Mental Health Thread • Page 163

Everything makes me burst into tears

 

We love you @Mary V You can reach out anytime on here or Facebook

 

love you bud

 

feeling better. going home next week is gonna be a nice reset. my family always makes me feel so supported and welcome. im incredibly lucky. living a thousand miles away just hurts

 

had a really really really good therapy sesh today. the downside is that its making me crush on her more. i understand its not her, specifically, its just the fact i can sit with her and feel safe, comfortable, and just be myself. everyone else in my life just makes me feel tense and like shit.

 

I have that sucky numb feeling like I just don't care. Like I wouldn't say suicidal or anything but that I feel "eh" towards everything, including like existing. I can't remember the last time I came home excited or happy. I just feel empty. I come home and either stress or zone out, and then sleep. I'm not really living. I need to make changes. I can def look for new jobs soon but I feel like I need to push myself out of my comfort zone and change my life in multiple ways.

 

I feel you, and it's tough because I don't know what I want or what will bring me joy so I just have to try and hope for the best and maybe that won't work, fuck that shit
and then I just feel bad because other people are happy and am I just a robot, and wallowing only makes it worse

 

Yeah I try to think of what brings me joy and I do love my family and am close to them so I have that. But I don't have many friends and the ones I do have have kids and stuff and aren't always accessible. My best friend always seems busy with other friends and I feel like a backup plan for her. Work has been awful. I don't really have any hobbies or outlets. I know I need to search for something i enjoy but I also lack motivation or feel like it's pointless. part of me thinks I need to just say screw it and do like a less out of touch Eat Pray Love.

 

Yep, this is my life at the moment. I hope the empty feeling fades away for you soon

 

I should come in here more often but I don't know guess i have a hard time expressing exactly how I feel and its scary to open up and be vulnerable.

 

It's weird having an album that you love and is very relatable and real but at the same time might be a detriment because it sorta enables u to wallow and feel more sad afterwards. Like it's feeding into things.

 

Hey Colin! This is a good place. Take your time to express your feelings and remember that everyone here is kind, supportive and non judgmental.

 

I know this feeling for real. Sometimes I have to avoid those records altogether and sometimes it's cathartic to just put in some headphones and lay in bed and really sink into those records.

 

I'm kind of going through some weird, difficult shit with my girlfriend. I actually feel pretty good this morning after talking to my friend on the phone for like 2 hours last night, but I know that's going to fade and fade hard. Maybe this would be better suited for the dating and relationships thread, but it's related to both my mental health and hers, so I put it here.

Two people who struggle with anxiety and depression loving and being with each other can kind of suck sometimes.

 

I feel both of these to similar extents. I'm always stressed about the world and then my health.

I can't take a break from reading what's going on anymore though.

 

What I study in school requires me to do that an critically think about it. I'm about to watch some Fox news and read Breitbart for a final paper. Honestly, if I wasn't so close to graduating, I'd just change my major to computer science, because this shit is hurts my soul.

 

im surrounded with ppl who wanna pull my "youve talked about suicide for -x amount of time long- so do it or shut up" type people, ironically the same ppl have joked on me for saving up to getting a shotgun, sending links to one another to shotguns yet begged me for help to sustain themselves. send me those same links baby boy, lets see how that goes.
the holidays are coming and i can say openly i hope all blood but my brother and father fall for their bigotry. isnt the first holiday i spent without them....
i've never HATED anyone on this level. "blood is thicker than water" lol sure, but it dont nourish the soul. dont get me started on fake friends.
christmas, like thanksgiving will be gladly spent alone. from mother on down, I want no bond... BECAUSE THEY wanted to ruin my relationship.

I was 7 saying fuck this shit, im almost 30 now.
FUCK.
THIS.
SHIT.

Push away your son for your bigotry, Ill smile as you beg for forgiveness and racist ignorance when I finally have my family. Son disowning his family. Your spite was from weakness, my spite will be from overcoming your toxicity and I'll celebrate.

"I wont be a grandma to your child if (s)hes half-"

Great FUCK YOU, id never want my child to grow around hate. Die. We have enough of your toxicity you cancerous fuck. Die alone.

 

Absolutely hate the feeling where I feel like people are laughing at me. Just makes me want to not say anything at all and go hide in a cave

 

Drugs have completely ruined me mentally forever. Fuck

 

I have my first appointment with a therapist later today. I've never been to one before. They said it's more of an assessment than anything. I'm kinda looking forward to it though.

 

Ugh preach. For much of the year I feel fine, but in the fall/winter months I feel that disinterest you feel and it sucks. I tried to explain it to my gf and the best way I can put it is like getting pulled out of everything 3-dimensional and being put into 2D if that makes sense. Like, I know there are good things going for me and around me, but I don't get any enjoyment. It's as if everything is gray.

 

Yup, I'm on that boat right now too. It's part of the reason I'm starting therapy today. I wanna get better not just for my own sake but for her too.

 

mmm.

Loneliness can damage health, triggering inflammation and neurological changes

 

Well that's me fucked then. Not that that news is all that surprising.


Never did hear back from that job I interviewed with, wouldn't even respond to my emails asking about it. Did hear from one job today that I apparently applied to. It's a bit over my head and I don't have much confidence they really would be seriously interested in me, but I'll still give it a shot. Call will be Wednesday.

 

I think my bff is going thru a rough patch. We used to live together and I moved out cause she was so irresponsible but towards the end there it was like ridiculous how undependable she was. The last few times we've hung out she gets super drunk and high, like awkwardly more so than the ocassion calls for. Last time I saw her it was cause she called me drunk at 3am in the middle of the week. Right before I moved out she was in a really bad accident and was life flighted and everything and idk. I think that made it worse. Her bf is awful and I know he is at the least emotionally and verbally abusive but now I have reason to think he's physically abusive as well. And my stepmom says she comes in her work to drink a lot like every single night. We're not in touch much anymore but i reached out cause I'm concerned but she's being wishy washy. She told me she's free literally any day and I am thinking she's not working anymore? She told me she got a settlement for her accident but I haven't caught up with her in so long idek where she is in life or what's going on. But I know when I was in my abusive relationship she kept in touch and was there for me the day I ended it, like she was waiting for me, and now I feel like she's in a similar situation but probably worse cause she seems to be spiralling and I wanna do for her what she did for me, but idk how. We've drifted because my feelings have been hurt the last few times we've hung out, but I'm def concerned.