Well gonna piss dirty for some things when I see my psychiatrist Tuesday just gotta be straight up it's nothing that serious but I just don't like having to tell him yeah I'm doing other shit occasionally when I originally went to him for my opiate problem I kind of downplayed the fact that I have and have always had a problem with substances in general not to the degree it ruined my life but I've always been one to enjoy altering my mind and state of being in some way
Don't be worried if you can. He expects things like that. Self medication is a side effect of mental illness. He's seen it all before 10 fold prob what you're going to tell him. Being open and honest is the only way to getting you on the road to your happiness. I used to feel like a piece of shit when I went in and told her about the drugs I had taken to cope and she never made me feel like it was out of the ordinary. Don't be so hard on yourself if that's possible.
I did this ten years ago and started having panic attacks in the middle of the night. I wish I would've slowly stopped using them.
I don't think I said it here. But finally, here's one good news in my life : I'm accepted as an international student in Montreal. I will live there for one year starting in August and I'm so so so so so so excited. A dream come true.
Yeah you're right. I don't think he'll be mad if I'm like oh I took adderall or whatever to get through a long night of work or I took Xanax to knock myself out when I couldn't sleep like you said he's seen it all I'm probably one of the more mild cases he deals with honestly especially being in Philly where everything is such a huge problem i just get too in my head and don't want to be judged by my doctor but he's not the type to judge and that's not what he's there for he knows that's not gonna help me, getting to the root of my mental illness is and how we can treat it
I'm starting to not want to kill myself after every work shift. Just accepting that I'm not gonna make shit from tips but it's better than nothing. But there's nothing more defeating than not getting tipped at all on your first two deliveries of the night, and then not getting tipped again later on. And most tips being like 2 or less. And I don't get as many deliveries per shift that I thought I was gonna get. I made so much more delivering at jimmy johns. But I'm starting to not hate the in store work I do at the hut, I'm getting to know my co workers and they're all so nice and friendly. Idk I can probably grind this out til I find something better. First two shifts I left wanting out and wanting to die. After working today even tho it was my worst day of tips I felt fine because it was just me and the manager all day because Sunday days are super slow and we just kicked it and talked basically for over half my shift until I got a few orders. Basically I don't think this is gonna be the detriment to my mental health that I thought it would be since I'm becoming more comfortable and learning my role and getting along with people I work with.
Congrats!! Montreal is such a cool city. I hear their winters are terrible though so make sure you have a good warm coat lol
I was gonna ask what the newish song is is she has with the heavy black eye makeup but that doesn't really narrow it down. But I like that song Edit: oh it was give you what you like which I didn't know they put on the 50 shades soundtrack!
My once in a while reminder that you are all loved. You are all valuable. I want you all to be happy. You deserve all the good in the world.
Switching my major to music/audio production four years ago may have been one of the worst decisions I have ever made in my life. It was great when I still went to community college from 2013-2015, but since the fall of 2015 I've absolutely loathed school so fucking much. Wasted one semester at music school and realized I was so behind the curve in the theory/ensemble aspect of it all that I transferred out to my second school of choice which has been so underwhelming and the Philly commute takes so much out of me that I'm just fucking done with life most days. All I want to do is drop the fuck out. I have zero motivation for school anymore, let alone waking up anymore