Not like anyone cares or remembers me, but I haven't been well. Still can't sleep and still a mess. After being unemployed for a month during the holidays, I found a job...that I was lied to and fucked over again within a month. At the same time as I started that job, I took an "on-call" job because I have no trust anymore, and glad I did. Eventually I found something else, but now I just started that and now coronavirus shutting everything down, so I have to pick up shifts at my on-call job where I'm at risk with no hazard pay. Aside from the jobs thing, my ex took no time to move on, making me feel like I meant nothing, and everything was a lie-this also eating me alive. And because I had gotten fucked over by that one job during the holidays, I was no longer qualified for these low income apartments I was waitlisted for (actually called me and said I was next on the list). It literally seemed to have everything I needed, I guess I have to wait another year and get back on the list. Anyway, because I've been trying to get a place so I can take my cat from my ex (he wanted to keep the cat, will not let it!), I have to spend out the ass on rent- just got approved for an apartment. I needed this so I can take my cat and never speak to him again. He became someone I didn't think he'd be. I'm still damaged, but trying. I know I'll be alone for the rest of my life, and trying to live with it. The choice of guys in my town are still terrible and no one is serious about dating. Nothing I can do about that. So this is everything thats been going on lately.