Mental Health Thread • Page 275

You don’t suck as a person at all, it’s totally understandable to be frustrated by writer’s block. You didn’t fail because of it, many writers go through the same thing. I guess what I’m getting at is that you can do the best you can and that’s okay, take your time and do what makes you comfortable. I’m rooting for you and I hope you find that idea that sparks a creative fire in you.

 

Thank you for the kind words. I still haven't made huge progress since that last post, but I did work on my novel idea a little bit (mostly general outlining stuff) and I'm starting to feel slightly more confident about it.

 

It's been a good week tbh. I was reunited with my old work family. We were so super close, bonded by stress and trauma, but like family. Most of us eventually quit and went to different jobs. We all still loosely interact since we're in the same field, but for one of the first times since I quit we've been rly able to hang out. We were in the same training all week and then today we got dinner and played games. It has been fun and lovely. It ends tomorrow so I prob won't see them for a long time again, but it's nice to catch up and see how we've grown and support each other.

 

That’s awesome, I’m glad to hear that. Keep working towards that goal, you got this.

 

lots of days lately where i just want to give up. everything is such a grind. my relationships and my financial situation are both just uphill battles constantly draining me.

 

If it helps, most pharmacies that have a record of you being on a certain med will give you a partial refill while you get things squared away and then just subtract it from when you pick up your main prescription, especially psych meds because of how dangerous it can be.

We had to do that when my girlfriend forgot to contact her doc to refill her Effexor.

(At least if you live in the US)

 

I'm having trouble with sleeping the past couple of days. Been thinking a lot about how I can have a better life in general. The thoughts I'm having just mess my mood up.

 

Feeling really down and depressed. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. Feel like I’m always ignored and no one cares about me. It hurts very badly to feel like I’m all alone with no one and knowing I’m going to end up alone for the rest of my life. Some people I guess were meant to be alone and I’m one of them. I can’t function alone. The fact that I predicted this when I was young is sad. Sad to know it’s actually reality and there’s nothing I can do about it. It hurts so so bad. Everything is crashing down. Every time things look up for me, it always goes to shit one way or another. I don’t know why this is happening to me. I don’t deserve this. This always happens. Nothing good ever happens I don’t know how much longer I can handle it all. I’m near my breaking point

 

Hang in there. You’re going through a lot and what you’re feeling is totally understandable. You’ve had a pretty big life event happen and you’re trying to piece everything together. It’s rough to go through but you can do it. I know I’m just some person on a messageboard but don’t give up, take it one step at a time and move at the pace you feel like you can do. Life is not a race, things will work out for you. Just stay strong, you got people here rooting for you.

 

Hang in there bb. I'm sorry you're going through this. I know it's difficult but you're strong and you can do it! I know it sounds corny but the energy you put out into the world matters. If you have been convinced you're going to be alone forever, be careful that you're not putting up walls as a consequence and creating a self fulfilling prophecy. I believe you have more control than you think! I truly believe that people sense what we put out there. When we believe we're unworthy and destined to be alone, we close ourselves off and don't let others in, and our relationships suffer as a result. Then we let that fuel our negative thoughts and we're convinced we were right all along. We can rewrite the narrative by changing our mindset. Which isn't easy at all and I think is something we work on throughout our lives, but I def believe you're capable and worthy of happiness!

 

I know what you mean about being at different points in your life from your friends; I compare myself to others all the time and it seems to get worse the older I get. But then I have to remember that that is entirely on me - I'm the one comparing myself, I'm the one impressing upon myself that "at this age I should have done x,y,z!" Any good friend is going to love you through every phase of your life, no matter where you're at in your journey. Sometimes it has to be a very conscious process to be comfortable with where you are at in life but it's different for everybody so give yourself the space to grow into yourself!

 

It’s hard to go out in public with the state I’m in. I just want to start crying every time I see people

 

I try to push myself to pursue my art but it’s been hard lately, I just don’t feel like doing it. I have a bunch of pictures, some I’ve edited and put touches on it and I just don’t care enough to post them. I just feel like people don’t fucking care if I do or don’t.

 

Honestly, I’m just tired of these highs and lows. I’ll feel good and then I’ll just feel like absolute shit within a day. I get my hopes up and then they just fall down hard. I hate this.

 

Been doing, well, not great. Largely fell off the earth the last week besides dragging my ass to work. Just feel like I'm drifting and miserable. I also feel weirdly jealous of people able to stay busy. I just work and then curl up in bed and read lately. I just never do anything. And I don't mean go out, but like write or something--making an effort seems beyond me and I fucking hate it. I'm doing fine in my job and all, but feel like I'm just sort of coasting. I've been reading a lot, like 3 books and 6 vols of manga in the past week alone. Finished one on commute home today and immediately cranked into another.

Got curious that maybe weed would help and signed up for some uber eats type delivery thing because it's the fucking bay area and of course you can. Then i chickened out from trying anything because I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, just thought maybe it could help me focus or feel less depressed. I dunno. I'm a mess.

 

I think I am totally burnt out from work. I feel like I’ve been working non stop since March, taking on project after project and it’s just relentless. I’ve had a few days off here and there but I feel I’m in desperate need of a complete unplug and reset. My head is just not in the game right now. I’m constantly tired and I find it hard to focus on anything, even non work stuff. I need to get away

 

do you have any refills left at your pharmacy?

 

no

 

My goal is to make it to Friday without having impulsively bought fast food, takeout, coffee shop muffins or tea, etc. This used to be a no brainier goal for me, but when I fall into my depression I tend not to buy or prepare food and then get takeout and it's no bueno. Every day and every meal I have to convince myself not to do it. Last time I ate out was on saturday, which I don't rly count because it wasn't an impulsive and depression related decision. It was positive and with friends. Looks like my last food related depression incident was over a week ago!

 

Funny, I have the same goal. I had too much takeout last week and I want it to just be 1 night a week, with the rest being meals i make at home (whether it's prepared or something quickly thrown together). Been good since Saturday.

 

Good for you! That's awesome!!

I def have an unhealthy relationship with food and I have to consciously work on it every day. When I'm stressed it's my first gut instinct to eat. And I get so busy at work that it's easy to justify. Like tomorrow will be the real test! Im going to be out and about all day so I need to make an effort to plan and pack a lunch, but when my depression leads to low motivation it's hard.

 

Real test for me will be the weekend, I can usually survive during the work week.

I'm the same way. I just say fuck it and grab some food, it's not wise and that just depresses me further.

 

Ahh see I'm the opposite cause I'm so busy during the work week but on the weekends I have no life and therefore more time to make food or go shopping. My biggest saving grace is that I dislike driving even more, so that stops me from getting takeout a lot. There are no fast food places between my job and home and I hate driving out of the way and it ends up taking longer than just making something. I live by lots of good restaurants but manage to talk myself out of it... Sometimes lol

I always end up feeling guilty, espesh with all the money it adds up to. I notice when I go to the gym I have the urge to eat better and make my own food, but then my depression usually makes it hard to exercise too lmao. But this week is good so far.

 

I just come home from my commute and after exercising I'm too tired to bother with anything beyond making something that will take just a few minutes. It's the weekends where my brain is like, "hey, know what sounds good?" And then I go and spend money, which I shouldn't because I've spent way too much. Finding out I can doordash fast food was just not good.

I want to start making stuff and cooking healthier food, but then my depressed brain is like why bother and im like you're right and i throw a bagel into the toaster.

I'm trying to be better and I just dont know how well it's working.

 

I was doing great today and enjoying playing video games with my brother. Then something reminded me I was poor af and I wanted to go home and retreat. 40% are good days, and 60% are not.