Mental Health Thread • Page 242

Been feeling really low for a while now. I don’t want to talk about it any more than I have with my friends. Nothing has changed and no one should hear about my problems all the time

 

What's the point of making efforts to communicate better with people if they keep seeing you as a joke. Friends stop asking for help if they then mock you in a mean way challenge. Start being kind to someone who gladly wants to use my spare time and my energy for you without anything in return instead challenge.

I just need better people in my life perhaps

 

forgot i had a therapy appointment today. not the first time, but the first time i literally could not afford to go, or even go late. therapist offered to call it a wash and not charge me for the missed session but i told her that i'm an adult and i know the rules, so she didn't have to do that. i didn't have much to say today anyway beyond the fact that forcing myself to stay under a certain income level to maintain "free" health care is causing me a ton of problems. i have to do this until at least early May. it's...concerning. i have like 4 bills to pay by the end of this week and it ain't happening. somehow i need to find money to pay for hair removal on my arm, 80 bucks a session, and the guy at the surgeon's office was saying to go 3x a week...lol i'm lucky if i can go once a week. and at this point i'm afraid to contact my insurance provider to see about reimbursement because i'm "poor" so i shouldn't be able to "afford" what i have "afforded" so far. (i can't afford it)

the good news is that, so far, i like my part time job. the guys i work with are pretty nice, and very helpful. most customers are happy as long as i TRY to help them find what they need, even if i can't find it.

in other news, i'm trying to get added to a secret phallo group on facebook and no one's doing it yet. thanks, fellow trans masc people, just thanks so much for your support.

 

Kittens make everything at least a small fraction better

 

I want a cat so bad but because I live with my parents still they refuse to let me have one because of our dogs which is fair but still.

I need a cat.

 

since I'm into celebrating every small victory, I felt the least A Mess today that I have in a while

 

I am a 35 year old man with a bachelor's degree in journalism (that I'm still paying off) who intensely enjoys stocking grocery shelves and pretty much never EEEEVER wants to go back to copywriting and marketing and white collar bullshit.

I'm tired at the end of my shifts but it's physical, not mental, and it helps with the weed cravings because I just want to chill out and not move or drive anywhere lol

My dad is going to love this one. Oh well, my circus my monkeys!

 

I actually got my life together a bit. I've been depressed and have had a hard time keeping my apt clean. Like I came back from a trip in August and still had my suitcase out just overflowing with clothes all over my floor and I had washed my sheets but wasn't motivated to make my bed so I was sleeping on like a blanket thrown on my mattress for months. Finally got that taken care of today. I still have more work to do but at least it's better and after I do my dishes I won't immediately be reminded of depression every time I come home.

 

You gotta celebrate the small victories. I feel like it's a major problem that people seem to think everything needs to be some huge thing. You got out of bed today, maybe you went grocery shopping, maybe you said thank you to the person that made your coffee. That's the shit that counts. That's what should be celebrated.

 

Never feels great when I feel like I can't reach out to a friend because they keep blowing me off or not making plans and I feel all dumb and vulnerable and insecure

 

Whoever said money doesn’t buy happiness doesn’t know shit and has never been poor.

 

Money isn’t everything, not having it is.

 

something I realized sort of recently that I'm sure some of you relate to - the reason I feel so behind in terms of basic "life skills" is that I spent most of my late teens contemplating suicide rather than growing up/learning things

 

Lots of ppl who say that about money are either out of touch rich people trying to placate the masses so they're content having wild income disparity or the poor who try to tell themselves that! Money doesn't solve it all but it sure helps with access to resources for it

 

I do, another reason being that I hated myself so much that I wanted to emulate anyone I met, and tried to be liked by everyone. Letting go of peer pressure is difficult but so freeing.

 

anyone have experience with not being on a dose of ssris/lexapro for a couple days? I finished my last dose in my bottle today and won't get a new script until I see my doctor on Wednesday. Is it ok to go a couple days without it?

 

My father had a stroke very recently so I'm kinda like halfway between being okay enough to function (because I've developed better coping mechanisms and am more proactive when I feel shit coming on) and wanting to gouge my fucking eyes out (among other self destructive things) because I've literally dealt with so much fucking bullshit this year already and it just feels so fucking unfair. I'm stressed all of the time despite the fact that I know he's being well taken care of, because the uncertainty of how badly the stroke actually affected him fucking terrifies me.

Yeah, I know I probably went a little overboard with the f bombs there, but I can't emphasize enough how much this situation sucks. And I was just starting to feel a little better after having a lot of fun at a Dance Dance Revolution tournament and finding a better place to live.

 

I used to get really bad sweats + just feel plain off but it wasn't the end of the world or anything. More...inconvenient.

 

Speaking of stupid money stress. Having $78 in the bank until Friday with an $80 electrolysis appointment on Tuesday is less than ideal.

My anxiety over this surgery and all that goes with it is reaching a breaking point.

 

I'm on a roll. Today I got home and packed away my Halloween decorations, put out my few Xmas things, did my dishes, got a bunch of trash ready to take out, and packed for my trip this week. I have felt so blah that I've just been not doing what I need to. My house was a disaster, and I'm normally such a careful and meticulous planner but I've been late and doing things last minute because I'm not at all motivated. I'm usually careful with finances but I've also been spending more to try to fill that empty feeling I think. It's so unlike me. Feels nice that I've had like two days this week where I got stuff done and felt like myself. The hard part is that when I get those bursts of motivation idk how long they'll last and when I'll get another so I have to try to do as much as possible because it could be months before I do it again.

 

I decided to drive home from my music festival at midnight and it was a 3 and a half hour drive.

I ended up falling asleep and I crashed into a wall and I’m so scared.

I called the police/insurance/family but like damn why did I make a stupid decision like that when I saw signs of me getting sleeepy.

I’m even more scared for how much it will take to fix it.

 

any time I missed even one day I’d get horrible brain zaps and my eyes would be suuuper sensitive to light. but like @BirdPerson said it’s not world ending, definitely a pain in the ass though.

 

fuck that sounds scary. are you hurt at all or is all the damage to the car?

I’m so sorry about your dad
The fact that you recognize that you’ve developed healthier ways of coping is huge though, keep reminding yourself of that and it’ll make it easier to avoid the self destructive stuff

 

Are you okay? I’m so sorry to hear this. We’ve all made dumb decisions when it comes to being too sleepy to drive, so try not to beat yourself up over it. What’s important is that you’re (hopefully) okay.

 

don’t know if this interests anyone but I’m gonna be making homemade xmas / holiday cards, if you’d like one message me ur address!

note: don’t expect anything fancy lol I’m no artiste