Discussion in 'General Forum' started by AelNire, Mar 9, 2016.
I absolutely feel that right now
I keep breaking down at work. I feel so alone. And I know when the quarantine is over I will still feel like this. It’s just getting harder to get through each day. I feel so hopeless. I’m seeing a therapist now and have been for a few months and I just don’t feel like it’s helping at all.
I feel bad just liking some of the posts in here, so I just wanted to say I'm really sorry to everyone going through all of this. I know things have been extra rough for a lot of us lately, and I just hope you all know you are seen and loved and not alone. ❤
Not having a very good night. My ex is basically a horrible person and it’s sad to see that’s how he turned out. It makes me afraid to date again because I lost the ability to trust because of him. He was someone that I thought I’d never find and now this. I don’t know if I can ever believe someone’s intentions. My mind has restored to negative thoughts constantly how I’m never good enough etc. That I always get left for the same “type” of person. I can’t be who they want me to be because of my health/medical issues. It hurts. I’m done hurting. I found old journal passages for 10-20 years ago where I feel the same, only now I keep feelings worse. My kitty is the only thing that’s keeps me going. There are many times where I wish I could have done myself in 15 years ago so I wouldn’t be in pain. But I always hope that “it gets better” only for it not to and continue to get worse.
Weird how lonely I feel completely depends on the day even though there isn't much to differentiate the days at the moment. Today is a bad day
It’s been bad this weekend. My anxiety is through the fucking roof over a health issue likely caused by the anxiety. Super fucking fun. Gonna try and make an appointment this week with my doctor to get it figured out. I’m going insane.
I hope you can get it sorted soon.
I don’t know if it’s actually happening more often now or if I’m just noticing it more because I have so much time on my hands, but I am CONSTANTLY getting stuck in cycles of remembering awkward or embarrassing moments from years or decades ago and fixating on them for long periods of time. Generally I’ve been holding up ok the last few weeks, but this stuff has been really getting to me.
This whole quarantine thing is just seriously murder on mental health. I thought I’d handle it better than I have — granted some shitty life stuff has happened along the way but still. Mostly it’s just made me realize how alone I am.
hate when that happens thankfully that hasn't happened to me in a while
The worst part of this for me isn’t the isolation, it’s seeing people not taking this seriously or deciding they’re bored with it so it’s time for things to go back to “normal”. I am not going to be comfortable seeing friends, going to shows, eating out, etc for a LONG time even after we get this under control. So help me if I get sick and die because someone I crossed paths with in the grocery store had to get their haircut or go to the beach.
Gotta Love still being awake 5 hours after going to bed lol I envy people who can just lay down in bed and pass out instantly so much
it really fucking sucks.
I feel you. I was up until 5am yesterday and couldn’t sleep at all last night, wound up napping midday but shit sucks.
Realised just how much less tolerant I am of the people that like to be shitty to others for fun/likes on here when I'm in a real bad place, my block list has tripled in the last month lol. I really don't need that negativity in my life right now.
i think the first time in maybe weeks (or months?) that I was actually able to start feeling something again. Feel like I've been faking it for a while now. i felt really horrible this week and was just drained physically, mentally and emotionally so I took a break from work but I think it allowed me to finally start flushing out the bad somehow. I've started enjoying music again instead of just having sounds in my ears to not let dread fill up that silence/empty space.
i mostly lurk here, and only post when something nice happens. i found out it's less therapeutic for me to write while i'm bummed out, but it does help me reading posts here and knowing i'm not alone so i hope people keep sharing their stories. appreciate it a lot and i hope y'all feel better.
and a lot of very frustrating opinions out there right now. it's so hard not to feel frustrated and disappointed
My doctor prescribed me a sleep med and for the first time I can remember I actually slept through the night. So happy I want to cry
I guess this is mental health related. My care job, the state is testing all residents and staff for covid. If anyone is positive (guessing positive asymptomatic since no one has shown symptoms and we isolate everyone that has returned from ER), they’re locking down 14 days, 12 hour shifts. You literally have to return to the facitilty and isolate there. This increases my anxiety so much because no one wants to be isolated there plus the place is dated so it doesn’t give off a clean feel or appearance no matter how well you clean. My boss is letting me bring my cat if it comes down to it because I have no one to take care of him
Edit: I’m also suppose to go back to my other job real soon
I miss normal life so much
I'd like to believe I've been making progress on not being so anxious, but I'm not sure the physical issues have abated much which just makes me feel anxious. i have an appointment with a psychiatrist to get a prescription to handle my anxiety, but that's not until the middle of June.
Part of me is still considering going to stay with my parents for a little while, but i worry about catching corona while on an airplane and then giving it to my parents.
Just gonna keep on trying to relax and hope that reducing my anxiety lessens the physical issues. i miss how things used to be for me before the anxiety took the fuck over.
i feel very weird just coming in here and liking posts. i hope yall know they are support/"i am here for you" likes.
i don't really post in here because i hate committing my feelings to text or something so permanent because that means i can reflect on them later. im really struggling with quarantine sending me back into old habits. i was on such a hot streak with my routine before this and now with all this extra time im slipping into a much less productive state.
in two weeks i get back in classes (online obv) to finish my degree though. hoping that's the catalyst to get back on track in some other areas.
Things have been really hard lately.
suicide ideation at an all time high
i have like a mountain of love for you amber! i only have a small idea of what's going on for you right now but i always welcome talking to you about anything
Struggling with this too. I wish you all the best. I really do.
My best friend got in a serious car accident last week and today, I found out that he was dead for 8 minutes and had a stroke on the way to the hospital so the right side of his body is paralyzed, on top of his other injuries. I’m just devastated about this and I don’t know how to process all this. He’s more than a friend, he’s basically my brother because we’re that close. I’m beyond thankful he’s still alive but it breaks my heart this is happening to him. Plus, I can’t go see him due to COVID-19 so that makes it worse.
My heart wants to give up on dating. Every time I think about going on a date or even dating my BDD gets worse. The guy I’ve been chatting with is a terrible texter and so was my ex, and it just triggers bunch of negative thoughts and feelings. I never feel good enough. I never feel attractive enough. I shouldn’t feel this way at my age, but I do and it’s pathetic. Thinking about opening up about my trauma terrifies me because I never met someone who’d understand. I’m terrified to get close to someone again. I’m terrified for someone to even get to know me. There are simple questions that I’m not ready to answer. My gut tells me I’m suppose to suffer here on earth. My gut has always been right. A large part of me wants to fall asleep and never wake up.