Mental Health Thread • Page 162

The current political climate, and also the previous political climate--fuck, the entirety of American liberal ideology/theory--really fucks me up on a regular basis. I can't possible picture myself in recovery, when the literal world I live in triggers relapses on a regular basis.

I'm hoping medication will be able to help me get along through the day-to-day, but its hard to imagine that it will.

 

My anxiety over health issues is a real bitch....I can never tell if I’m developing new/serious symptoms of some disease, symptoms of something simple like a sinus headache, or if my anxiety is giving me these symptoms. Bleh.

 

Days like today make me wish CBD were legal everywhere.

 

Hey all, I posted this in the dating thread but I suppose it could apply here too. I'm just in a bad way right now because I had a shitty day yesterday with my depression/anxiety and it's been affecting my relationship for 2 months now while I've been trying to get it all under control. Last night I tried to explain how I was feeling to my gf b/c I could tell something was on her mind but she shut me out saying that she didn't want to talk about it, she can't live like this and nothing's gonna change...then this morning she hardly said a word to me so I went about my business prepping her lunch and coffee, starting her car and folding some laundry. Before she walked out the door she said that I don't need to do all of these things for her because she's been getting herself ready in the morning for 35 years. She did thank me but didn't kiss me goodbye or anything. Just said "see you later, have a good day" and walked out.

I hardly know what to feel. It hurts enough to know my depression affects her this way, but it also hurts to feel like someone you love isn't supportive of you

 

I feel extremely out of it today and not like myself. I've been better the past month with these kinds of bouts, but today is been pretty bad with it.

 

Hey seriously - you'll work through it. It's fine. The other thread became an unnecessary mess after a while. I just hope you understand where people were coming from. Relax or something and reflect. And don't worry about the movie, if you won't see it this week, you'll see it eventually/soon.

 

Oooh I know what you mean. :( I was like that the other day. Hugs

 

just want to echo what storm said. Anything I said in that thread directed towards you was not malicious. No one wants you to leave the site. Take some time to relax. I look forward to you returning and posting on the site again soon, my dude.

 

Don't beat yourself up too harshly over the other thread. I too don't think there was any sort of malicious intent in the initial response to what you posted. Just people wanting to offer constructive criticism. Sometimes the tone of such criticism doesn't always translate properly online, obviously. Take some time to yourself, clear your head, enjoy the movie and everything will be alright.

 

I hope your therapy session went well and that u continue posting but if u need to take a break for the sake of mental health, do whatever u need to take care of urself

 

Early in my day, the thought "I don't want to die" popped into my head. I recognized it right away--it felt foreign to me, because for the past few months, almost everyday I've had the exact opposite of that thought.

However, that somewhat good feeling faded, and faded, and I'm now left with a sort of apathetic neutral state. I had a lot of caffeine and as a consequence, I think it amplified my anxiety. Prob doesn't help that I'm averaging 3hrs of sleep due to the asking of work I have art the end of the semester.

 

Been having a really tough time at work and my sister has been having a tough time in life and she asked me to grab dinner with her and I was excited because I really needed it and then she cancelled. So now my outlet is gone and I'm hungry lol. She asked to do something Friday but it will prob end up being a hangout at my dad's which is fine, but less conducive to the type of therapeutic convo I wanted to have. Bummed. I'm having dinner with a friend tomorrow so I'll be fine but I just needed it today

 

I think it's over and has had a neat enough resolution but I wouldn't let internet drama bother you too much. Personally if it's something you see as beneficial, I'd take a break but if you don't deem it necessary I wouldn't bother. Personally I stopped posting in the music section because of a lot of assholes but luckily enough most of them have left!

 

Nothing is worse than plans I'm looking forward to getting cancelled.

 

Yeah they were kinda short notice plans but also just what I needed and it picked up my whole day. And now I'm like oh lol. Feeling unmotivated to leave my house to find food. Which is sad because I live right above a pizza place ha. But meh.

 

That sucks, at least the day is almost over? I'm hungry too.

 

About 5 years ago I had a concussion and I've noticed that ever since then I forget things so much more easily. I used to have an amazing memory and now my short term memory is complete garbage. Laura can tell me not to forget to do something, and I'll forget it within 5 minutes. I'm not sure if that's associated with "just being a part of getting older" or due to the concussion or both. But it's had me very anxious about the possibility of things becoming worse. I'm not sure where I should be talking about that but I figure this is a good place. I think I finally understand the "fear of getting old" in a way I didn't understand before, and I'm constantly worrying now. I know it's just been small things here and there as far as my memory goes, but I don't want to eventually forget so many parts of the wonderful life I get to live.

 

I've been worried about this for years and all of my friends are 25+ and they are just like "dude, just wait."

I don't want to do that haha.

So yeah, I "feel you", but only kind of. I have a thing with my right eye that's probably from something similar.

 

I forget a lot of things but that's because my anxiety makes me disassociate, but yeah brains are so mysterious I understand the concern hope it's okay

 

Yeah this is also me as well haha

 

Ugh, totally me.

 

This is so real. So much of my drug use is fueled by a dissociation between what I believe and what those around me and society believes and the feelings of abandonment it creates

 

Bad day, decent reprieve earlier, but even worse night.

I keep trying to hold myself and things together but end up left endlessly lonely or in a recovery position... I can't keep this up.

 

Had a panic attack for the first time in ages earlier. Dad came home from work yelling. I've been waiting for my mail to arrive all day and deliberately held off taking my dog for a walk. My sister came home with her boyfriend and while he's nice enough, I hate having extra people in the house without any warning. I was alone most of the day and I want everyone to leave again

 

Dissociation is so nice when you can't stand the lower half of your body thanks dysphoria

I called my doctor on Monday and left a message on her non-emergency line, waited the 72 hours for her to call me back and she didn't, so I called up again yesterday. Told the receptionist how I haven't been sleeping (4 benedryl just to sleep for a couple hours) and my anxiety is up (among other things), and she cuts me off and says "If you can't sleep you can't function. You need to come in" and it's like NO SHIT LADY that's why I called MONDAY...

so I'm going in for an appointment this coming Monday lol. My doc had already gone home for the day yesterday so the other doc in the office sent in an rx for trazadone to sleep. Which would have been awesome if I hadn't already told my doc that I don't like taking it because it leaves me groggy and hungover the next day...so that's why we we having me try Benedryl lol fuck I just want to sleep like a normal person for more than 4 hours at a time, and maybe if we could, not have my brain constantly going "scene missing" when I picture my body.