she was dead but like in the dream she was alive and healthy and telling me one last thing before I was set to go on a stage and perform?? Which I don't even do. Idk. Dreams are weird. But then I saw my uncle make a post about her on insta today and it just hammered in the sadness

 

The new med, Vraylar, is still helping me quite a bit. Kind of can’t believe it after like 6 or 7 years of trying to find an effective med. It’s off-label for depression, but my psych is a whiz at getting insurance to cover things

 

Sorry, that is awful man

 

I’m feeling suspicious about some things and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I wish I had someone I can talk to about it but I have no one. I’m very confused and now I’m very anxious because of it

 

I finally went to see a doctor last week. It’s been years since I’ve gone and a lot has happened in between... I’ve gone from being in the best shape I’ve been in, to now, probably the worst.

Also a few years ago my dad had an incidental injury that ultimately led to him discovering he had cancer, with no real prior symptoms or pain or anything. A couple years ago he passed away, and while I’ve been dealing with that, I’ve also wrestled with the thought and fear for a long time where I wondered, “what if something is wrong with me and I don’t know it?” It’s honestly petrified me for years in the back of my mind...

Back to my doctors visit... I got checked out, blood work actually came back mostly fantastic to my surprise. Nearly all levels were good to great, I just need to be more active (which has been a challenge this last year and through the winter more recently). That was expected... but I came away really grateful for a new sense of relief and peace of mind that aside from needing to get back into shape, I’m in good health.

Still, it’s hard because I’ve been pretty concerned as of late and those fears I talked about were really getting to me this last year or two. Now comes the time, I guess, to retrain my brain not to worry... I think it will really be helpful to be more active, which will help with getting the endorphins going again, get the energy back up, get better sleep and overall, get the mind back in a healthier place.

It’s just a process...

 

It’s good you took time to make sure you’re doing okay, we often don’t even think about it

 

I've never felt so lost.

 

I have so many good things falling into place for myself but I can't seem to accept it at all. I keep feeling like my life is about to end or like every day is going to be my last. I don't understand. I'm so sick of feeling this way.

 

Every time I get a physical ailment of some sort, my mental health takes a nose dive. I had a mole biopsy done on Tuesday, dead center of my chest, and now it's infected. I'm freaked out about it being MRSA or spreading into my bloodstream or etc. I've had MRSA once so I feel like I'm at higher risk, etc. My doctor gave me an antibiotic and cultured it, so I guess I'll find out soon enough, but it's a holiday weekend so don't know how fast I'll get those results. Just been depressed about it all day.

 

If you had MRSA once you are at a higher risk of having a MRSA infection. Because of that, I’d hope your doctor put you on an antibiotic that also treats MRSA (Bactrim- maybe)? But honestly if the infection was spreading to your bloodstream you’d have a fever and feel like complete shit. That’s also more likely in the elderly as opposed to healthy young people. Plenty of people are colonized with MRSA, so don’t think that means you’re unhealthy! My main takeaway is that if you’re feeling okay, you’re probably just fine!

 

You're doing everything you're supposed to be doing to treat the potential MRSA. I had it a couple years ago (on my butt cheek, that was fun) and I was really going through it until I got some antibiotics for it and had the infection cut open. That's when things started getting better.

 

I’ve been depressed for most of my life and have endured many traumas. It’s made it really hard to keep up on organization, cleaning etc. Today I did a thing. I pretty much put away all my laundry after doing it, and that’s not usually something I do. I also threw away a few things that I didn’t need. I work on trying to “downsize” and only have one of items like laundry soap, hand soap, lotions, moisturizers etc. But when there’s a sale it’s hard not to buy. Slowly I’m trying to organize.

 

I need a reason to get out of bed that isn’t looking after my dog. It’s so hard to find purpose when you’re unemployed (outside some freelance work) and your state is in lockdown for the fourth time.

 

Just found out one of my cousins relapsed and overdosed last night, a week shy of his 39th birthday. He's in the ICU but things are not looking good. We weren't close - I've seen him 3 times in the last 15 years, 2 of those being funerals - but damn, it still hits.