Mental Health Thread • Page 319

I know it absolutely doesn’t help as much as having someone physically around, but there are definitely tons of people here who value your presence and feel connected to you, even if the pain makes it hard to see and believe that now. When trauma piles up on top of itself in a seemingly endless way it’s unbearable and I hate that you’re going through that scenario.

 

The last couple weeks have been such a mess, both physically and mentally. Had a health issue crop up, largely buoyed by my stress and anxiety, that made me go visit a doctor this past weekend. I seem to be turning a corner, but it made me realize how isolated I've felt during this whole shelter in place ordeal. I've had next to no face-to-face interaction with anyone outside of the doctor and nurse practitioner I spoke with on Saturday. I don't really have any family or friends nearby, not that you can really see them, but it makes me feel jealous when I'm out exercising and I see people walking and talking together...

I spend most of my time being happy with text and voice chats with people, but the second I have a health issue or anxiety attack, it lets me know how alone I am. It's no fun tossing in turning in your bed wishing you had someone you could sit with and break down what's going on.

 

Thank you. It’s hard to feel that way when I’ve expressed my pain a lot in the past ~24 hours (for this in particular) and feel that it’s been largely ignored. I get that everyone has their own issues they are dealing with. But it definitely doesn’t make me feel valued at all.

 

I’m sorry that happened too. I know I’ve personally been in a place where I’ve been skimming more in general or posting less often because I get caught up in doing something else or just can’t think of the right words. Even in this thread I might not always be able to put together a thought at the time someone posts, although I am trying to put in the effort here specifically because of how many of us aren’t doing so well.

I wish I had something more helpful to say or try to help with for you. I do still need to take pictures of my NSYNC stuff....

 

I’m really sorry you’re hurting

like @EASheartsVinyl said you are definitely loved by lots of people here, myself included
hug your kitty extra tightly things will get better

 

I'm sorry that happened but you should never let another person dictate whether you live or die. you deserve to live and to be happy and I hope you realize that. things will get better. you are loved by myself and many others. be well

 

i saw a few posts, but i feel kind of shitty "liking" a sad/upset post, I'm not a feelings/comfort/words person, and i'm not at that level of closeness a lot of you have with each other, so i just don't know what to say. i really admire how you all are so open, though. maybe one day i'll get there.

 

I mean yeah ideally ha and it’s not at all just him, I was feeling this way before this like I said. He was just literally my last light and now he’s gone. I can’t conceptualize things getting any better in the future bc at the end of the day we still live in a misogynistic racist classist capitalist fatphobic society so likeeee. Idk.

 

i'd say liking a post helps that person know someone acknowledges the post even if they don't have anything to say--letting them know they're heard. Least that's why i like a post that might not be happy.

 

I’m very very very very bad with abandonment (and that’s one of the reasons I’ve always suspected I have BPD) so I’m just feeling out of my mind. Like I can’t stop crying in a way I’ve never cried before. I feel like I’m not even in my own body. I feel like huge parts of me are missing. And I feel like I’m drowning in the dark.

 

well, I'm sorry. I was simply trying to be kind and hopefully offer some helpful words. sorry if they weren't so helpful to you right now. I'm here if you ever need me

 

Well, now that I have my own place, I finally took my cat from my ex. I wanted to give him a letter of how he made feel (basically my reflection of the relationship and how when I looked back he didnt seem to care about me etc, and lied to me the whole time), but I decided against it at last min, because last time he just belittled me and told me I need to go to therapy to "get over it" which I thought was a fucked up thing to say. Someone expresses their feelings, and you have a negative response. I've been chatting with that one guy and hope we can meet soon.

 

glad to hear you're doing better

 

Thanks. I think I am doing better. I still hurt. But I think ever since I got my main job (which because of the virus I haven't been able to work unfortunately) I've noticed I've been more focused. I still don't like to talk about it. I just hope my cat adjusts ok.

 

Man, I just really wish I had someone I could get high, listen to music, and talk with right now. I haven't really had that since I was a teenager and I miss it so much. My anxiety hasn't been too bad lately, but I've just been feeling so low. It doesn't help that this Sunday is Mother's day and I've really been missing my mom.

 

just feel so isolated.

 

Saaame. One day/hour at a time boo

 

it can feel like whiplash -- one moment i'm fine, the next i just feel alone and can't stop crying, and then bam im fine again for a little while

 

I absolutely feel that right now

 

I keep breaking down at work. I feel so alone. And I know when the quarantine is over I will still feel like this. It’s just getting harder to get through each day. I feel so hopeless. I’m seeing a therapist now and have been for a few months and I just don’t feel like it’s helping at all.

 

I feel bad just liking some of the posts in here, so I just wanted to say I'm really sorry to everyone going through all of this. I know things have been extra rough for a lot of us lately, and I just hope you all know you are seen and loved and not alone. ❤

 

Not having a very good night. My ex is basically a horrible person and it’s sad to see that’s how he turned out. It makes me afraid to date again because I lost the ability to trust because of him. He was someone that I thought I’d never find and now this. I don’t know if I can ever believe someone’s intentions. My mind has restored to negative thoughts constantly how I’m never good enough etc. That I always get left for the same “type” of person. I can’t be who they want me to be because of my health/medical issues. It hurts. I’m done hurting. I found old journal passages for 10-20 years ago where I feel the same, only now I keep feelings worse. My kitty is the only thing that’s keeps me going. There are many times where I wish I could have done myself in 15 years ago so I wouldn’t be in pain. But I always hope that “it gets better” only for it not to and continue to get worse.

 

Weird how lonely I feel completely depends on the day even though there isn't much to differentiate the days at the moment. Today is a bad day

 

It’s been bad this weekend. My anxiety is through the fucking roof over a health issue likely caused by the anxiety. Super fucking fun. Gonna try and make an appointment this week with my doctor to get it figured out. I’m going insane.

 

I hope you can get it sorted soon.


I don’t know if it’s actually happening more often now or if I’m just noticing it more because I have so much time on my hands, but I am CONSTANTLY getting stuck in cycles of remembering awkward or embarrassing moments from years or decades ago and fixating on them for long periods of time. Generally I’ve been holding up ok the last few weeks, but this stuff has been really getting to me.