Mental Health Thread • Page 331

I feel this big time. I hope it goes well!

 

This site takes such a toll on my mental health

 

Rough times for me lately. My wife and I are separating but still living together for the time being because it just makes the most sense all around. It's tough though. I'm the one who really wants to end things, and I think she's really holding onto hope that things will work out in the end. I'm pretty confident that they will not. We've done counseling and honestly I'm just a totally different person than I was when we got married and that's not going to change. We still hang out and eat dinner at home together and everything, but I'm wondering if that's healthy or not. It's fine for me, but again I feel like she's holding onto hope and is hanging out together contributing to that? She tells me that she wants to be friends but I don't know if that's just her trying to not give me up completely.

I finally start nursing school in the fall after three years of slowly working through the prereqs. It's very exciting but at the same time I'm struggling to find motivation for anything. I'm letting bills pile up even though I have the money in my account to pay them. I feel like when I'm at work I'm such a fun person, a strong leader, work harder than almost anyone, but then I come home, start drinking/smoking, and feel like a pile of shit. I'm mostly just ready to get all of this behind me and start fresh. But it's tough right now.

 

I wish you well and hope things work out for the best. just keep moving forward

 

I just really really really really really don’t want to be alive

 

I came in here to write something but honestly this kind of sums everything up.

Like, I have put on a bit of weight over the last two years due to comfort eating/drinking, and have also noticed attitude changes in myself like being quick to anger and also a general lack of motivation to do anything and I really need to start making some changes. I'm 27 and like, it feels like I should be doing better than this really.

 

As I’ve grown older I’ve realized how much my mom emotionally manipulated me and it basically changed my way of thinking, not for the better. Now I’m seeing this same pattern with my 18 yo sister who is almost a decade younger than me and still lives at home. I hate it and I wish I could just drag her out of this shitty situation.

 

Been feeling this hard the last couple of days too. Hang in there.

 

Just when I thought I couldn’t get any lower, I have! It’s impossible for me to make my life better when I’m probably a year away from even having a life.

 

Sending positive thoughts to everyone in here. I know the state of affairs right now with this virus and the conditions quarantine bring are affecting everyone, especially those who live with mental health issues. The last week or so I have been having severe death anxiety, fear of the future, and obsessive thoughts of everyone i know and love passing away from the virus before I can see them again and I haven't been able to eat, sleep, or focus at work. I just want to feel not exhausted for at least a day.

 

My fear of death has been off the charts for the last week or two. I keep accidentally sending myself spiraling based on the smallest outside thought and it’s been hard to get out of those moments. I’m sorry you’re going through the same thing, especially since it’s compounding into messing up your sleep and health otherwise. The recent weeks where I couldn’t sleep were the lowest I’ve been through this whole experience. I really hope you can feel rested soon.

 

if it helps we're all in the same boat

 

My work today announced people will sadly have to be made redundant. I don't think that I am at risk, but I guess you never know.

Luckily, even those who are made redundant won't be made so until October because that is when the furlough scheme runs out here in the UK, and it costs the business nothing to keep them on it. Gives people time to prepare or try and find something new, and the market time to try and recover.

It really hasn't helped my already very strained mental outlook...

 

Hit me up if you need something/I can help in any way.

 

Thanks mike it means a lot. I probably will take you up on that soon.

I FaceTimed my mom after work and her and my dad and little brother were going to drive out here for a short socially distanced weekend visit before the second spike hit. she and my dad dont feel safe to do so now, which I am happy they’re taking it seriously, but after we got off the phone I broke down and cried for over an hour tonight.

 

Love to you all

 

I’ve just had the dreaded email to discuss “my role” with HR.

ps furlough scheme starts costing companies money from August gradually increasing to October.

 

Yeah you're right, although I do believe that my boss said they won't make anyone redundant until then.

If I lose my job I'm already coming to terms with doing any job I need until I find another in my field.

I hope it all works out for you!

 

Damn I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah, def reach out at any point.

 

Still in rehab like I told this thread earlier and I love it here, but I'm still concerned about all the triggers in the outside world. We went mini golf as an outing on Sunday and the first thing I noticed was all the alcohol sales. It's literally going to follow me everywhere, especially here in Colorado and I'm trying to get used to the fact that I won't be able to avoid it, I'll just have to get used to the fact that it's there. The plan is to try like hell to stay strong this time.

I know enough about the damage I have done to my liver to hopefully take it seriously this time, but addiction is a nasty thing that a lot of people don't understand. "Why don't you just drink less if you think you have a problem?" is the question my friends and family used to ask. Unfortunately it's way easier said than done for us addicts.

 

While I'm glad that I'm getting my anxiety under control and the physical symptoms have abated, fuck if depression hasnt stepped its ugly ass forward and coughed, saying remember me? ugh.