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Mental Health Thread • Page 257

Discussion in 'General Forum' started by AelNire, Mar 9, 2016.

  1. Kiana

    Goddamn, man child Prestigious

    My bff and I have been leading different lives for a while. When we see each other other it's like no time has passed but idk we barely see each other. She bartended for years and got rly into the night life stuff. All of her friends are into it too and she is basically drunk or high every time I see her and it bums me out. She has had a string of unhealthy relationships since we were young and there were some rly srs allegations brought against her dad that she was having difficulty processing and idk I feel like she's had rough situations and she uses substances to cope. She just told me she got a DUI and can't drive. Idk how long ago she got it. Def longer ago than today when she told me cause she asked me for a ride a few weeks ago but I thought maybe it was cause her car couldn't drive in the snow. She prob didn't tell me sooner cause she thought I'd judge her and I kinda am??? Idk I have major issues with ppl who drive drunk and it's hard for me to grapple that she is still up to that bs. She told me she drove drunk a few years ago and woke up in the bath and I was like omg sis u could've gotten into a wreck or drowned in the tub! And like that wasn't the learning experience? it's not just normal party antics to me I feel like she's struggling and idk it bums me out to see. Last time I saw her I didn't even recognize her.
     
    supernovagirl likes this.
  2. Jason

    Regular

    I look at my life today and then I look at my life 5 years ago. Nothing has changed. I've gotten older but made no progress at anything.
     
  3. supernovagirl

    Poetic and noble land mermaid

    @Kiana I’m sorry that is such a struggle and I can relate with it a lot. I feel like it’s scary how normalized casual alcoholism is by our generation/society in general. I’m glad that a few years ago I became more like you, like you grow up and you learn and you just can’t help but judge people who continue to re-make the same mistakes of their youth especially when they have no desire for introspection or moderation
     
    Kiana likes this.
  4. Kiana

    Goddamn, man child Prestigious

    Today is just a frustrating day and I feel like I vent on this site so much but idk where else to do it. I have been the fixer and listener since I was a kid and now it's what I do for a living and I feel like I'm always here to fix the lives of others and listen and pull things together when everyone else is a mess, but nobody is rly there to listen when I vent. I'm never allowed to be a mess. And part of that is on me because I undermine my problems and then dont speak up, but idk. I ask people how they are and what's going on genuinely and literally like ten times a day but nobody does the same for me. And I don't want to have to tell someone to listen and ask me how I am, like I want them to ask because they care and want to know. Everyone just has bigger problems. My sister has my nephew and her school and BIL and her own issues and then my friend is a foster parent whose always having a rough go and my other friend I never see and my other friend always has issues and moved an hour away and never follows thru on plans and idk. Just sucks.

    Also I've eaten like five Rice krispie treats to cope
     
    Borat and bigmike like this.
  5. Kiana

    Goddamn, man child Prestigious

    Lol I had text a friend about how I was stressed out and she called me and I thought it might be to ask me what was up, but she just asked me a random question and then I of course asked her how her night went and she talked about it and then I got asked nothing about my day or how I am. I guess I could've just led with my feelings but like... Again I feel like I shouldn't have to initiate that and someone should care enough to ask idk idk maybe that's just too much
     
  6. Kiana

    Goddamn, man child Prestigious

    I think deep down I'm just jealous that everyone else is allowed to fall apart but I never feel like I can.
     
  7. personalmaps

    citrus & cinnamon Prestigious

    Feel this so hard. You are allowed!! We have your back.
     
  8. mad

    I was right. Prestigious

    does anyone else get way depressed when they’re on their period?
     
    supernovagirl likes this.
  9. Kiana

    Goddamn, man child Prestigious

    I'm a whole mess sometimes. Migraines, emotional, sick. But not always so I never know what to expect
     
    mad likes this.
  10. Jams

    Trusted

    Omg yes! Every single month from like the week before my period starts until midway through my period I am an absolute mess. My family will ask if I'm about to start my period bc they can tell a difference in my mood even. Idk my depression is always there but around my period it's just badddddd. I tried asking my OB/GYN about it and if there was a med I could take or something but she was not helpful at all and just dismissed it completely and said it was "just PMS" and to "exercise and eat less red meat" (when I'm a vegetarian lol....) so I'm still trying to figure out what to do about it.
     
    supernovagirl and mad like this.
  11. supernovagirl

    Poetic and noble land mermaid

    I feel y’all hard. The week before my period is always the worst, emotionally. I have even joked on here before that I know that if I’m feeling particularly hopeless (suicidal), it’s a good indicator my period is coming within the next few days.
    I don’t have anything hopeful to add, unfortunately. Just that y’all are not alone.
     
