Mental Health Thread • Page 291

I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years today and it feels like a death. Thanks to everyone who has offered kind words in the past on this. He's an amazing person and thankfully it seems like we will be staying in each other's lives but it will be really hard for the next few months as we figure out our next moves in life. I would not be the person I am without him and I struggle to see the future without him as well. As much as this is something I initiated, it still feels like absolute hell. I really can only tackle one day at a time.

 

Hey congrats, in a sense, for finally pulling the trigger and doing right by you. That long together can’t be easy to end. I am curious if he was surprised by it?

either way, I wish you (and him) the best. Now go find yourself a big tiddied goth gf.

 

Thank you for the support. He wasn't surprised. He was hurt of course but I am in awe of how comforting he managed to be even while I was the one blowing up our lives. I think we both realize that this is nobody's fault and that sometimes things don't work out.

 

Of course! I'm always here to support you. Just let me know if you ever need anything.

I'm glad it seems to have gone as well as a breakup can and hopefully you two can manage to stay friends, since, if nothing else, you two definitely have been that for a long time.

 

Bad night, bad night. Sigh.

 

Okay so I read through this thread every now and then but I always talk myself out of posting, so I'm gonna try to not do that this time.

I took a trip last weekend to visit my sister and her boyfriend for the first time since they moved to NC back in June. It was pretty awesome and honestly the best couple of days I've had in months. We did a ton of driving and lots of walking, which admittedly got a bit difficult at times with some of my recent health problems, but overall I had a great time and felt pretty good all four days I was gone. I even managed to stick strictly to my diet and ate really well and just felt overall better than I have in some time. But now that I've been back home since Tuesday I feel like I've been disassociating and just feel depressed and all around awful. I've been eating like crap and I can't seem to find any motivation to get back to reality. I know I need to make some big changes but it's all very complicated. I feel like any time I'm doing okay for a bit, I start back pedaling so hard and I don't know how to stop.

Just a couple of weeks before my trip, my anxiety and everything had gotten so bad again I ended up back in the ER, but after that I'd been doing a lot better, until a few days ago. At my last doctor's appointment I actually talked to him for the first time about possibly taking medication for anxiety/depression, and he seemed to think it was a really good idea, but then we agreed I should wait and see how I'm feeling over the next month with the other things I have going on and other meds I'm taking. I ended up feeling a bit like I chickened out, but at the same time I was just extremely proud of myself for talking about some of the things I had spent years thinking I would never even be able to put into words. I also tried talking to two of my sisters about all of this and they just kind of blew me off. I don't blame them really. All of my family has always been terrible at communicating and being supportive, and I know I'm not always much better. They're not really the people I should be trying to talk to about this anyway, it just sucks not really having anyone else. I feel like every conversation I do have with them or anyone is such surface level fake bs and I hate it. It's been so long since I've had someone to really talk to about everything and I miss it so much. I don't even know who I would reach out to at this point, since I've barely talked to most of my friends since high school and it would be completely out of nowhere if I tried to message any of them now. The few internet friends I have are all dealing with their own stuff, including one who recently survived a suicide attempt and now has to move back home across the country, which makes me feel like my problems are so small in comparison, though I know they're really not. I've been trying to be there for her but I've never dealt with anything like that and I feel so uncertain about everything I say.

Honestly things have felt like such a constant and insane downward spiral since I lost my mom last year, and I truly wouldn't wish this whole grief, depression, anxiety, chronic illness combo on anyone. Sometimes I think about how everything was going so well prior to my mom's copd getting so much worse at the end of 2016. It's hard reminding myself there's no point in wasting my time wishing I could just go back to three years ago, when I genuinely felt like I was on a good path for the first time in my life before everything went wrong.

...Well, sorry. That was a lot. It felt good to get that out though. Thanks for reading all of that if you did.

 

I'm just getting a sea of rejections from every job I apply for. I can't even get an interview anywhere. I have literally no skills or degree so can't wait to make minimum wage for the rest of my life and continue to be poor and miserable!!

 

100%. Supremely relatable content

 

that's weird / interesting.

 

Hmm, well that's me fucked then.

 

Does my cat count

 

Yes I already know the answer

 

this is really weird but I cannot stand being touched, my girlfriend tries rubbing me or holding me or whatever and it just feels super uncomfortable, it sucks because she wants to show me affection but I physically cannot stand it most of the time (exception is when I’m fall asleep she holds me because it helps me sleep). I’ve had this problem as long as I can remember and recall a similar thing occurring in my relationships when I was younger too

 

My general mental health has gone down considerably since I haven’t had my dogs to cuddle constantly.

 

My cat died and I adopted a new one in less than 2 weeks. Don't realise just how much you depend on them until they're gone

 

Hey, any luck with Lexapro? My wife just got a script today but is convinced that it will be horrible because of all the bad reviews...i'm sure it can help with anxiety/depression but would love to hear from someone that's been through it if you're willing.

 

I've been on Lexapro for 7 years (barring 6 months when I went off cold turkey which I do not recommend anyone doing) and it does work. For me it's the difference between feeling like you're on the edge of a breakdown all the time and being just slightly better than that and actually able to function. However it comes with some nasty side effects, most of which I've been spared, I do think maybe my emotions are more blunted or just take longer to process than normal.

But here I am 7 years later in a much better place in my life and I'm starting to think about weaning off of them again. The withdrawals are very intense and longlasting though so I'm extremely apprehensive. I guess what I would say is that lexapro does work but it can come with a lot of drawbacks.

 

i have zero complaints, except it took me about two months to learn how to sleep through the night. it made my bladder hyperactive the first few months.

weaning off I had vertigo for 6 weeks. Worth it. Really helped me find balance.

 

Anyone try Vraylar before? My doc has nothing but good things to say about it and claims she hasn't had a single patient with negative side effects and that it just improves mood in general. Sent me home with some samples

 

I’m sorry to hear that. Idk what I’d do without my babies.

 

Just feel very lost and adrift lately. Scared it's going to affect my job performance in a way that my boss actually notices and comments upon. Additionally, been really down on myself, wishing I could just go an hour without hating how I look. Also doesn't help I'm in a downswing where I'm feeling lonely.

It's all just sort of hitting at once and I'm a fucking mess.

 

I feel so hopeless lately

 

I love this community and I love being able to talk about music with people from all over but a big source of my loneliness is not having anyone in my life who cares about music like I do
when I recommend stuff to my friends it often just feels like shouting into a void and I'm tired of going to shows by myself or with my dad