Mental Health Thread • Page 141

In order to use my insurance to see a psychiatrist:

Go on insurance site.
Geolocate a potential pool.
Find one that lists LGBT in their list of shit they treat, so that I know I'm not getting a homophobe/transphobe.
Go to doc's website site.
She books appointments online. Nothing via phone. Okay.
Have to sign up for this third party booking service.
Enter all info. Do you know just how many PPOs are out there? A lot, and my card just says "PPO." Make guess as to which I have.
Hit submit. The time I picked is no longer available.
Scream internally.
Finally schedule something for Sept 13.

It's cool though, I'll just stay under medicated for a couple more weeks.

 

Ohhhh you are not alone

 

Anything specific bothering you?

 

Yesterday I felt the horrible depression fog for the first time in months. I was looking into school stuff so I can finish my last couple credits and turns out even thinking about school makes me feel depressed.

 

You're so close. I believe in you and your ability to finish up school. You'll do great.

 

Just wrote this on FB...no fucks given lol

This is about depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. If you don't want to read a VERY serious post right now please skip. I don't care if this is inappropriate for facebook or inappropriate to admit. The stigma with mental health has gone on far too long. The suicide rate is sky-high because people never feel like they can talk about it. I've gotten to the point where I don't care and can fully admit I've had problems with it. Last year I struggled with a very serious bout of the deepest, darkest depression and anxiety of my life. I couldn't sleep because I was in constant fear of something bad happening, I would shake violently and my skin would crawl. All my husband could do was try to hold me but it wouldn't help. I felt unattached to my body and could not physically feel him holding me. I didn't want to go out into the world because I thought everything and everyone was evil. I had to stop listening to the news altogether because it was making things much worse. I constantly cried about my niece, nephews, parents, siblings, and kids I nanny for. I had never felt more alone in my life and had suicidal thoughts because I didn't want to be a part of a world that seemed so terrifying. I would never act on those thoughts ever, but I'm just saying that they were there. All of this chaos was simply due to me not being on the right medicine that worked for me. Things have done a complete 180 now that I'm back on the right medicine. Today I was listening to the song "Choir" by Perfume Genius when all those thoughts and feelings came rushing back to me. That song perfectly encapsulates the way I was feeling at the time. Then I listened to the song "Alan" by Perfume Genius. This song represents to me the relief and comfort of the those feelings slowly but surely subsiding. I bawled with relief when I first heard it. I've shared the song below. I've posted all this because I hope it might help some people that are struggling. You are not alone, weird, or bad. There are a lot of people feeling the same things but just aren't saying anything. Anyone feel free to message me if you need to talk.

 

Thanks for the words of encouragement

 

If you get one tell me how it goes, I've been wanting one for a long time but it's such a huge investment

 

I don't know how to shoulder my partner's mental illness along with my own. It's like two blind people leading each other wildly through life and it's not working.

 

That's my issue here too. $$$ but I heard it's helpful so I'll probably take the plunge sooner or later

 

Checking in. How's everyone doing?

 

Still have the sinking feeling? I wish I could say hang in there and you'd magically feel better. It's not a perfect world :( Please know that you are not alone.

 

Tired, frustrated, and lacking in hope to high enough levels that I'm struggling to even fall asleep for short amounts of time.

Could be doing worse though, so I guess that's OK.

 

I'm sorry to hear this. I wish I could stand with you and @ComedownMachine and we could talk this stuff out. Please message me if needed or keep this thread going strong. I know there's a lot of warm support here.

 

Happy Monday everyone! I hope everyone has a good start to the week. If not, we're here!

 

Thanks! She ended up writing back and we are meeting up tonight. I am so nervous because of my social anxiety that I feel like I'm going to throw up. I was going to cancel this morning but decided I need to make myself go. I'm literally thinking up a list of topics to talk about lol

 

I'm glad that it seems like it's going to work out well!!

 

What? It doesn't!...

 

Of course it does! Don't cancel

 

Has anyone her dealt with the combo of anxiety/nausea? I don't know what's come over me but within the last few months or so I have become perpetually anxious regarding doing new things and along with that anxiety I feel very nauseous. It's really affected my day to day life. I tried to perform music in front of people and I had to back out because I knew that the second I'd open my mouth to sing I'd probably throw up. I had a job interview and nearly threw up the whole ten minutes before it started. I had my first day of classes today and felt very nauseated and then he started talking about how later in the month we will be doing class presentations and I'm honestly terrified. I wasn't always this way and I'm typically a very confident guy and I'm not sure what's going on and I'm afraid that this will last forever. For some reason my I'm allowing myself to be overly concerned with the future and it affects my present. Like, I get that anxiety and stuff is just my body reacting and is separate from who I actually am but I can't seem to get over it and I'm so frustrated.

Side note: I just moved from the Bay Area to SoCal, I'm starting at a new school, I need to get a new job so, I guess my body/mind are undergoing a lot of stress but this just isn't like me. Any tips would be appreciated

 

Yeah before I got to the bottom paragraph I was def gonna bring up the move. That's a big change that would throw anyone off. You're in a totally different element now and that's super scary but you're off to a great start because you were brave enough to even do that so you know you have that strength in you.

Everything I do is super simple so prob not helpful lol but be a STAR! Stop, Take a deep breath, And Relax! It's obv but reminding myself to do that has really helped. I used to think it was corny but focusing on breathing instead of what's stressing me out gives me that pause to remind myself that I'm safe. With silly anxiety things I take my breaths and focus on the stuff I can control, and try not to stress about things I can't help or change. And with stuff like public speaking I always remind myself that tbh aside from like that one token person in every class, everyone HATES public speaking. Srsly the only thing the rest of the class is thinking about while ur talking is the dread of when they're next. Recently I was put on the spot to speak publicly and I declined because I was anxious, but afterwards I regretted it because I think I drew more attention to myself by NOT speaking than I would have if I did speak. I used to be so intimidated and scared by other people because I guess I felt like they were somehow these normal competent people and I was this one fumbling weirdo trying to not screw it up lol, but as I've gotten older I've realized that most people are actually really insecure themselves and are very supportive/nice of others and we're all just trying to fumble our way thru everything, and the cliche of reminding myself that we're all human helps me a lot.



tl;dr idk I remind myself of the basics a lot and it helps.

 

Eating raw ginger everyday cut down on my nausea from anxiety big time. Ginger Ale helps. A Phenergan prescription knocked it completely out but that shit made me sleep too much.

 

How'd it go?

 

Very much appreciate the advice.

@AelNire Do you know why ginger helps with that exactly? Also, you would just eat a chunk of ginger?

 

It works as an anti inflammatory and relaxes the stomach and intestinal tract. I just buy a ginger root and slice off pieces. They don't have to be big. It's really hard to get used to the taste but it's worth it. You can make ginger tea as well but I just chew it up raw.