  12. Vase Full Of Rocks

    Trusted Supporter

    I am just exhausted. I feel like I've simultaneously put in so much effort and absolutely no effort into getting better and I'm just burnt out. I feel empty and beyond lazy. I have the mental desire to move forward, get a new job, change my life and not be miserable, but I completely lack the mental drive to do so. I want to be better, but apparently not enough to actually go through with it. I don't think I ever will.
     
    Kiana likes this.
  13. mad

    I was right. Prestigious


    i feel this!!
     
  14. Garrett

    i tore a hole in the fabric of time Moderator

    Coworkers of mine have been screenshotting social media posts of mine dealing with my depression and how my work is a trigger and sending them to my boss.

    What a fun thing to learn today.
     
    Shakriel, Joe4th, LWS and 1 other person like this.
  15. SlappinCups

    Hurley apologist Prestigious

    that's really shitty
     
    Joe4th and Garrett L. like this.
  16. mad

    I was right. Prestigious

    ugh @Garrett L. that's so shitty, maybe you should change your privacy settings so they can't see everything you post?
    but seriously wtf is their problem, what are they even trying to accomplish by doing that
     
    dadbolt, Joe4th, Ken and 3 others like this.
  17. K0ta

    wrap yourself in petals for armor.

    I've been there, sometimes I really think it was the insane amount of drugs they put me on that are the worst problem though. I have entire stretches of memory that are missing from that time.
     
    SlappinCups likes this.
  18. Garrett

    i tore a hole in the fabric of time Moderator

    Yeah. I made my twitter private but I also know now that it’s someone I’m actually friends with on Facebook. I still don’t know who, though I have a couple ideas.

    I’ve got a lucrative position in the retail world, but those who would benefit from me leaving also wouldn’t be the ones doing this.
     
    Ken likes this.
  19. theagentcoma

    yeah good okay Prestigious

    what the fuck? this is super messed up.
     
    Garrett L. likes this.
  20. mad

    I was right. Prestigious

    also I don’t know about the states but in Canada it would definitely be illegal to fire you for having depression
     
    SlappinCups likes this.
  21. Kiana

    Goddamn, man child Prestigious

    Wtf that's so messed up! Ur work pics are adorable and I will end this saboteur!! So sorry ur dealing with that violation of trust. It's so wrong.
     
    dadbolt and Garrett L. like this.
  22. Garrett

    i tore a hole in the fabric of time Moderator

    In Tennessee, you can be fired for looking for other jobs. Which was my main fear. But she said she had zero plan to do that.
     
  23. PureBlueSF

    Regular Supporter

    I've been absolutely miserable this entire week. I'm not even sure why. It's just been one thing after another. I'm going to Dave and Buster's after I eat dinner to play some Dance Dance Revolution (it helps me not self harm) but that's still just something of a temporary fix. I don't know what to do otherwise.
     
    LWS and thenewmatthewperry like this.
  24. ChaseTx

    Big hat enthusiast Prestigious

    Being unemployed is making me feel completely worthless. I have no degree, no skills, a lot of experience in every level things I have no interest in, and I'm not seeing any good opportunities come up. I have no social life and not much hope of changing that until I have a job at the least. I don't even feel like I know how to talk to people. The few people I feel like I should be close to don't even really talk to me that much. I don't feel like I really have any direction right now and I feel like giving up
     
    LWS likes this.
  25. Kiana

    Goddamn, man child Prestigious

    I talked to my therapist about the massive amount of guilt I carry for how badly I handled it when I had a parentified relationship with my little sister, which I've never opened up about before. She was quick to say gurl u were only 13 like it's not your fault blah blah but I feel like I will die with the guilt. It keeps me up at night. It makes me feel like I'm not even worthy to work with children. I was only a child myself but actions still have consequences. She kept saying my parents are responsible and not myself, but I have a hard time not forming the connection. Like I know I shouldn't have been responsible for her like that but at the end of the day I was and I think it's objective fact that the poor way I treated her has impacted her negatively and followed her into adulthood and I will always feel responsible even if I shouldn't have been put in that situation.