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Mental Health Thread • Page 340

Discussion in 'General Forum' started by AelNire, Mar 9, 2016.

  1. inspectorkemp

    a literal succubitch

    So apparently the experts of the DSM-V are currently in big discussions about whether or not ADHD belongs on the autism spectrum which would quite frankly explain so, so much about me. Part of me hopes it's what they settle on in terms of definition because it would make my life so much simpler. Thinking back on all the bizarre social interactions I've had that I couldn't explain where I didn't understand what was going on or what I did wrong in this new light almost makes me wanna cry. Like, I'm not just "crazy." I knew that already with my ADHD diagnosis but all the same.
     
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  2. Melbourne lifted restrictions four weeks ago and I’m still experiencing anxiety around going out as severe as I did in high school
     
    Elder Lightning likes this.
  3. inspectorkemp

    a literal succubitch

    Here's a fun trick. Goad someone trying to be helpful into a fight, make her cry, tear apart her arguments when they start falling apart because she's CRYING, humiliate her and make her feel and look like the crazy one all while telling her she's gaslighting you.
     
  4. Fuck Alzheimer’s
     
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  5. Elder Lightning

    A lightning bolt without a cloud in the sky Supporter

    Found out yesterday that my father, whom I haven't seen in 23 years and haven't spoken to in over 20 has COVID. He lives in a nursing home and suffers from numerous health problems related to years of alcohol and drug abuse. He's apparently fine so far, but I don't really know how I - or how to - feel about it.

    It brings up the reality that, sooner rather than later, he's going to be dead and I'm not sure how I'll process that.
     
  6. Jbent

    Trusted

    I am not sure why I'm posting this but maybe I will after I write this. I've lived through many different kinds of struggles whether they were self-inflicted or caused by something else, I have grown into a person that I can accept, forgive, and love.

    Somehow this year I finally pulled my shit together enough to feel good about marrying the woman I've been with since we were teenagers. What I'm having trouble with now is different. Her sister died tragically in July and yesterday her mother passed away suddenly as well.

    To watch a person you care about more than your own self be in extreme devastation is so fucked up. Helpless doesn't do it justice, I am just numbed out and sad while trying to be "strong" for her. I feel disingenuous speaking aloud because I don't believe the shit I'm going to say. I got no words for comfort and it's awful. Truly fucked to be shown how little control you ever had at all. From the thought of something good to say by the time I go to speak I realize it's wrong and is not going to matter. The inability to say "its ok" or "it'll be alright" and mean it is troubling me deeply.

    I guess this is me coming to terms with the fact I got no one to turn to and ask for help or advice. Trying to process what's happening while hurting immensely for her is surreal and I'm letting my personal bullshit get in the way of consoling and idk being a baseline sympathetic and decent human. Having nothing to say while your brain is whipping thoughts from every direction is terrible. There is so much reality right now that it's foriegn, however fucked that seems.

    Sorry to ramble, I appreciate anyone who read that :heart:
     
  7. jkauf

    Prestigious Supporter

    Some of this may not apply since this is just my personal experience and I don’t know how she’s been handling/reacting to what happened in July and now yesterday.

    Either way, I’m terrible at knowing what to say or how to console someone myself, especially when I was someone that had never really experienced grief and loss during my formative or adult years.

    However, my Dad died suddenly this past February and I realized (maybe this is just me) that the best thing in those situations is for people to just be there to hug, hold, and listen; the “generic” condolences/affection and gifts (food, flowers) do go a long way too. There were also times where I didn’t want to see anyone, or hear anyone talk, or respond to calls/texts, though.

    Don’t worry too much about what to say. Let her know you’re there for her whenever she needs to talk, cry, scream, yell, be held, whatever. Share any positive/funny stories or memories you may have of them. Be understanding and don’t take any mood swings or harsh reactions personally. Accommodate her in any way that may help ease stress right now or take her mind off things. And if she isn’t already, I’d highly recommend therapy.

    Condolences to her and you.
     
