Mental Health Thread • Page 13

The world we live in (in America or maybe any first world country). We like to hear ourselves complain more than anything and we barely know how to do anything else.

 

eh i think that's a piece of it but i'm hesitant to reduce it down to "bah us Americans are always so self-absorbed and negative." it's not untrue but i think it doesn't have enough information to help individuals improve

 

I don't. I will try anything though. I'll do some research. Thank you!

 

I haven't thought about killing myself in a while. Go me!!

 

We had a shooting a while back which is super rare for this area. I never knew who was involved until I saw the front pic on the paper and it was my coworker crying cause she was in the house and witnessed her rm get shot in the leg and another guy get shot like 30 times and killed. She was always SO sweet and I know when I worked with her she was in an abusive situation with a bf and cops did nothing for her so I just feel so awful for her and the hand she was dealt and it made me want to cry all day. We're not super close but I see her periodically and I want to do something but idk what

 

Times like this is when I put Anberlin's "Hello Alone" on repeat. The world just makes me feel so small and unwanted. I'm socially awkward so I tend to keep only a handful of close friends and even my close friends feel so distant right now.

Maybe there's hope. There's hope.

 

I had a job interview today that I felt went well today, but now I'm here wanting to cry because I'm thinking that it was a bad idea and how deep down, I don't really want to work for this company even though I fit the requirements because I still have a sliver of hope that I can be a medical tech and have a real career instead of a string of part-time jobs with different places.

 

I am actually pulling my hair out for the second week in a row over these case studies we have every Wednesday for my Media Management class. One group gets an A, one group gets a B, and one group gets a C. I've never had an issue with group projects, but I took charge of the first one and now my group has literally done next to nothing on the last two. They refuse to do any work without me there and I'm always left staying up the night before to finish the bulk of it. I can't do it anymore. I have so much to do. I'm weighing the ethics of taking a mental health day tomorrow and letting them handle the presentation themselves.

I don't even care about getting the C at this point. I'm torn between being a pushover, stressing myself out all night and probably getting the C and just letting myself step away completely for once and accepting the C. Except I can't do that. I'm not that kind of person. And it's killing me.

Sorry, I know this doesn't seem like a huge issue, but it's more or less indicative of a lot of mental and emotional issues I'm facing right now.

 

I relate to this so hard.

 

I desperately want a career, but all I'm ending up with in my life is a string of crappy part time jobs and wasting four years of prerequisite classes for programs that I have a 1 in 5 chance of getting in. I'm really at a loss on what to do with myself, especially since I'm 31 and I feel like a scam for having wasted all these years in school with nothing to show for it.

 

I've been feeling really wonky, off balance and self destructive lately. The isolation of living in a foreign country by yourself where you don't speak the language fluently and having all your friends return to their home countries in the span of 2 months has been a lot. I keep reaching out to different companies/therapists that offer skype counseling to find someone to talk to since I think it would help, but so fair either the time zones don't work out or they won't take my insurance. I wouldn't say it's like SUPER bad, but I'm really scared it's going to get there.

I just wish I didn't feel so trapped and kind of alone.

 

I decided to send a package with a letter and some trinkets to the girl who stopped talking to me after I alienated her with a mental breakdown I had that she got the brunt of in order to set everything straight and apologize for my behaviour, but I keep on having anxiety that it's just going to make everything worse. I can't take more anger from this person. She means a whole lot to me but I can't stop second guessing myself and believing that I'm just going to fail. Every day it's late getting there just sets me more and more on the edge. It takes hours to get out of bed and I feel like shit for even trying to contact her anyways. God. I can't win.

 

Does your teacher expect you to review your peers at the end? If so, they need to go under the bus pretty hard.

 

Oh yeah, there's a group evaluation at the end, so it's not like the amount of work they're putting in won't be reflected in that. It's just that that's long-term, and at this point in time, I'd rather take the C without stressing out than go through this every Tuesday night..

 

Do you think it's genuinely possible to know a job isn't for you after 3-4 weeks?

 

It's very likely. I stuck with a crappy job for eight months because I needed the money and I was very much out of my depth. Pretty sure I was fired because it was kind of transparent that I didn't like it.

 

my boss (only ~3 weeks in this job) said she thinks my project is in good hands :D that'll tide off anxiety forrrr a little while!

 

I had a nice chat with my bestie today about how I've been feeling lately and I thought I'd share what she said for anyone in the same boat as me. I told her about how I've been feeling like a huge failure, mainly cause I haven't graduated yet, I keep failing classes, and I feel like I don't really have any life skills.
What she told me was basically that she feels like people's skills and accomplishments can be broken down into three categories: things you're born with, things you learn/develop that can be quantified or shown with certificates/awards/other physical representations of accomplishment, and things you learn/develop just from living. If you're like me, and you don't have much from the middle category, don't feel like you're a failure, because chances are you have a whole lot from the other two categories!

 

In good news, I landed the job. Now I feel super apprehensive about staying there. Is that normal?

 

I'm not normally one for posting on forums but I've been so low and lonely lately I thought it might help. Long time AP lurker and fairly long time encore listener.

I lost my job about 6 weeks ago and the search for a new one has been pretty rough. It's hard to try and stay strong, pretend you're okay for interviews and stuff and it only gets harder with time. I need some good news soon as I'm borderline exhausted already. I'm lucky I've got amazing friends & family but none of them know what I'm like at my lowest as I'm only really there on my own. It took all my energy just to have a shower yesterday. I suppose I'm also lucky that my feelings have an obvious trigger.

I never meant to write a paragraph, hopefully if someone reading this feels the same they will realise they aren't alone.

 

Congrats!

I think that's a very normal feeling. Anytime I find a new job or new activity I feel as though I'm always looking for my quickest way out of the situation.

Good luck, friend.

 

I'm going to make this vague and maybe sugar coated a bit, but.. I fucked up last night, and now the only person I feel I couldn't live without it upset with me. Then this morning I started having a panic attack in my sleep (I assume since when I woke up I was fully in it already), have already had a second today and it's not even half over for me. My depression has returned after a year of being free from it, and just overall my mental health (which was already in the decline) has totally bombed. I've totally isolated myself, and the only reason I haven't made a third attempt on my life is because of guilt. I know that's a lot, and yes, that is the sugar coated version, and the situation and my current status is worse than that even. But I honestly don't trust anyone to talk to them about it, and strangers on the internet are easier to talk to about this stuff anyways.

 

I finally found a therapist in my general area, I'm finally going on Wednesday. I'm really hoping this helps.

 

I really need to see someone about figuring out the state of my mental health. I've never been diagnosed, but I've never felt like it's been that bad until now. I string of relationships that ended with me heartbroken has left me pretty fucked up. I haven't worked in 8 months. I'm 23 and live with my parents. I feel like this is gonna be the rest of my life and I'm never gonna amount to anything. I'm only really posting this here because it's 3AM and I'm crying for no reason (other than feeling like a piece of shit) and I have no one to talk to.

 

I don't get it. I'm working a job I enjoy and already I'm learning a ton, I have leeway financially, my grades are good, I'm on a bus home to see my family... I feel like being happy would be a shoo-in. But I just kind of feel nauseated and empty.