Mental Health Thread • Page 149

Speaking of outlet for a second.. I always used my creativity for that.... poetry/doodles/comics... music too as an obvious one too. But I found using the feels to create something made me feel good... and in a way "trapped those feelings" in that piece - of course not totally but it almost was always an emotional bloodletting of sorts to get that bad shit out and then work on a recoop effort.
It's ironic depression is what pushed me to wanna try poetry, and now my poetry is one thing I have total confidence in myself over. Funny how that goes.

 

This girl I was really into, recently came back into my life. She has a bf now after shafting me. She admit to me that I was totally right and apologized but it's obviously too late for us to be anything. I'm going through stuff now so I told her politely, can you not mention him or at least if you can't stop then don't talk to me for awhile because it hurts. She just wouldn't f-ing stop, to the point where it felt like she was rubbing it in my face. She kept talking about how great he was and all this stuff he does when it has nothing to do with any subject we discuss.

I finally told her, I can't deal with that anymore. I said "I told you very clearly how this effects me and you keep shoving it in my face and upsetting me. I just can't talk to you anymore, it's making me miserable." I took a nap and woke up to her bf sending me a message acting super tough and basically starting with "I know you have issues going on but..." and well, you can imagine the rest. I know he wouldn't say that to my face, he clearly doesn't know how to deal with people going through shit (which is awful because she's supposedly with him because he understands hers) and tried to add to the anger I was already feeling.

I just told her to make him stop and leave me alone. I'm glad that's over. I feel like I'm in fking high school. The great excuse of "I didn't give him your ___, I was just talking to him. Idk how he got that." Just like, grow up!

It really sucks not having friends, I don't have anyone to really vent to. It would've helped me a lot.

 

Also the new therapist I met seems pretty cool, she gets it way more.

 

My whole group of friends had a little get together tonight for my friend who came to visit from Seattle since he was an OG group member.

It was so nice to just have everyone enjoy hanging but dang it reminded us all how crazy time is and how much everyone has grown.

 

Feeling stressed really stressed out by a family situation at the moment.

Without wanting to take up too much time - about 11 years ago my dad had an affair and left, he married the woman (my mum's best friend) and my mum also remarried.

Fast forward to today, we're baptising my daughter in a couple of weeks and we've invited all the family to a little party we're throwing. My dad came over the other day and asked if his now wife is invited and I had to say no because my mum will obviously be there and it would be too painful for her to see my dad with the woman he cheated on her with. My dad then got really upset, saying how unfair it is that my step-dad will get to be at the baptism but not his wife. It got super awkward, neither of us are good at really speaking our minds, so he left without anything being resolved, and I've been feeling shit about it ever since. Even had a dream about arguing with my dad last night so I woke up feeling even worse.

I don't think I've been unreasonable, but I thought I'd got to a better place with my dad, we're at a point where I can spend time with his partner, the only reason she isn't invited is out of consideration for my mum. But this has opened back up all the old wounds, I feel my dad has never fully accepted the consequences of having an affair and just expects me and my brother to let him have his cake and eat it. And now I'm worried that the situation is going to ruin my daughter's baptism, which should be a really special happy day.

Sorry for the long post, just want to get things off my chest and make sure that I'm not a complete dickhead.

 

You're not being unreasonable at all, and it sucks when things that went down so long ago can impact a special event. My parents both cheated and divorced 11 years ago and every occasion of mine or my sisters they attend at the same time turn into the biggest deal. Don't let the drama and past sour what is a really happy and special occasion. You're making the right decision. It is your call to make. Rest easy and enjoy your child's baptism.

 

Thanks :) I appreciate that

 

Taking a mental health day.

Don't work 30 days straight, kids.

 

this has been one of the most taxing mental health weeks in a while. I don't think I've cried this much in my life. No sleeping or eating, either. It's been rough.

 

i hate myself and im so sad.

 

Simple Plan voice
welcome to my life

 

I've went through this around the same time frame of my grandpa being diagnosed with cancer (lost him in 2013) on valentines day of 2011. I'm sorry life has been so hard... I have my days too but I will say I've found that finding new meaning been so important when loss compounds over years. It's easy to get lost. Trust me, that's like my MO, sadly.... but I've realized that's so key.
Best wishes, sorry you're struggling if you ever need plenty of ears here I go back and forth with belief and doubt myself but finding any belief over time and just finding way in the haze been everything....

