me: constantly stresses out I am going to do bad in my classes also me: I see my scores and all my essays get A's and all my tests get A's and thinks HOW I am the worst sometimes
y'all are awesome and i hope today is a good day for you. stay positive. love eachother. we all need it.
I'm a mess and tired of fucking existing. just simply fuck everything. today was such a fucking dick punch of top of everything else. i cant handle the sudden emptiness of my apartment, but i'm not allowed out. just fuck everything.
seemingly no one giving a shit that Biden is a rapist is really getting to me rn, among all the other horrible things going on at the moment.
Just did a Zoom meeting with six of my kindergarteners. I haven’t seen them in about two weeks. I have tears in my eyes and I hardly ever cry.
I’ve been feeling a lot better now that I’m not spending my days reading about all the updates in relation to the virus. It’s important to stay informed, but I was becoming entirely too wrapped up in everything and it was severely impacting my depression which is already at an all time high. I’ve learned how important it is to try to take your mind off of things that are weighing so heavily on you.
This is a fascinating read highlighting the discomfort a lot of us are feeling. Honestly reading it feels helpful and makes me feel better about the situation. Thank you.
I keep thinking I’m holding it together pretty well but then when the tiniest little thing happens I burst into tears.
I can’t find a way to talk today. Everyone in the house keeps asking for my attention and I just don’t even look at them or say a word. This hasn’t happened before.
I truly do not know how I’m going to get through this quarantine living at my family’s house. It’s awful knowing that 5/6 of us would be fine in the house together, but my step dad is making it harder for everyone. I really hope this is eye opening for my mom.
I feel like I'm just a day or two away from having a complete mental breakdown. I mean, I've felt like that for like the last two weeks, but it's getting so hard trying to hold everything together.
I’m still surviving, but idk how I’ll be come June 10th which is my state’s new shelter in place order.
Everything is so bad all of the time and now the additional news/stress of my boss leaving abruptly and dumping everything into my lap with no lead time to prepare. I'm just sitting here just feeling both numb and completely freaked out. I'm not in a position to feel comfortable about this at all and don't know what to do.
Still surviving, but in a daze. Thank goodness for Animal Crossing to help wind me down, but I have to get groceries tomorrow and I'm fucking terrified. My stomach's been churning all day just thinking about it.
I totally understand how you're feeling and am the same way (including my love for Animal Crossing). If it helps, I found that going right when the store opened was beneficial for me. Went to Walmart at 7am on a Saturday, and while the place wasn't empty, it was far less crowded than when I went to another local store after work the week prior. Even found TP. At the least, that will slightly improve your chances of social distancing, and things will be as sanitary as they can be from the night before. I'm not a morning person by any means, and immediately went to bed when I got back home, but it was worth it to me. I had a full blown panic attack when I went to the local supermarket the week before because it was completely packed and I saw someone who looked ill. Tomorrow will be 14 days since then so I think I'm now safe from that interaction thankfully :/
Since the start of the confinement, I thought I had it all together. But now I'm having a hard time staying productive, if it even means anything in this climate, or even eating breakfast or just taking care of myself properly. I'm having weirdly nostalgic dreams too, which fucks me up even more. My uncle suddenly died of the virus two days ago. He had been living in a nursing home for a long time due to schizophrenia. The thing is, when my aunt told my mom and I, it's like I wasn't even in shock, I just got on with my day... barely able to emote. But then I just couldn't stop thinking about the fact he had no idea about what's going on, and kept asking his relatives why no one was coming to see him anymore. It feels like it's not hitting me fully all at once, but in irregular intervals. I haven't had the courage to call anyone in my family about it, and vice versa, not even my brother. We're not the most tight knit family, to the point, for the last few years, we've only all been together at funerals... which is depressing. I can't wait for all of this to be over.
I had one of the worst feeling fevers I’ve ever had in my life yesterday. Woke up today and feel just fine, physically. But I laid in bed panicking all day yesterday while I shivered under two blankets in full clothes that I would have to go to the hospital and then never get to see my girlfriend or family again. I know my girlfriend is already scared and this whole pandemic has heightened her anxiety a lot, so I’ve tried to not add more on but it was the most scared I’ve been through all of this and it was all I kept dreaming and thinking about yesterday and I’m worn out.