Mental Health Thread • Page 318

Omg I'm so proud of you @CobraKidJon !!!

 

living on your own is the best.

 

So in addition to everything else going on right now, we’re pretty sure that we have termites in the house. I have no idea if it’s a full blown infestation or just the swarm stage or whatever trying to build a new colony, but it has completely ruined any sense of safety and balance that I had going. The bugs themselves make my skin crawl all day, the damage they can cause is terrifying, and at the moment the idea of someone coming in to inspect is literally a nightmare.

I’ve been doing everything I possibly can to stay safe and healthy and avoid the virus, and that’s all about to go out the window and it makes me feel completely hopeless.

 

I just feel so worn down and everything seems to utterly hopeless. I had a whole rant I was gonna write that I was composing in my head as I failed to get more than like 5 hours of sleep for the nth day, but just don't even feel like that's worth wasting my time on.

everything sucks and i just don't see what's the point in continuing on. i really fucking dont.

 

Every single night I think about how I don’t want to wake up and experience another day

 

Same, and I dont think I realized how much I normalize that thought until I read this. Like it's probably not normal to dread every coming day. Huh.

 

i don't mind this staying at home. my social anxiety has spent my whole life preparing for this. but my depression has taken a turn. i think it has to do with my five year anniversary of being clean from cutting recently. i know that's a good thing (though it's just one form of self-harm i'm clean of). but my head is cycling recently. i don't know if that's even it but i went from doing above average i guess to not so good at all. i stayed up until 8:30a yesterday and slept until after 6p. i am up now at 5:30a and know i should go to bed but can't get myself to.

 

just feel like my anxiety and depression continue to ramp up more and more.

 

I can't even kill myself right lol

 

My therapist is starting her own practice where she's not gonna charge a copay. And she's going to partner with yoga instructors and ppl to do meditation and stuff that's free for clients so you can get like a well rounded mental health. So excited!!

 

Every single time I get a friend, they all marry right wing nut jobs who turn them into right wing nut jobs and it's awful. My friend is trying to say you shouldn't vote for Biden bc he's creepy (which yes, obviously he is and I totally get why people would not want to vote for him bc I'm personally not voting for him) but thinks that means you should vote for Trump instead like wuttt???? and when I bring up how many women have accused Trump of sexual assault/rape she says it's just the media making it up. Like what in the actual fuck. Before she was married she was very progressive thinking and NEVER would have said this kinda shit. It's fucking sad and I'm sick of constantly watching my friends turn into these people bc they just get brainwashed by shitty men. I am not even exaggerating when I say this has happened to literally every friend I've had in the past like 5 or 6 years. I'm about to have a panic attack bc I hate conflict. Like I grew up in a household where there was no civil debate. It was just being screamed at and verbally abused by my dad so now my body just goes into like full terror mode any time I have any type of debate or argument with someone and it's awful. Then my brain goes like complete mush and I can't think of any of the right things to say and I just shake uncontrollably. I think I'm just deleting FB all together bc it's obviously not good for my mental health.

UPDATE: She is now saying women lie about it all the time and innocent until proven guilty. OMFG I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS. And now I'm being attacked by her whole family Like I guess since I have no proof that I was assaulted, I'm a fucking liar. I can't with these people. Like this is a really upsetting topic for me and it just sucks that I have no one. I'm so sick of having no one who even remotely thinks like me. Basically everyone in my life has terrible, horrible views except my mom. Like I try to open up about shit and just no one gets it at all and I feel like an angsty teen "no one understands me!!!" but fuck. I just want to pack up and move and not have to deal with these people anymore. It just weighs me down so much. Every family gathering is everyone being racist. All my friends turn out like this. I'm exhausted dealing with this shit every single day.

 

One year ago today I almost killed myself, and despite my friends saying “hey it’s gonna get better!”, here we are a year later where everything is worse lol

 

Yeah I don’t know how much I can say things will get better right now with a straight face, but I’m happy to know you now and definitely glad you’re still around. I guess the best I can hope for in my life is to get to a place of personally feeling healthier and stronger so I’m able to deal with all the awful in the world the best I can.

 

I miss everything so much
Friends, concerts, movies, fresh cooked comfort food etc...

 

I’m having a mental breakdown and I’m so alone.

 

i honestly don't remember the last night i got more than a couple hours sleep. Definitely not tonight, nor the previous night (none at all then actually), or the other recent nights. I fucking hate this.

 

I managed to sleep for maybe an hour lol

 

Wish i could pass out for a year. or forever.

 

This feels like the longest day ever

 

I'd give anything to be able to sleep tonight

 

I made that post like a week ago and now I’ve had two mental breakdowns since because life has fallen apart and everything is fun.

 

I was struggling so much last week
And then my significant other broke up with me yesterday
And quite frankly I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this
If it weren’t for my cat, and not having a future set up for him, I would already be gone
I’m in so much pain right now, and completely alone

 

I don't post a lot but I am on this site every day. If anyone wants to reach out at any time to talk about anything or nothing, my inbox is open. Hope that's not weird, just wanna be here for anyone, especially during this time.