 

I overreact and I don't know how to stop it.

 

I do too, do you ever notice that like... say at work or so, you rational with the scale or reaction and say with family/loved ones/comfort zones you aren't? I notice I'm like that and I feel bad a lot. But not about me, I just ask cus sometimes I see that and try and check myself based off what I respect per situation.

Is there perhaps a reason you react so strongly you haven't addressed? Perhaps that modern situations may trigger? (For me it was fam never respecting stuff/talking over/telling rather than listening, to this day I realize I 0 to 60 on ppl for even getting that air slightly, even if wrong ._.)

 

Yeah it's with my closest friend of 8 years and my ex that I keep getting close to and then that implodes over and over again. Basically I realize that I expect too much of them and as time goes on we are different and I don't feel respected or appreciated but I overreact to the smallest issues and just want to cut them off.

 

chin up bud, I was deep in a hole a year ago and am at a place i never thought i would be again. it's not the top of the mountain by any means, but it will get better for you. at least i hope

 

I fully respect this. My best friends that grew up as brothers from anothers split over this exact situation, and I was their like adopted brother/became one's BEST FRIEND/BROTHER and we got split from the other when they split situation. I wish I had advice..... I would say if it feels any way spiteful, leave.... if it's something genuine they just stumbled upon remove yourself for awhile.... and give it time, no need to lose a friend if it's understandable. If it's a special ex, TOTALLY understand. But I don't know.... I feel both sides, "FUCK YOU BOTH" or "Try and make it work" to cus I seen both residuals.

Sorry friend, best of luck, best "advice" I can give. Just do what you feel is right, just avoid spite before distancing.

 

been through this hardcore.

what i've learned through studying therapy and trauma healing is that an emotional overreaction or trigger is a "protective self" that overcompensates for underlying shame/emotional wounds.

best thing i've found for this is self-therapy (ifs) by jay early. really breaks down how to dive into your emotions/trauma, process them, and heal them so that the protective overreaction no longer has to exist. really amazing stuff and wish i had it when i was younger, could've prevented a lot of suffering.

also great is the revolutionary trauma release process by david berceli. great for grounding you in your body and getting the stress out of your physiology (since the mind and body are intimately connected).

much love and you can 100% percent overcome this

 

I'm miserable. shit really fucking sucks rn.

 

Ok, wow, I need to stay away from some people on the internet. Had an argument with a moron who literally said "sexual assault isn't black and white" in the same hour I saw some tragic, awful #MeToo tweets.

 

Thank you both a lot! I've gotten a lot better but something happened Saturday and my reaction to it made me feel like I set myself back. I'll definitely look into those books.

 

What has everyone had luck with in terms of medication to combat anxiety/depression? I was on sertraline for a year and it helped a lot but really killed my drive, however life is weird right now and think I may be well off to make an appointment with my behavioral health doc and try something new.

 

I had the biggest rollercoaster weekend and I'm just so exhausted from it. The weekend itself was amazing (great friends at a great cabin doing fun things), but I had personal issues come up the whole time (bank's card processor went down so I couldn't pay for anything, car overheated, had issues with feeling sick, etc).

I don't do well with rollercoastering situations, especially when it's entirely out of my control.

 

Took a step today and called about therapy/counseling. Hoping for the best going forward.

I know I should've done this forever ago, but John Green's new book, Turtles All the Way Down, about mental health/ocd/anxiety really spurred me into action, thankfully.

 

I have a group of friends that have been with me for almost ten years now.

We all live in different places, so we use a group chat and Google Hangouts to keep in touch. I've been struggling with life and adjusting to my new job and actually having friends I can spend time with in person, so I have been less active in that group chat than normal. A lot of the time, the things they say to me in that chat are just incredibly insensitive or unhelpful, so I have opened up less and less in there. I just don't feel supported by the people who have been my closest friends for a long time.

Today, I was torn a new one and told that I don't care about them because I wasn't available to help with someone's job application and I've been busy with real life stuff so I haven't been in video calls lately. Like, one person specifically said "You're showing that you don't care".

These people have been part of my life for a long time, but they don't seem to understand me at all.