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  8. Jbent

    Trusted

    Thank you very much for the advice and kind thoughts, sorry about your father too.

    I agree that support while grieving is incredibly essential to coping with loss, however large or small a gesture it may be.

    Humbling though, such a whirlwind. Healthy & safe end of the year everyone
     
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  9. oldjersey

    Pro Podcaster Supporter


    This is so awful to hear, especially during a truly horrific year for everyone. I would also bring up seeking some form of therapy and professional help. Just bring it up, in my experience it's never good to push someone hard to go to therapy.

    I've shared my experience on here before with others, my father died unexpectedly while i was in active addiction, he just had to fire me from his company 6 months beforehand and we were not on good terms when he passed. My absolute saving grace was that we did talk 3 days before he passed and mended the bridge a bit. I was completely devastated when it happened. My other saving grace was entering rehab two months after and having the right people to talk to (therapy but also 12 step work in my situation). Having the right people to be fully transparent with followed by the input I received was the only reason I was able to properly grieve and move forward.

    Your S/O really needs that person or several people to be completely transparent with. Like @jkauf said, I wouldn't be worried about saying the right things, just be there to listen and support. I think finding any kind of normalcy in these situations is extremely helpful, whether that is going to do something 'normal' or just having a regular fun conversation.


    I'm no professional at all, I just have my personal experience and have worked in drug/alcohol rehabs for years and have spoken with/tried to help people who have all types of trauma. I think universally the most vital thing for everyone is to be able to open up completely with at least one person, of course it's important that person is qualified to listen and give feedback. (For recovery it's one sober addict helping another)

    Like I said, when you feel comfortable just mention it and plant the seed, she may or may not be open to it. Absolutely everyone grieves differently and there is no formula or timeline for it. My heart goes out to you and your S/O, losing my dad was the worst thing to ever happen to me, it's been over 5 years and I still cry about it. Add losing a sibling and I just can't fathom it. Just know there is a path your S/O can walk to heal from it and even become stronger than she ever has before.
     
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  10. Jbent

    Trusted

    I appreciate that @oldjersey honestly means a lot to me. I haven't drank alcohol or used hard drugs for 6 years this March as I too am an addict and have had many opportunities through therapy, legal troubles and rehabs/programs to deal with my issues, which I am so thankful for. I understand well that there is no clear-cut or perfect way to help somebody going through hell. Part of me is certain she will be ok she's tough as shit, but the louder part of me is fucking hurting having to watch it up close
     
  11. oldjersey

    Pro Podcaster Supporter

    Oh you're sober too! Wonderful, I apologize if I went overboard with advice, this is just one of the few areas on this website I feel very comfortable discussing and giving my point of view on.
     
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  12. Jbent

    Trusted

    No way, your insight is very helpful and I appreciate the fact you took the time to respond and articulate something that was hard for you, seriously.

    Not trying to come off as "woe-is-me" but I'm sure you know what I mean when I say, I got no friends, lol like at all which I'm completely at peace with. Whether it was my choice or theirs I've had to sever basically every relationship along the way. So in these times it's just strange to have to rely on my own head to steer me in the right direction
     
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  13. oldjersey

    Pro Podcaster Supporter

    I get it, for me all of my friends are a thousand miles away in NJ so I use people i've met on here for a lot of my social interaction these days, especially right now when I really do nothing besides work and go food shopping. I don't think you did anything wrong it's just one of the realities of entering your 30's.
     
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  14. Mary V Dec 1, 2020
    (Last edited: Dec 1, 2020)
    I don’t miss people, I feel like a monster just admitting it. I thought that living through the pandemic would force me to miss people but I still don’t. What’s wrong with me?
     
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  15. oldjersey

    Pro Podcaster Supporter

    Besides my mom who's 1000 miles away, @Mary V, me either.
     
