Ive been having breakdowns daily, I'm so fucked up cus all the relationships in my life have their cancer, friends are liars & fake, "family" wishes to ruin and control and justify via racism - so i disowned them (outside my dad and brother), Brittany and I been on the rocks cus of all the strain and stress, things that never should've happened have. And I'm the villain in most eyes for being so upset by my family's racism, friends lies/fakeness, and Brittany's dishonesty on the situation atm? I never felt so out in the cold, uncertain, alone, and broken. I appreciate @Mary V being an ear, and my ex/best friend Ash been SUPER HELPFUL since she knows my demons so well since she has so many of the same.... but god I don't know how long I can carry this on.
I'm taking the lowest doseage of Wellutrin right now and it hasn't really been doing much for me or helping at all. It's been a little over a month since I started.
It helped me for a few months immediately detoxing from heroin again since my dopamine was fucked, but it definitely leveled off and I tried increasing dose which didn't work so a month ago I started Zoloft and like it way more
I gotcha...I've got seasonal affective disorder so I get depressed in the winter a lot and this is my first time really doing something about it, so I'm just trying to see what works. I might talk to my dr about increasing the dosage. I'm taking it in conjunction with adderall for my ADHD as well.
That is really good to hear because I can't keep smoking and I really shouldn't take the benzos...today I slept 11 hours on the trazodone so that's good but also bad because I can't wake up at noon on weekdays. Looks like I'm going to try cutting one of these in half and hoping for the best. But damn it was good to sleep that long. edit: my doc also plans to wean me down to 150 mg/day (instead of 300) of the wellbutrin, looking forward to that too.
what up fellow SAD sufferers, it's the winter solstice and now we can all enjoy the swing back to long bright days! wooo
Do you do anything for it? My only self care is imagining Lana Del Rey calling it Wintertime Sadness which makes me chuckle
I spend as much time in the sun during the day as I can. I used to have a sunlamp but got rid of it during the great move to California 2015. Silly of me.
home for five hours already getting the feeling it's about to be a holiday of everyone in my family silently judging me for being a huge fuck up. granted I did recently fuck something up pretty bad but still the vibes from everyone are not good
fuck 'em. try to let it roll right off you. edit: seriously. what you're doing is hard (and if you are referring to a relapse of any kind, that is part of recovery, shit happens). if they can't recognize that, at the very least, idk dude.
it's not a relapse but it's not exactly unrelated hard to really describe but yeah I could just be being paranoid but I know there's some unspoken feelings and I'm feeling weird. Hopefully it passes quick
well either way, keep your head up edit: fwiw, i slip into addictive behavior far too often still. isn't a relapse but still me being a dry drunk. something to work on in 2018.
Does the sunlamp/lightbox thing work?? My gf and my adhd psychologist had mentioned it but I was skeptical.
Yeah i’ve been trying my best to get out for walks during my lunch breaks at work. I have high cubicle walls and my desk is nowhere near a window so I gotta do whatever I can.
I hear ya on the cubicle thing. My office just did a big remodel - we lost all our privacy because the cube walls are short, but we all can see the windows now ha
Wanted to confront coworker today. We never had the office alone tho. And I know I could've asked her to come talk to me somewhere else, but I guess just knowing myself I'd immediately feel suspicious and defensive if someone I never spoke to did that, and I didn't wanna start it on that foot? Idk. I did call a therapist, tho nobody answered so I left a message.
Thanks! Hoping it works out. The therapist is out of town and I often work late so I hope we can make something fit! And I'm trying not to die inside thinking about the cost because I honestly have no idea how my insurance is with mental health. Oh well, taking it one step at a time. Hoping they call back soon. I imagine they're already out for the holidays so now I'm gonna be apprehensive waiting for a response!
I managed to luck out with my health insurance covering costs. I think I would only pay a $25 co-payment per visit. But I reached out to the therapist on Monday to set up our first appointment and she hasn't called me back yet. I might reach out again today.
IMO it's a huge pain to figure out which therapists/psychiatrists will actually take your (general you) insurance, but holy hell I'll say again I love my doc. I have coinsurance that pays 60% of my visits, so I end up having to pay $108 per visit. Not great but my therapist has a cash deal $120/session with me because she doesn't take insurance at all.
Feeling anxious rn about everything I have to get accomplished before I leave work today, everything I have to do before the weekend, a fight I had with my gf last night and a huge project that I need to get done before the new year, but will have limited amount of time to do because I'll be one of very few people in the office next week so I'll be picking up the slack. fucking holidays, man.