Mental Health Thread • Page 281

Discussion in 'General Forum' started by AelNire, Mar 9, 2016.

  1. Carmen SD

    Trusted

    I'm having a very bad mental health day. I've been in bed all day in tears. I'm very depressed. I don't see myself getting better. I've been battling depression since early teens and nothing helps. Most days I want to die. I strongly feel like I'm going to end up going thru life alone because no one wants to be with someone ugly, and I'm only going to get uglier and have more health issues as I get older. Every day I think "why me". I don't want kids because theres a high chance I'll pass all of this to them, and I won't put them thru what I've gone thru, but it seems like everyone wants kids these days. I've been alone and struggling alone all my life and its hard. With extra problems I can't deal with it alone and need someone by my side. But it likely won't happen. I wish all of this would end
     
  2. DarkHotline

    Swedish Festival Enthusiast Supporter

    I hate myself and I hate my fucking life. I’m tired of being lonely and unwanted, I feel like I’m a burden or I’m just tolerated
     
  3. Shakriel

    I'm just so tired of thinking about everything Prestigious

    I am just so tired of existing. I loathe my body and mind. I don't know that I'll ever find happiness, just not sure it's possible.
     
  4. Carmen SD

    Trusted

    I nearly had an anxiety attack at the grocery store. My anxiety is already increased since the breakup. I was in line at the check out and I literally couldn’t move because the person in front of me was there. The guy behind me was super rude and was saying things like “other people don’t think about others” to the person next to him and kept saying “the girl in front” too. I really wanted to turn around now and snap but I have a dirty look instead and too my swert time when paying for my stuff. He was like in his 40s-50s too.

    I really don’t know how I can get past this heartbreak. I find myself declining mentally and physically. I have bursts of breakdowns where I’m balling my eyes out and times where I’m just ok. The only happiness I ever experienced was ripped from me. I strongly feel like I won’t find that happiness again. I always feel awful and rather not be living. I don’t have anything to live for. My health problems are only going to progress and get worse over time. Part of me feels like my ex did his own research and found out how bad my health is/would get and didn’t want to deal with me. Constant doctors visits to specialist, higher risk for things like cancer, constant pain, etc. I really don’t want to go thru all of that alone. I can’t. He had said things like “i don’t want you to die early on me” which words like that make this breakup more difficult because i was lead to believe we had a future together. But I guess who would want to be with someone who doesn’t know if they have a future. My health problems are known to cause depression and anxiety in which I went from mild depression to severe and more anxiety. Can’t keep going on like this.

    Has anyone seen a therapist or avoided seeing a therapist because you know talking to them isn’t going to do anything and you don’t want to waste time and money. That all you will get out of it is meds that may not even help because you literally can’t fix your health problems. I don’t feel like therapy will do anything because they can’t magically cure me. I wish I could wake up and be cured.
     
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  5. Kiana

    Goddamn, man child Prestigious

    I think if you go in with the mindset that the therapist is going to or even should magically cure you it's never going to be successful. What I appreciate about my therapist is that she encourages me to see things from a different perspective or sometimes just helps me untangle and organize my thoughts into something more productive. I think we tend to feel calm or content when things are going our way. We get frustrated when things don't go how we believe they should. That's when I find therapy helpful - to develop those tools when things aren't going my way and I need to learn how to cope effectively. It's def not a quick fix process which can be super frustrating, but it's also oddly rewarding when I'm able to work through it using what I've learned. Also thinking you need a cure implies there is something wrong with you - there isn't! You've been thru something super difficult and I hope you're doing well.
     
  6. Kiana

    Goddamn, man child Prestigious

    Alsooooo today was a tough day. I'm trying to remind myself that I can redirect my frustration into learning a new skill. Instead of dwelling and being annoyed at others ppls behaviors which I can't control, I need to channel that energy into doing what I can to avoid this situation happening again. But my sense of wanting to control everything wants to dominate everything else. Part of me is like "no they're wrong and they need to know they're wrong." Logical brain realizes that isn't a productive way to think and won't get me anywhere, but it's so haaaard.
     
  7. Carmen SD

    Trusted

    When I was talking about "curing" I was referring to my health problems, which can't be cured :( My health problems are the main cause to my depression and anxiety (other triggers will either make it better or worse. upon doing some research the depression and anxiety can be lifelong). So to me I don't see how a therapist will help me. Like when I was with my ex, I was in the best place I've ever been. Before him and now were/are bad places. I'm glad therapy works for others, but I just don't know how it will make me feel better. I know I shouldn't say it won't work unless I try it, but if I feel like having someone that makes me feel like I have a purpose and wants me makes things better, then I don't see therapy as something what will benefit me if you know what I mean.
     
