Mental Health Thread • Page 332

I’m really struggling to look after myself

 

I’m so burnt out on everything

 

wish I could sleep the day away but it’s too hot so I’m crying instead

 

I love you and sorry you're struggling

 

I love you too and i know things will get better but with the state of everything right now and depression kicking my ass I just feel utterly hopeless

 

Need to go to the pharmacy and pick up my meds (NP upped the dosage), but it's gross outside and I want to crawl back into bed.

 

I want to get back into therapy but I just can’t go through the period when I don’t trust them / we’re working on gaining rapport; I start to open up and then they refer me to “someone who can work better” with my issues again

 

I've only had two sessions with mine so far and as I've never done this before, I don't have anything to compare my experience to. Not much has happened these first two sessions really.

She did say something that annoyed me though. I mentioned I had tattoos and had gotten them recently and she suggested that perhaps they could have played a part in my physical issues. Now that didn't make much sense to me, but it was now a thought stuck in my head. Thankfully I had the appointment a couple hours later with the nurse practitioner over whether my meds were working and I decided to ask. She was like an emphatic no, but did say she wondered if the way I described getting them made my therapist wonder if I was potentially bi-polar but that's not how my therapist worded it. (NP also said as she's trained to look for signs of bi-polar, I do not exhibit them).

So I was left feeling annoyed that if I hadnt had the two appointments on the same day that my therapist, albeit unintentionally, would have caused me to be anxious about this thing. It's a minor thing likely, just was weird.

 

I’m also feeling like I need to get back into therapy but can’t imagine going about starting that process right now.

 

While it's a little weird doing video calls, part of me likes it. I'm home where I'm most comfortable, rather than somewhere strange that would make me anxious.

 

yeah I started doing therapy again in March because I couldn't function , it's kinda weird that I haven't seen my new therapist face to face and who knows if and when I will but less leaving the house is always good

 

I'm so tired of feeling better for a while then just spiralling all over again

 

I've been trying hard to change my mindset regarding my weight. I've always been thin and petite and have struggled with self image issues and kinda thrived off people commenting on my size. Now that I've gained weight I've had to rethink a lot about my identity. I'm going to try and use this as an opportunity to learn how to like my body at any size and focus more on health and feeling good. I'm hoping to break down the really harmful thought patterns I have around my weight and hope to grow from it. Idk we'll see. it's been a rough last few months

 

Not having anything to look forward to is really messing with me this week. I’d normally be excited for sports to come back but returning now is so ill-advised I can’t even look forward to that. Fear and anxiety of getting sick and dying is still the biggest problem I’m having with all of this but fuck the monotony is getting to me.

 

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow morning to check on my blood pressure and I’m beyond nervous. They’re obviously taking precautions, only letting a certain number of people in, and screening at the door but I’m still anxious as hell. Of course my blood pressure will be high because of how stressed I’ll be. I’m also going to ask my doctor about finding a therapist and I’m anxious about that on top of it all. I’m sure I’ll be fine but I can already tell it’s going to be a sleepless night.

 

while it sucks now, afterwards you'll feel better (I hope).

 

I’ll definitely feel better after I get it over with as long as I don’t get sick of course. Taking solace in the fact that my mom works at a doctor’s office screening people and she’s been fine so far. I haven’t really been around people aside from grocery shopping so it’ll be a little nerve-wracking. Planning to get myself an iced matcha latte from my favorite coffee shop that does curbside afterwards so just trying to look forward to that and finally finding a therapist.

 

I've been to a doctor's office four times since everything locked down where i am and they've always been really good, making sure to take your temperature and provide me with a fresh mask and hand sanitizer. never felt unsafe. though i can understand others worrying about it of course.

 

This is good to hear, I really appreciate the reassurance! I think once I’m past the initial feeling of apprehension it’ll be ok and luckily the state I’m in is doing relatively ok compared to others.

 

No problem, it can be nervewracking and i'm glad i can provide some usefulness haha.

 

I will say adopting a cat has helped immensely, just having something to care for and to have physical contact with. She’s the absolute sweetest too.

 

I’m just wanting to vent. Not looking for a response because I probably won’t respond back, I also don’t really check back here.

My BDD is bad right now. that date I had, he doesn’t want to see me again. After months of talking, and then meeting only to hear a “no connection” makes me feel like it was my looks. I can understand if we only chatted for a few weeks, but months makes this feel different. So that wanting to hangout again was a lie. Figured. I know many will say “that’s life” and how online dating is. But if you knew my situation, you’d see things a little differently. Yes that is how online dating is, but to low key flirt and sound interested over conversation, then not upon meeting you lost interest is more of a superficial thing to me. I’m sure many of us had experienced that ourselves where you like their personality but wasn’t physically attracted to them when you saw them irl. That’s also what I get for trying to do long distance. Never again. It’s not easy for me to find someone that interests me to begin with.
As the days go by, I get more insecure. I’m more worried about my looks each day. I won’t get better looking unless I get my laser treatment done which I can’t afford rn. And even then it will help my face and not my body. So part of me feels like what’s the point.

My ex really destroyed me. I feel destroyed beyond repair. Because I am so damaged I have these thoughts. A lot of feelings I cannot put into words. I hate myself more and more each day. I’m more lonely than I was before him. I’m more afraid of the future each day. Because of my health issues, I need someone. Without someone I’ll have to just suffer in pain and die. I wish I can give a detailed explanation but I can’t. My health issues can cause multiple major surgeries and without insurance and a partner that won’t happen. I’m just going to stop. I rather die than be alone. Not sure how much longer I can take this.