Mental Health Thread • Page 137

I feel like my demons will eventually consume me

 

been having a lot of personal mental highs and lows ive not said to many in my personal life [frustrating getting others opinions who care [thus strong] but don't really understand, making me question what I know, need that solo time to breathe & think] but I been thinking a lot and since come out with a lil bit of clarity while still lost in the dark... I've just always struggled with being comfortable in my own skin whatever skin that may be at the time to the point sometimes in life in the past I either had no identity and wanted to be invisible or attached to things I liked/was doing for such. at times seeming perpetually in phases.
as I got older it was more so balancing the fact I have such a strong desire for giving/having love/sharing life as well as genuinely not liking people and definitely being nihilistic, and not being forced in either side of attending to either. dancing around with a fake smile cus depression ain't exactly winning the love ramble vs. the recluse suffocating in public, feeling behind bars around people. the fake strong side that knows theres strength unknown but no idea how to wield it vs. the overbearing side that has no idea how to not push away with each touch cus the defense mechanisms are so destructive.

I'm learning that about myself and how to balance, I guess the next step is just fitting that into life/the world. I genuinely am a soft/big hearted person, as well as frustrated/angry, the thing is both sides demand their respect otherwise I don't/didn't function. Balance with understanding I guess.

 

I feel entirely alone

 

This week has been strange. Over the weekend, anxiety was through the roof. Spent all of Saturday night crying and feeling ready to throw up at any second. Sunday was nice. My week started well, until a guy wolf whistled at me on Tuesday and another guy approached me on Wednesday, seemed nice enough, until he put his arm around me without my consent and held me tight and wouldn't let go until I put in a time to see him next week (I'm not going to - but I was terrified, and he had a friend with him who laughed at any sign of my discomfort). Ugh. Tomorrow night I'm seeing There Will Be Blood with the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra performing Jonny's score, so I'm excited about something! Just all over the place

 

Side effects are keeping me up at night with the Prozac so far. Felt like I was on the edge of puking all last night

 

What's going on? We're here to listen

 

The up and down is definitely the worst! Hopefully the concert can give you a fun night that'll keep your mind from being too busy!

 

Omg that performance sounds amaaaaaazing.

 

Sometimes I feel like no matter how hard I try and how much progress I feel I make, I still just end up stuck in the same spot and wonder why I even bothered trying at all. I just want things to move along and am left feeling like they never will.

 

Thank you! I really appreciate it.

It should be!! I'll post about it afterwards for sure!

 

Is there anyone who has switched from prozac to another ssri? I haven't been on antidepressants in nearly a decade, but have been thinking of going back on them over the past year, but did not find prozac to be helpful for me when I was on it.

 

I hate that every time I have expectations for anything, I am let down. This time it wasn't anyone's fault so for once it wasn't a flaky person let down, but things not aligning right. It just makes my cynicism build because it's like I can never get excited for anything because it will never pan out, so I constantly have to be apathetic to avoid being disappointed.

 

Been a bad couple of nights.

 

Haven't had a shift in a week because summers are slow and a coworker wanted to swap this week's schedule with me, so I work Wednesday and Thursday instead of today and tomorrow.

My coworkers are hilarious...
My 32 year old head chef boss came
half-sprinting out the back door last week yelling "THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IS HERE" and came back with a fucking massive cone. He's a big dude covered in tattoos which made it funnier.

My friends are really busy still, I guess this is adulthood. Some people have wanted to hang out but it just hasn't panned out.

I'm just really low right now. So many things have changed in the last few months that some of it doesn't feel real. Ima go listen to music. Was catching up on 2016 and 2015 albums, Julien Baker and nick cave were maybe too heavy for me right now lol.

Still I have plans for the future, I'm still employed, I have things I want to accomplish. I guess things just eb and flow sometimes. and I guess it's good that I'm mostly just feeling restless instead of on a ledge or numb

 

I got a mole removed once. It was weird cause I couldn't feel it being removed but I like imagined how it should feel and it freaked me out lol. And I have a lil scar now so boo. But i couldn't feel a thing!

 

Totally get this. I have a mole on my cheek and got bullied in school about it. I always wanted it removed when I was younger but my mom told me it was my "beauty mark" and to leave it alone. I still have it but I did have moles removed on my neck and it wasn't bad at all! You got this!!

 

I feel this. Had a big one below my lip and was bullied forever for it. Had it removed in high school. The after care for it sucked, because I had stitches and couldn't open my mouth very wide because of where it was. After that though, no problems.

I was put to sleep for the actual removal. They used a laser I think

 

I'm crying and idk why
Got brave enough to go on tinder and I saw my ex in a pic with her friend and I'm just kinda feeling lost

I'm trying to talk to my friends maybe it'll help

I just feel so bad and I don't know what to do I feel like nothing will help

 

So. The Australian government is bringing back the plebiscite on marriage equality. It won't get passed through the Senate, but it'll become a postal plebiscite instead! Great! All the young people who support marriage equality aren't old enough to vote. The homophobes will be out in full force. The whole plebiscite cost $122 million. The government couldn't just legalise it in parliament, or have a free vote, they'll only play MORE political games with so many lives - including mine. I'm fuming, I'm very upset by all the hate already spewing out (and it won't be over until November) but mostly, I just want to switch it all off. My heart hurts for all the kids in our community who are being told their love isn't equal, their fucking lives aren't equal. I'm sorry if this isn't the right place to post this... it's been a very tough few days and I don't know how I'll get through the next few months. Marriage equality might not even be legal at the end of this. It hurts so much already

 

man i'm so tired of living. after i lost my wallet last friday (2nd time in 4 wks) i broke down and really wished i had a way to off myself. taking a break from therapy hasn't been good but i don't have the energy to set something up with a new one. classes start in a few weeks and i'm hoping this depressive episode will wear off much by that time; i can barely get out of bed to eat.

 

Almost a week on the Prozac. The side effects have not been bad like they were the first couple of days

 

I feel like everything at work is just blah and I'm just so ready for my vacation. I really want it to be a mental reset and get my life straight.

 

Only the first week of working two jobs and I'm already totally burnt out.

 

Just switched my prescription from Lexapro to Wellbutrin, so we'll see how that goes

 

Good luck, let us know how it goes. If you don't mind me asking, what's making you switch? I've been on Lexapro for a while and have been thinking about trying something else.