I never know if I just had bad luck with friendships, but most of them had the same patterns. I'd have a social circle around people who just pretend to be best friends to your face, then take advantage of my "niceness" (their words), start petty drama behind my backs and make insensitive criticisms, though they're aware of my mental health issues. Like, sorry I can't always manage to go out at a bar or at a club three to four times a week as it triggers my anxiety, have/had University homework, and barely have money to survive. Thanks for calling me an entitled asshole if I say "no" to something. It's like I always had to act like a well off extravert or else I'd be seen as a bummer by them. I distanced myself from them afterwards, I couldn't stand feeling like everything was always my fault. Sadly, I basically stopped doing social activities at the same time. Now I do have a very few friends I talk on a regular basis, but we all coincidentally got our own jobs lately, so I'm not able to see them that much anymore. All week along I'm looking forward to the weekend, yet I spend the latter on the internet as plans get cancelled or delayed, unless my brother comes visit. I feel so lonely but hopefully I get my driver license soon enough to get out of this isolated town. I want to start hanging around queer places so bad. There might be a difference in terms of fitting in, common interests, and feeling like I'm in a safer environment. Who knows.