Mental Health Thread • Page 33

Got my first email from my thesis advisor. It's starting to get really real -- I will officially be pitching my pilot idea in 19 days and I can't even begin to process this. I'm honestly just so worried about how to manage the stress with this semester, I have so many important classes to pass. I definitely need to try to make it to a therapist on campus.

 

As an update she just filed a motion to get an extension/reduction of fees for the social study and to get me to pay child support until a final decision is made, but hopefully the judge isn't having that

 

I opened up to my partner about my mental health and it got miscommunicated so she ended up shutting it down with her own experiences. I told her about it and she apologised but the entire situation has just made me feel so shitty and ashamed.

 

I feel emotionally exhausted today. Too little going well for me right now, too much stress, too little socializing. Plus I put way too much stock in dating, which hasn't been going well for me.

 

Today my hard drive was fried from a weird, bright and sunny day power outage. I lost three and a half years worth of music I had been working on and was almost done with. Stupid things just keep happening to me non-stop and my depression keeps getting worse as a result. That project/hobby was the only thing I've really had in the face of my health issues and unemployment. I have my girlfriend, but I still only see her once a week. Now I have six days a week where I'm going to be stuck alone with nothing but my thoughts.

 

yo guys. broke up with girlfriend of 4 years and i am super sad but also super relieved and happy to be free. we are totally like nice to each other and it was mutual and i'm moving out and seeing a therapist. this was a really shitty thing that turned into a really good thing and i'm hyped.

 

For When Your Only Thought Is Suicide

 

Been going to therapy more consistently now than I ever have in my life. It feels good, but also puts me in a place where I further question everything I do/think/say/want. Depression and anxiety have a way of making my mind and feelings seem really unreliable. I'd go into detail, but it seems too candid. The best way to describe it is that every thought I have is countered by a reason not to do it and I seem to be consistently torn between making decisions that are "less bad than the other" in my mind rather than confidently doing much of anything. Not sure when I became this way, but it sucks.

 

I am sooooooo lonely. I've been like this for just over 2 years now, since university ended. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes. I literally wish the ground would open up and swallow me. The only people I've spoken to in person this year are my parents. I know there are people with worse problems than me but I don't know how much more of this I can take.

 

I know how you feel. I have very few people to talk to or spend time with. Which I guess is why it hits me so hard when dating doesn't work out and why I vent on this site so much about my problems.

 

Thanks for sharing this.

 

Thank you for posting this. Much appreciated.

 

Gonna out my insecurities. We'll call my sister K cause I'm weird. Today this woman I barely know from my brother in law's family came up to me and said "you know the time we ran into you? My daughter saw you and said 'K's sister is so beautiful!'" I guess she urged her daughter to tell me but she was too shy. And not gonna lie y'all I almost cried. Like growing up I had a huge complex with my sister being beautiful and popular while I was not cute and super awkward and shy and miserable. I'd have strangers come up to me to tell me how hot she was all the time and awkward compliments from family where she's always so beautiful and im... smart or nice. And I hate to admit it but anytime I'd introduce a guy to my family I'd dread it because I didn't want them to know they got with the "ugly" sister. It's just this psychological thing I've decided to torture myself with most of my life. It kinda blew my mind that someone could see me with my sister and even notice me let alone think I was beautiful. It's kinda sad lol but it was something I'd never even considered happening and it made me feel really amazing to hear it.

 

Omg! That's terrifying. glad you're ok and hope everyone else is doing well. I can't even imagine

 

Glad you're okay ! I don't even know how I'd handle that

 

That's really fucked up. Glad you're ok.

 

Thank you so much. Seriously.

 

I see you post a lot about feeling this way but for whatever an internet stranger's opinion is worth, it's totally in your head!

 

thanks bb!

I think it used to be a lot worse just because I had a BAD awkward phase as a middle schooler where I hadn't really come into my own and I had body image issues so I wore frumpy clothes, had braces and glasses, and had really bad acne and tried to hide my face all the time. I was super depressed also and didn't have good coping skills and I hid most of my personality from everyone and felt very trapped. Anyway, I think I sorta came into my own eventually but those stupid lingering feelings are so hard to shake. Thanks for saying that tho cause it means a lot

 

You're welcome! My confidence in my looks fluctuates a lot as well, which is why I'm always complaining about my hair on here, lol

 

haha curly hair is the best hair but I know it's a pain!

 

My best friend broke up with his girlfriend, and that's a good thing for him because the relationship had become unhealthy over the years and reached a breaking point so I'm happy that he'll be free from all that stress and anxiety.

But his girlfriend had also become one of my best friends too once they started dating, we grew really close and the three of us would hang out all the time and have these great movie nights. She was who I turned to a few weeks ago when I had gotten so low I was considering going back to therapy and starting on antidepressants. So now I can't help but feel really sad that I'm losing a friend too, which is selfish of me with all that my best friend is going through. It just sucks to lose a close friend.

 

Can feel a panic attack rising to the surface but it's 1 am and have no one to turn to hahaha it's fine everything's fine

 

yo here's some sick help for anyone struggling that my friend told me today: even if no one cares about you, you still care about you

 

Well I'm screwed cause I disagree lol