  8. Kiana

    Goddamn, man child Prestigious

    I get that, and I don't think therapy has to be for everyone so I def don't wanna come off preachy. But like if depression and anxiety is going to be a lifelong struggle, which I think is unfortunately the case for many, therapy can help to learn tools and coping skills to manage those feelings and work thru them. Having someone who makes you feel good about yourself and makes you want to make positive change is really awesome and can be helpful too, but I think it can be tough putting all your eggs in one basket. If your esteem and purpose is all tied up in one person, that is giving them a lot of control over your life and your well-being. It took me going thru an abusive relationship to learn that unfortunately. I think being content and okay and happy with yourself is one of the most challenging things we can learn, and one that's an everyday lifelong process, but I do believe it's possible. Just remember to be kind to yourself bb.
     
  9. Kiana

    Goddamn, man child Prestigious

    I feel like everyday I toe the line of a mental breakdown heavy sigh
     
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  10. Shakriel

    I'm just so tired of thinking about everything Prestigious

    I'm so tired of each and every fucking day.
     
  11. BirdPerson

    fuck tammy! Prestigious

    Weird moment for me tonight when my gf essentially said she doesn't want to have kids with me if I stay a grocery store employee

    I mean no I don't want to work minimum wage the rest of my life when min wage isn't a living wage. But damn there are things to unpack here
     
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  12. Kiana

    Goddamn, man child Prestigious

    What was her reasoning? Not having enough funds? Growing up my dad was (and still is) a grocery store employee and it was fine?? If anything it was nice cause he could easily pick up medicine after work if I was sick or a prescription at the pharmacy or any random food craving cause he was already there!
     
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  13. BirdPerson

    fuck tammy! Prestigious

    Partly that and partly "ambition", I think. She doesn't want to be the only one working and making money. I'm on disability until October so that makes my sitting around a lot more in-your-face.

    Idk, I'm at a point in my life where I can finally figure out what I want to do with myself. But I like my job at Sprouts - all the social interactions are quick and relatively easy, the stakes are low, I get physical exercise. Her comments surprised me.
     
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  14. Kiana

    Goddamn, man child Prestigious

    Yeah that's interesting. Maybe because I don't rly have that "ambition" myself. I would love to somehow be financially stable while working a low-stakes job. I have a high stakes job and it's stressful and is turning my hair gray and takes over my life and an assortment of other unpleasant things. There's nothing wrong about being content with the position you're in. I hope you are able to talk it out with her!
     
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  15. Kiana

    Goddamn, man child Prestigious

    Sometimes when I'm driving I just want to keep driving towards the coast and start a new life
     
  16. Kiana

    Goddamn, man child Prestigious

    I have a childhood friend who I've drifted a bit from. She is a super extrovert and got rly into drinking and smoking and I never have been, plus I have an 8-5 job so our schedules became v opposite. We've been reconnecting a bit and it came to my attn that she had a DUI and now has a blow and go in her car. I've always been a "square" when it comes to drinking and partying and so idk if I'm overreacting but I'm upset that she did it and I'm upset that she still drinks. She's all pumped that I'll drink the occasional beer now and it seems like she's more eager to hang out with me now because of it. I feel like she has a problem now, but idk if it's anything I should call out or acknowledge. I won't like intervention her or anything, but I'm concerned that I'm perceiving she is struggling with something and self medicating to cope. Since we're not as close anymore idk what's going on in her life as specifically, but it makes me sad. Idk a lot of her friends now but they seem like enablers. But I also don't wanna come from a judgemental place like she needs me to "social work" her or anything, but I have a hard time grappling with the fact that she put other ppls lives in danger and seems to not be slowing down. Idk
     
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  17. iCarly Rae Jepsen

    I was walking with a ghost Supporter

    drunk driving is one of the few things I'm just morally against, there's no excuse in this day and age, and it isn't being boring or a prude it's just as you say putting someone's life at risk
     
  18. Kiana

    Goddamn, man child Prestigious

    Yeah we don't have things like Uber or Lyft here, but there are still ways around it. Walk, have a DD, plan to stay the night somewhere, etc. I do feel for what she's been thru but once it comes to endangering lives like idk idk


    On a good note, today was a nice day. Slept in, went to the gym and had a nice workout, watched Jane the Virgin, saw my nephew.... V low-key and nice.
     
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  19. personalmaps

    guppy Supporter

    A person I consider a fairly close friend randomly removed me and all our mutual friends from social media without saying a word and for no apparent reason and my feelings are incredibly hurt.
     
  20. Mary V Aug 26, 2019
    (Last edited: Aug 26, 2019)
    Remind me to stop looking at comment sections anywhere. I am incredibly proud of all the artists doing something great and contributing to Bans Off My Body. But, of course, anti-choice responses flood the comment section, and none of them realise how harmful their ideals are. Nor do any of them admit that they’re not really pro-life. Do they care about the children locked in detention centres? Or do refugee children — asylum seeking is legal and is only demonised by horrendously racist media, btw — not count? Will they adopt children in need? Or, will they call kids thugs when they steal food from a supermarket because they’re starving? What about the mother with multiple jobs, working to make ends meet and simply can’t afford to support another child? What about the mother with two kids, terrible pregnancies for them both and decides not to go through with that again? My sister and I were born premature. My mum struggled with preeclampsia, and after my sister was born, doctors told her she’d die if she gave birth again. She opted to tie her tubes and never have the decision of abortion on her hands. She made a choice for herself and our family. I bet anti-choicers would even hate that! Ugh, sorry, I’m just exhausted and can’t stand these people.

