My family doesn't really celebrate the religious aspect of Easter. I can't go over to my dad's for Easter dinner because I'm still working with the general public and my brother in law is immunocompromised. My sister said she'd save me a plate and a cupcake (she made homemade white cupcakes with lemon buttercream frosting and strawberry filling) so that's nice. Gonna be depressing to miss Easter with my nephew and not be able to get any closer than the front door tho. Missing him has been the hardest part of all this.
not a great mental health day. sort of isolated myself just due to feeling super depressed, which made me feel lonely, but at the same time I didn't really want to talk to anyone.
Seeing that my nephew is now fully walking and starting to really talk and not having any idea how much of his development I’ll miss out on from this has been incredibly hard. When his sister was that age we saw her at least once a month and certainly at all major holidays, but it’s just impossible to make those same memories now. He’s finally old enough where they can play with each other and she’s been dressing him up in her old princess costumes and adorable stuff like that, and it just kills me to only see pictures.
It definitely sucks. He has a new trampoline he's so excited about and I haven't gotten to see him jump. But today my sister posted a pic of him doing his online learning at the lil Spiderman desk I got him back for his birthday so that was nice.
Just continue to be super depressed these past few days. it's keeping me up, which sucks but isn't the end of the world because I don't have to be up early anymore. Started the new position at the same company. So far there doesn't seem to be a ton of work, which stresses me out, but there will be more in the future gauging from the conversations I've had. Just keeps a nagging thought in the back of my head that if we do eventually cut jobs, I'd definitely be the first to go. Finding myself crying over little things, moments in games that make me nostalgic, scenes in books/movies. Been isolating myself more than normal. Doing my best not to constantly check the news because that certainly doesnt fucking help because apparently no one in power is willing to do good for anyone but themselves.
I really dont know what to think of this right now. I decided to unghost a few friends the other day, and I got to talking with one of my besties a little bit, and she tells me her mom is going through treatment for pancreatic cancer. I was not expecting that at all. (Is anyone expecting that?) I've been in a complete mental fog the last day. I cant even imagine what she is going through. I'm over here complaining about money, and she can't even hug her mom right now. I also have no idea what to say to her, empthy has never really been in my wheelhouse
I feel like such an asshole cause it’s killing me I can’t see my GF even though she’s 20 minutes away. Even when my state lifts stay at home restrictions is it still ok to see her since she works in healthcare? Probably not cause I live with susceptible people. Ughhhhhh
It really sucks when you only have one person you feel like you can open up to emotionally and you’re having a really hard time right now and you open up to them about it and feel guilty and tell them that you feel guilt/pressure to be happy and fun for them bc they’re so unaffected emotionally and they just say yeah I mean I don’t want to dwell on the sad stuff It’s fine I can process all these emotions on my own I don’t need any support I will definitely survive this it’s fine
This thread is amazing, reading some of your stories have brung tears to my eyes. Pray everyone can find the strength during these times.
I feel so close to the end of my life lately and I really don't care. Not happy or sad, just nothing. What's it like to actually feel emotions.
I want to use this time off of work to get into more stereotypical male stuff to relate more to my family and coworkers. But I don’t like guns. I can’t get into sports now because they’re over. And I don’t know how to know shit about cars. Oh well, I guess I’ll get back to my Star Trek and comic books.
I relate to this all too well, the only sport I was into was football (soccer over in the US) but even then I’m not into it as much as my brothers or dad anyway. Back to video games for me haha
I have such anxiety around going to sleep and always have. It freaks me out being the only one in a house awake. And then it freaks me out that time is passing as it normally does but to my sleeping self it goes by really fast. Something about time going on around me while I'm unaware and vulnerable gives me so much anxiety.
I live on the first floor now and it's interesting. Definitely not as comfortable opening my windows. I think my sleep anxiety is mostly centered around me being a total control freak. I can't control things while I'm sleeping and my senses are like on hold. I feel like the bodies of the ppl in the matrix who just sit there vulnerable and can't like control their body while they're in the matrix lmao idk
I grew up never leaving my windows or even bedroom door open. For whatever reason I’m fairly comfortable doing that while living in apartments. sleeping is the only time (usually) when I’m not anxious! Haha
My dad is a gamer and likes horror films so I get on well with him despite the fact that I despise football culture
So I'm on furlough at work and have been feeling down lately, and today I found out my mum has breast cancer. Literally feels like everything is total shit right now. You ever just want to sleep for about a year?
I'm really sorry to hear all of this news. I wish your mum a speedy recovery. My long time family friend got it a while back and thankfully has fully recovered and leads a healthy life now. Here's to hoping your mother will experience the same!