Mental Health Thread • Page 317

My dad is a gamer and likes horror films so I get on well with him despite the fact that I despise football culture

 

So I'm on furlough at work and have been feeling down lately, and today I found out my mum has breast cancer.

Literally feels like everything is total shit right now. You ever just want to sleep for about a year?

 

I'm really sorry to hear all of this news. I wish your mum a speedy recovery. My long time family friend got it a while back and thankfully has fully recovered and leads a healthy life now. Here's to hoping your mother will experience the same!

 

I’ve been generally doing ok for the most part but I’ve had two major tragedies in different circles of friends this week and I have no idea how to process any of it when my mind is constantly on everything else falling apart in the world.

 

Thank you. She finds out the extent of it on Thursday after some more tests but I just worry about her as she lives on her own (other than the dog) and I know she probably has a lot of time to over think.

 

Everything just sucks

 

I feel a total disconnection with everyone in my life.

 

Robert, my inbox is always open. Cannot imagine what you’re going through now.

 

Really is amazing that no matter how bad it gets it can always get worse for me lately

Wish I could go back in time and tell 18 year old that he doesn't have it that bad lol

 

i just want to stop existing

 

glad you're here but I know the feeling

 

I kind of wish I was in a coma so that I wouldn't have to deal with anything and wake up one day and have everything be somewhat okay

But nah

 

Sorry everyone is having such a rough go at the same time. I’m happy you’re all around even if you aren’t right now.

 

Really wish I could sleep well--this is something I find completely falling apart in quarantine. I used to fall asleep around midnight and then wake up once around 4-5 and turn over and fall back asleep immediately (or within a few minutes). Not so much anymore and it really grates at me. Like the second I wake up my brain kicks into overdrive and either starts being anxious about something or feeling depressed. This morning I woke up and just wanted to curl up crying and I couldn't really identify why.

I've tried exercising more, meditating, and even using Calm (that sort of relaxes my mind but not enough). And sometimes I can't even identify why my brain is overthinking since my early worries (starting the new position at same company and other stuff) have so far proven unfounded. I guess I'm still just worried about other people out there surviving and when we might start seeing a light at the end of the tunnel and be turning toward returning to what we like to call "normalcy" and how that impacts the many people now unemployed.

I dunno. I just wish my brain could relax in the early morning, it's got all the rest of the day to freak out or be depressed.

 

I have pushed down my sadness about Adam’s trip getting cancelled but it’s the night before he would’ve arrived and it’s hitting me like a ton of bricks

 

you can look at rings online even if it's not the same so at least it's not a total bust, also sorry Mary long distance must be tough

 

thank you both. I’m sure we will look at rings online, but I really need to try them on because I have tiny fingers!

in a way, we’re quite lucky that we met online and began a relationship before we even met. We got used to distance and coping with missing each other. The only thing now is that everything is totally out of our hands and we don’t know when we’ll see each other again. Losing control is really hard for us

 

I will say that I came into this thread and only saw @Shakriel’s post quoting you @Mary V and I immediately assumed you guys broke up and got so sad for you
So even tho that really sucks I’m at least glad that it wasn’t that lol

 

But I originally came in here to vent about how I am feeling so much chaotic suicidal energy and it’s really really hard rn and then the voice in my head reminds me that the timing of it puts suspicion on my PMDD being the cause, which it so frequently is
And I honestly don’t know which is worse, feeling this way or not knowing if you actually feel this way or if it’s just your fucked up hormones and it’s not fair that I feel like I don’t have control over my own body/mind/feelings




But I guess that’s always been true as someone who’s been diagnosed with depression for 15 years

 

it’s kinda crazy it’s been a month since I started this crazy work schedule. I average between 45-60 hours a week and while the extra pay has been nice. It’s still been a nice reminder that I need to focus on school because I can still make more money to be able to handle life better.

it lowkey sucks having to do school right now because while some of my professors have been awesome and gave me homework extensions due to the pandemic and my work schedule. I have 3 essays due this week and it’s just like why can’t school be a little easier right now. I’m also trying to finish this semester with straight A’s so I’m hopeful.

idk I’m just kinda tired but also kinda bored. I got 5 weeks left of school so summer break should be nice but I’ll probably still be stuck on this long hours schedule because some people refuse to stay inside.

 

I forgot to mention that in a few months I’m going to be leaving the roommate life and starting my own life in apartments and hopefully with a cat as my pet so that’s the one thing keeping me going tbh. I’m doing it for my future cat.