Mental Health Thread • Page 343

I FUCKING HATE CHRISTMAS

nothing good ever happens

I associate it with a lot of trauma and abuse

When I try and rehabilitate it by making new traditions it fails (yeah Ill keep trying but for this year)

I just need to scream

I FUCKING HATE CHRISTMAS

 

GOAT sad Christmas song. Feels especially appropriate this year.

 

My family: you can talk to us about anything, don’t bottle shit up
Me: speaks frankly about the stresses of Christmas on me personally and suggests that we do much less next year
My family: oh no, stop being a hermit, Mary. It’s not like we’re asking for much! It’s only two days of the year!

two days a year cause a month’s worse of overwhelming stress and anxiety for me but OK. I’m so done

 

I feel the same way about Christmas, and that’s what I was trying to do this year with my girlfriend, who is very family-oriented. It worked until midnight and I feel like I fucked up the day for all those emotions coming out as anger over little things so late in the evening after what truly was a nice day.

 

I don’t know about y’all, but even though I normally feel pretty neutral about the holidays (the main thing I enjoy is picking out presents for friends and family, the rest I can take or leave), this holiday season has been really hard. I think it’s a combination of a lot of things for me - generally, just what a shit year it’s been with everything going on in the world from COVID to the election to cops murdering Black people. And then on a personal note - not being able to see friends and extended family, as well as it being the first holiday season since my ex and I broke up.

 

My little brother is struggling a lot but is also being so selfish and terrible in a lot of ways and I’m so exhausted with trying to help him. But I worry that every time I say no or try to set a boundary, that will be the time I find his fucking body. It’s pushing me deeper into my own mental health issues and I don’t know what else to do so here I am complaining online.

 

Slight update- he did in fact tell my husband he was thinking abt ODing on his meds yesterday morning, so we took him to the ER and he’s getting checked into inpatient today. Spent all day yesterday cleaning his apartment and getting work arrangements made and am just so tired and sad. I’m glad he’s getting help but I feel so helpless and heartbroken.

 

hugs

 

Damn. I’m sorry y’all are going through this. But him getting help is a great first step and your support will help guide him through this. Please try to remember self care, too.

 

You did the right thing. As hard as it certainly is, you saved your brother’s life stepping in and making him go get help. A lot of people wouldn’t do what you did, learned that the hard way in my life. Stay strong.

 

I'm at my parents house for some medical appointments and my mother always has the TV/news on and I heard them report that now one American dies every 30 seconds from COVID and I'm fucking losing my mind. I hate this. I'm so terrified of being alive and I am beyond terrified of dying. I just don't even know what to do anymore.

 

I feel like I'm questioning everything about my life lately. I wish so many things had turned out differently.

 

Man, this hits true.

 

Same here. Everyday I wish go back to high school and just re-do every aspect of my life.

 

Holy shit.

This. Hands down.

 

Not quite high school for me, but I wish I had a shot at my early 20s again. I’d do so much differently.

 

I'm so fucked up right now. Boss asked me to come to an in-person meeting I had nothing to do with just so I could tour the facility. Told me not to wear a mask when we got there. Spent half the meeting complaining that people need to get over COVID because his grandma had it and "she was fine" (even though the client we were seeing was in the fucking hospital with it) and spent the other half claiming the capitol freaks were leftists dressed as Trump supporters.

I'm so mad at myself for taking my mask off. I feel like a coward. I cracked under the pressure because there were three people in the room joking about it. I took tomorrow off because I was supposed to have a psych appointment, but now it's been postponed a month so my meds are gonna be fucked and I get to spend my three day weekend praying I don't get COVID, or give it to my fiancee (who works at a nursing home and just got the vaccine a few days ago), or my cats. On top of it all, he's implementing a new daily report system where we're supposed to track everything we work on down to the half hour, so even venting here is taking a toll on my day.

I'm frustrated. I'm crying. I'm so fucking tired of this and I feel like there's no way out that doesn't make my life even more hellish for the foreseeable future.

 

Hang in there man. I'm lucky to have a job that requires us to wear masks, but I have run into a few people who refuse to wear a mask and laugh at me when they see me wearing one.

 

I’m so anxious when making new friends. I have a headache. Overthinking a simple text makes me feel so silly, why is my brain wired like this?

 

Does therapy work? I'm drinking and thinking thoughts that I don't usually think. I feel like I'm not where I should be in life. I know in the morning I'll go back to doing nothing about it, so I figured I'd message people I don't know about it just to get things off my chest.

 

As far as "working", I don't think therapy is for everyone, but it's a good start. I went for months and months, and I still don't feel "better".

 

I'll throw in my two cents and agree that while it may not be for everyone, it helped me immensely and gave me the tools to dig myself out of a hole of constant anxiety and episodic depression that I still struggle with, but have a largely easier time handling now.

It won't cure anything, but it will promote internal growth that can help you overcome.

 

My co-worker got home after a doc appointment and his dog wouldn't move from this one spot on the floor and my co-worker said he wanted to stay home with him today because this was odd behavior. Then like two hours later he said his dog wanted to go outside, walked to his favorite spot of the yard and laid down and passed away. And it's fucking me up cause my cat is like 13 years old and that's my fear like everyday even though she's had checkups and she's healthy but i'm like hyper fixated on it at the moment and it's derailing my day.

 

Just wanna say - I get it. I’ve been anxious about my two 15 year old cats ever since one of them was diagnosed with advanced kidney disease in the summer. The other one has been sick his whole life with chronic rhinitis. It’s been such a shitty period of my life and I really don’t know how I would cope if they died. Luckily, they’ve been responding to medication and are doing well, but it’s hard knowing that any day they could take a turn for the worse. I try to tell myself just to be thankful for every day I have with them, and that helps a bit. Plus, 13 isn’t that old for a cat, and since she’s healthy, you likely will have quite a few years left together. Cats are amazing companions and I’m glad you have her and she has you.

 

Thank you. It got better on Friday when I was able to get home and see my cat. It also helps that my cat has been extra affectionate lately which is out of her character so it’s been a great change of pace.

I’m sorry your cats are sick. Glad to hear they’re responding to medicine well though!