    It’s not just happening in the US, but much closer to home. The New South Wales government is backpedaling on a bill to decriminalise abortion in the state. The anti-choice brigade have taken a cue from the incredibly hurtful “vote no” campaign of the same-sex plebiscite Australia held in 2017 by taking to skywriting — where the vote no campaign literally wrote that in the sky, the anti-choice crew plastering “choose life” all over the state. When I saw the “vote no” skywriting back in 2017, I was in class and had to leave and bawl in the bathroom. I wasn’t openly bisexual with my family back then. It killed me. Why can’t they just be honest? This isn’t about foetal lives, religion or left or right wing views. This is about restricting choice on bodies, but only those with uteruses. Maybe I’d have an inkling of respect for these people if they just admitted, “hey, I’m a misogynistic asshole and don’t believe people who can bear children should have the same choices as men!” Or, maybe not. I wish they’d shut the fuck up. I wish our bodies weren’t political games. Abortion needs to be legal, accessible and affordable.

    I’m not a monster for having an abortion. I’ve never wanted children, nor does my boyfriend. I work a casual (often irregular) job, I’m at university, I’m only 23 and want to travel and live my life independently. Let’s not forget that numerous health issues run in my family. My circumstances haven’t changed. I’d do it again if I found out I was pregnant today, despite the inner turmoil it caused last time. It would be worse this time with our bodies constantly in the media! I refuse to bring an unwanted child into this world. I refuse to put them through corrupted adoption systems. I made the right choice for me, my boyfriend and what would’ve been, an unhappy child.

    I didn’t know where else to talk about this. It’s way too hard in person, Twitter and Facebook are cesspools of hatred, and this has always been my safe space. If you’re pro-life and choose to respond to me, please do so with respect and I’ll do the same to you.

    EDIT: I’ve been taking birth control pills for ages, we use protection, and I still fell pregnant. I don’t take sex or abortions lightly. But, becoming a mother would be a life-altering change that I do not want. I’m lucky I live in a state where I can make such a choice legally!
     
  21. personalmaps

    guppy Supporter

    You're absolutely not a monster, and more people should have the fortitude to make the choice that's best for themselves AND for the entire human being they'd be bringing into a subpar life. The thing that drives me up the wall about the whole "oh just put it up for adoption" argument is that even in the BEST of cases, even when someone wants a baby more than anything, pregnancy is nine months of body trauma that changes a person forever. It's not just a failure of sex education, but of educating people who can get pregnant about their bodies and what will happen to them during this process.

    Stay out of the comments. You're a strong, amazing person and you alone know what's best for your life. I'm proud of you!
     
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  22. Kiana

    Goddamn, man child Prestigious

    BRB ugly loud singing to matchbox twenty in the car as I get out the angst

    I started out clean but I'm jaded
    Just phoning it in
    Just breaking the skin


    Rob Thomas knows what it's like!!! He's has such an emotive voice. This post isn't just to fangirl I'm legit not doing well lol but their music is helping
     
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  23. Zoshchenko

    Trusted Supporter

    Has anyone ever done an IOP or PHP program?
     
  24. scroopy.noopers

    : (

    the same ppl who follow me and also share those 1-800 numbers for ppl feeling suicidal don't do a fucking thing when i'm straight up like "i'm really depressed and isolated and in pain." my roommates ignore me for the most part. i tried reaching out to them to plan a small apt get together for my partner's bday but they have ignored it. on top of that i am starting to feel like my partner isolates me/us. unless its someone he is interested in fucking, we don't hang out with other ppl. i can't really go out on my own since i am financially dependent on him due to being trapped in a coding bootcamp, which also feels isolating since i'm surrounded by cishet men all day who talk about nothing but sports and finance. i'm so tired of being called resilient as if i have no breaking point. my doc just put me on wellbutrin along with the zoloft i've been taking and idk it feels like its going nowhere. i hardly smoke weed anymore cuz i can't afford it and my partner doesn't care for it; he really only likes coke which i end up doing on occasion. i'm just so fucking tired *all the time*. i fall asleep at my desk almost everyday at 2-3pm. i'm alone, and i cannot shake the feeling of being disliked by everyone. ever since my birthday back in march, where no one i invited showed up, i've been spiraling.

    sorry for the rant/wall of text. i needed to type shit and could prob use a nap.
     
    Shakriel likes this.
  25. Carmen SD

    Trusted

    The very toxic person that contributed to a lot of my mental issues may be moving back home. Why my dad is even allowing that idk. Living with this person was so bad I wanted to take my own life.

    Not having anyone to talk about it really sucks. Seems to always happen to me. I never have anyone when I need it the most