Mental Health Thread • Page 228

I am BEYOND desperate to get out of my current soul sucking job/company. I’ve been searching for something different since around March/April and nothing. My job gets worse each day to the point I want to quit on the spot

 

I left a job like that 2 years ago. I couldn't do it anymore.

 

I don’t eat.

I didn’t have lunch today, nothing for dinner or lunch yesterday, and a biscuit with a piece of bacon and sausage for breakfast yesterday. This is normal. I can’t afford food right now, but this is how it was when I could. I can’t even afford my bills. I’m really behind on them. I’m hungry and I want to sleep right when I get home from work and wake up in time for work the next day.

 

I’ve never really used this thread but chorus has offered a weird sense of familiarity and comfort lately, so here goes.

A week ago I started my senior year of HS. By the end of last year, most of my friends as well as my girlfriend were in the grade above (luckily, the gf is close. More on that later). At home, things have been really rough. My mom lost her job recently and has been taking it out on me by using emotional abuse and manipulation to guilt me and making it hard to be productive on college stuff. At school, I feel like I only have maybe 2-3 actual friends. That combined with the very limited social time I have until my NYU application is in (November 1st), I just feel super depressed lately. All I have to look forward to is the few hours a week I get with my girlfriend every weekend and I’m going to see Neck Deep with a few friends next week. Other than that, everything just feels empty and lonely. I know it’s only temporary but I’m miserable.

 

Worked with new person today. I did most of the work to an extent. The new person did put half the people down but doesn’t do rounds like you should. She did clean up the kitchen tho so that’s good but still it’s almost like working with lazy co worker in the beginning. It may take time to get a rountine in but I’m going to be leaving.

The job I had that I thought was no more because they wanted to give me part time is, now giving me full time so that’s a relief. It’s not what I want to do bc I’m going to be dealing with the same bs for the most part but need to get out of my company

 

I thought I was just manic but I think I've actually been distracting myself with the usual things I do when I'm manic to hide from the fact that I'm depressed. Luckily the things I do when I'm manic aren't harmful anymore, just making a ton of plans in my head/starting a ton of projects. I don't know, maybe this is the beginning of a mixed episode. Whatever it is, it is making it very hard to concentrate on school work.

 

I suspect I may have an eating disorder, I don’t have a good relationship with food and I overeat like fucking crazy and have no self control

 

Your mother should NOT be taking anything out on you. This pisses me off sooooooooooooooo much. Are parents completely blind to the fact they have children and we aren't there to use as an emotional punching bag? Just hang in there, I know it sucks right now, but you just gotta get through this last year and then you can go to NYU and life will be amazing!

 

I needed to hear this. Thank you.

 

I don't post too often in this thread, but I have my good and bad days too just like all of you. And when I have my bad days and I come here and vent, someone always makes me feel better.

Just remember, we are not alone in this struggle. We all are dealing with diferent things that bring us down or make us feel like we just aren't worth it. But as someone who has been to her lowest point ever just this year, I am here to tell you all....It does get fucking better.

But I am glad that I was able to make your day a little better

 

I just got suspended from my job due to me getting written up to many times and I feel like this is rock bottom.

 

Hopefully this is helpful...if whoever suspended you didn't want you at your job anymore, they could have done it today, but you didn't deserve that. Suspensions are only a short re-evaluation for both parties, this isn't rock bottom! You aren't a loser, and clearly people still need you there.

 

I am personally offended by this because you're the produce person like it's ur brand!! How dare they!!

 

this helps a bit thank you.

THEY DONT LIKE MY PRODUCE SKILLS KIANA ITS AN OUTRAGE

 

For real like what is their problem even? You seem dedicated tbh! Hence being the produce person!! Sry ppl suck and employers always screw over the best smh

 

My new manager is very strict and she basically wants us to be robots and I am not down for that so any mistake I made, she would write me up. I got enough write ups to get a suspension so that is not fun.

 

Ugggh new bosses that barge in and make bad decisions and changes are the woooorst. Is it possible to transfer to another location?

 

I was going to try and transfer but my last write up came before I even had the chance to actually ask my department manager.(He helps out other stores open up so he is never there)

 

Well I hope it works out cause that's bs! Sucks that it only takes one person to come in and ruin everything like they need to

 

this that radio disney classic

 

OH MY GAWD I JUST REALIZED IF UR SUSPENDED HOW IS THERE A SONG OF THE DAY???

This is even worse than I thought.

For totally selfish reasons.

 

the legacy will live on in the spotify playlist I made for it.

 

I hate my appearance soooo much and I'm jealous of people who are confident. I have older female friends who are like mom figures and they're always going on about how cute I am and how beautiful and this is not a humble brag lol but my brain doesn't even process that as possibly being true. I always felt like the ugly duckling and even at times where I'm like oh I do look okay today I'll see a picture of video or something that just reminds me of what I actually look like. Then I feel so shallow for even caring so much. And objectively it's such a waste of time to whine about something I can't change and something so meaningless like I know I shouldn't extend my energy dogging my own appearance or even wanting that validation.

And tbh part of me is bitter that when I was awkward and didn't wear much makeup and my hair was unfortunate and I didn't conform as much to standards of beauty nobody ever commented on my appearance positively and then suddenly my acne starts clearing up and I learn how to do makeup and dress and now positive comments come? Like that's dumb af. Like it literally means nothing but I care about it so much.

 

I cried so hard at therapy today I got lightheaded lol

 

I am, without a doubt, the worst I’ve ever been