Mental Health Thread • Page 221

took a mental health day from work today. forgot how nice it is to call off and dragging myself into work tomorrow is gonna suck

 

Rape tw I guess?? I won't go into detail but I thought I'd add it in case anyone is in a mental space where they don't want to read about trauma.

My rapist's friends keep texting me - one of them is having issues with anxiety and he wants to talk to me about it. I know I don't owe him anything, but like, anxiety sucks and I'd like to help anyone going through it. But I was told that everyone knows what happened and they're all still friends with him so I just can't have them in my life. And this is partially my fault, I knew they were all still friends with him but I was lonely and manic so I reached out to them again after two years of doing fine without them. Oh, and another friend of mine who I actually really enjoyed talking to again because she was a close friend of mine for years is moving in with him!! So now I'm worried about her, but I have no control over it because it's up to her, and I can't keep talking to her knowing he could be in the room when we're talking or whatever. And then there's the whole "how can she be friends with someone who raped her friend so yeah maybe I should end the friendship over that" thing. But tbh I wanna stay her facebook friend in case the situation ever gets bad and she needs help getting out and finding a new place - even if I'm not talking to her, I know her well and she'd probably make a post about it.

Oh, and he moved recently to an area of Mass that my friend and I go to a lot, and I was there last night and on edge the whole time. And I'm ALSO on edge in our hometown because I know he comes back often. So fucking awesome that my rapist faced ZERO accountability/consequences and left town probably just because he wanted to, yet the main reason I'm transferring is to get away from a town where I could run into him and where I have a lot of traumatic memories that I'm reminded of wherever I go here.

I'm so god damn lucky I'm getting out of here in almost a month.

But yeah, anyway, I have no idea how to tell his friends to leave me alone and I can't decide if I should explain why I don't want to hear from them or if I should just ignore them. Probably going to ignore them for now and think about it and decide later if I should say something.

 

My depression has been worse lately. I’m miserable at my job and I keep getting rejected from places I applied to. Not even an interview. I feel worthless. I always get stuck at jobs that I feel like I can never get out of because I get turned away so quickly from everything. Then I apply anywhere that’ll take me even tho it’s awful company to work for for very little pay (min wage while breaking my back). I’m in tears and so stressed from it all that I don’t know what to do anymore

 

It feels so hard, almost insurmountable, to find a therapist

 

My garage/cars got broken into last night and I'm still freaking the fuck out. We have cameras in my driveway and the person didn't even flinch when the auto light came on which means they knew it was coming. Honestly scared at what this is gonna do to me mentally

 

i could use some positive vibes right now. something very bad has been going on but im ready to take the next step and get my life back. that's all i'll say for now.

 

I don’t pray, but I am sending positive vibes your way.

 

I started Lexapro yesterday. I hope it works.

 

Homelessness is such a black hole. All the progress I make is usually shot down by a single event, and I have to start back over the next week. I don't think my meds are dong anything for me anymore

 

sending positivity and love your way guys

 

Finances fill me with dread every waking moment. It got worse when I got the statement for my first student loan payment yesterday. $382 every month for the next 10 years and I’m broke af.

 

950 per month in loans...it could be worse lol

 

Why not just do income based repayments?

I only pay $31/month, but I don't make a lot to begin with.

 

I'm starting to look into it, but the bulk of my loan is private loan. I've looked into refinancing, but hasn't appeared to be promising thus far tbh

 

That sucks.

 

Because that would mean I’d be paying it off for the rest of my life.

 

my student loan has fucked me financially and I ended up dropping out so lol at me
my monthly payments are around the same as yours, I hate seeing it on my bank statement so much

 

You could pay more whenever you'd like. You wouldn't be stuck to the plan forever.

 

I'm just now getting my loans paid off from when I was on again off again with school from 2011-2014. Now I'm back in school on a part time basis and I'm fortunate enough to be able to pay for these classes as I go. Next Summer I'm quitting my job and going to school full time (nursing school), so RIP my finances but it'll be worth it for my future.

 

I’ll look into that.

I’m unemployed and with no income in the foreseeable future. Idk what I’m going to do about anything.

 

The technical term is "prepayment penalty." If you get your loan refinanced, make sure it doesn't have that.

Have you checked with your lenders about deferment? Even if it is a private loan, they will likely have options for you.

 

My first payment was supposed to be in June. I used two of my 36 months. I figured I’d be fine by now. I don’t want to use any more.

 

34 months is a long time! Definitely check on income based repayment, even if it is a private loan. If they don't have it, you can likely get the loan refinanced by another lender who does offer income based repayment. With manageable payments you may not need to use many more of those 36 months. Also, prepayment penalties for student loans are illegal in the US. Once you get back on your feet finance wise you can pay as much as you want monthly.

I know this is the mental health thread and is partly for venting, but I just want people to know there are options.

 

Nah, I appreciate the help!

 

Good luck! And I don't mean that in a sarcastic way.

I saw how much work those in the nursing program had to do and it was crazy.