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  16. It’s a relief to be seen and understood. Thank you for posting this

    I haven’t seen my boyfriend in a year and I just feel... nothing. That feels worse than missing someone so much it hurts. I love him, he makes me happy and I don’t want to live without him, but I don’t miss him like he misses me. That isn’t right, is it? I don’t know if it’s a subconscious protective barrier to avoid getting hurt or if I’m cold or if there’s something wrong with me.
     
  17. oldjersey

    Pro Podcaster Supporter

    Hm, for me I think I've found a very unhealthy comfort in being isolated from everyone and not needing to get anxious or even think about potential plans, or turning down plans, or doing things I don't want to do. It's a much easier and simple life for me but it's awful for my psyche. I have felt extremely indifferent to a lot of things in my life recently and I am extremely consumed by myself and shortcomings.

    I think while having a legitimate crisis with yourself, it's really hard to show compassion or affection past a certain level with others, no matter what their status is with you.

    Me and my ex decided it's best to just be friends and roommates last month, that's all we have been the past 6 months. We are both struggling mentally and thank God we have each other so we are not alone The past few months I just didn't have it in me to show her affection, like it just isnt in me for it to be genuine. I love her a ton, but I am so just concerned about myself for legitimate reasons it's hard to act 'like I should' with a significant other right now
     
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  18. colorlesscliche

    Trusted Prestigious


    Sorry to hear that, bud. Hope you're doing alright.
     
    oldjersey likes this.
  19. eight30

    Regular

    I feel like I can relate a lot to the recent posts. I barely want to make an effort to see anyone even with how seldom it is I see anyone (safely). It just doesn’t feel worth the effort anymore. Idk.
     
  20. phaynes12

    https://expertfrowner.bandcamp.com/ Prestigious

    have been having awful anxiety the last two weeks for no real reason that's giving me chest pain and heartburn. going to get tested for COVID friday. i have a feeling it's just anxiety causing similar symptoms, rather than COVID causing all three but without cough, runny nose, etc. all the other symptoms. but we'll see in a week or so I guess.

    wish I knew what the cause/reason for the frequency of the anxiety is. in the past when I've had it, it's more focused on a specific thing that's easy for me to address, whereas this is the first time where it's more generalized and intense, with my normal ways of addressing it aren't working at all. fucking sucks.
     
  21. iCarly Rae Jepsen

    run away with me Platinum

    it's definitely hard to talk to and relate to people beforehand but especially now when it's like what is there to talk about I'm sad angry and anxious because the government is letting people die and no one realizes or cares
     
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  22. TSLROCKS

    Trusted Supporter

    Yea, it's actually kind of relieving to see other struggling with similar issues. I try to stay out of this thread for the most part given my own personal demons with stress and anxiety but a few days ago I sort of felt like the walls were coming down and found some solace in this thread and seeing some of these comments.

    I feel like pieces of myself are slowly just drifting by the wayside - I don't know when it started but look back at who and what I was 2/3/4 years ago and who I am now and realizing how much this whole situation has actually effected me and my own headspace. Every day these days feels like a struggle to get through but learned a long time ago to take it one day at a time and control only what you can control.

    I just keep reiterating that last point to myself over and over and over again and just focus on the task on hand but hoping we can all find a bit of peace over the coming weeks. Just trying to make it to the end of the year without a breakdown but I can certainly use a vacation
     
  23. Carmen SD

    Trusted

    Anyone ever have auditory hallucinations? Not like “hearing voices” sort but you hear things that may or may not actually be happening. That’s the best way I can explain it. I don’t know how to deal with it
     
  24. Driving2theBusStation Dec 2, 2020
    (Last edited: Dec 2, 2020)
    Driving2theBusStation

    Regular

    Hopefully that the side effects of these medications won't be permanent.
     
  25. phaynes12

    https://expertfrowner.bandcamp.com/ Prestigious

    i feel a little silly not putting the pieces together until now but i started feeling the anxiety and other symptoms a little over a week ago on the anniversary of my mom dying. feels pretty safe to say that it’s more tied to that than COVID. still gonna get a test friday, but yeah.