Finally got around to actually washing all of my laundry instead of just endlessly being like "oh i'll do it tomorrow". Often times i'd just to be too depressed and stressed to even bother, but i figured i'd at least be proactive about this. Small steps in the right direction.
Ok took some advice from my therapist to help me sleep. Got a humidifier with lavender going, bought new cotton sheets, made my bed, got earplugs. Only thing I couldnt do is laundry cause the dumb washing machine ate my quarters
ok, so the party on Saturday went okay. And I wasn't too anxious about the drive because we took a different route that had stops. :) Unfortunately, I felt a little worried about some of the things I had said or not said in the night afterwards, but generally speaking I think I did ok. Folks were entertaining and the hostess's house was huge and awesome! I was really tired afterwards though. The last few days my mood has been dropping. Think it might be ok now though because tonight I finally started working out again after a break (a mini break. like a week as opposed to longer breaks I've had which were like a year. eek!) I also got to play with my parents' kitties. That was fun!
Just a quick check in Had a pretty good day so feeling good. A little worried it won't last though, but hopeful for some restful sleep and some sweet dreams! Good night or day to you all!
Dealing with the post break up blues....I know it was for the best but it still hurts. Sucks because you don’t wanna think about it or feel it but it just kinda stays in your brain. Going to try and workout to take my mind off it idk what else to do
I've been struggling with some "ocd" tendencies lately, like hair twirling and onychotillmania. I was just called out on the hair twirling, now I noticed I started rubbing on my fingers instead. ahh! don't people realize it's a hard habit to break??!
despite my best efforts and while trying meditation (it does help a little, tbh and I'm keeping at it), I'm not doing well and feel miserable in all aspects of my life. Continuing on just seems so fucking exhausting.
I've thought about killing myself more in the past few days than I ever have before and it's scaring me because I honestly don't know why I shouldn't anymore
I hope you choose to live, my friend. You deserve that. Like others have offered, my inbox is always open.
Being able to be honest about how you're feeling is a big deal too even if you don't feel like you can talk much beyond that. We're all here for you.
@angrycandy remember that any reason to stay, no matter how small it seems, is a good one! and there are so many!!
this outpouring of love from our little community has made me see that no matter what is troubling me, that there are reasons to keep going and that I have people in my life who truly care for me and that just maybe that's enough. I love and appreciate you all so very much. thank you for always being there for me when I need it