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Making Friends in College

Discussion in 'General Forum' started by Ben Peters, Aug 31, 2017.

  1. Ben Peters

    Newbie

    I should preface this post by saying that I have have the same core group of friends my entire life dating all the way back to elementary school. The same core group of maybe 9 or 10 guys have been ride or die with each other. I have never had to really make friends in my life, they have just always been there.

    Ive just now began my Freshman year in college and am find difficulty in forming meaningful relationships with others. I sit with a group of people in the dining halls or in class and have an ok conversation of small talk but nothing ever escalates past that. Im starting work at the rec. center pool as a lifeguard and am planning on joining the political media outlet and am hoping that i can meet people though that. But don't know where to go if that fails as well.

    Its been really jarring to go from being around your closest friends that you grew up with for several hours a day in the summer to being totally alone in a massive crowd of strangers and having no meaningful conversation. I should also note that i have only been here for 5 days, but they have been quite lonely. I feel like i am doing all of the right things to meet people but am not seeing any results.

    any advice? Thanks.
     
  2. Garrett

    just looking for a little hope Moderator

    Keep putting yourself out there and finding activities you're passionate about. You'll find other like minded people there. The first couple weeks of college are weird, then it gets real weird and fun fast. You got this.
     
    Serh, FTank and Ken like this.
  3. ncarrab

    Trusted

    I'm fucking old as shit but you'll be fine. I'm guessing you've only been there for a few weeks? Keep in mind, the way you're feeling, probably everyone around you is feeling the same way. No one just jumps into college their first year and has it all figured out within the first few weeks.

    Do you know anyone from high school that is going to your college? May want to try and link up with them, even if you weren't close to them in high school. At least you'll have that hometown bond with them until you make some new friends. Two of my best friends for the past 14 years went to my high school but we weren't friends until we started hanging out in college. Like, literally didn't even talk to one of them throughout my entire high school career.

    I was very homesick my first few weeks of college, and I was surrounded by friends from high school (I went to BG, so a third of my high school ended up going there).

    You'll be fine. Just need to give yourself some time and as Garrett said, keep putting yourself out there.
     
  4. suicidesaints

    Trusted Prestigious

    buy lots of weed and smoke everyone out. you'll make lots of friends quick
     
    EmmanuelSCastle, dadbolt and emeryk3 like this.
  5. Dog with a Blog

    Prestigious Prestigious

  6. Ben Peters

    Newbie

    I have a friend at BG now who seems to be having the same problem I currently am.
     
  7. ncarrab

    Trusted

    Trust me, it's a VERY common feeling.
     
  8. Yasqueen4

    Trusted

    How do you make friends AFTER college is my question
     
    inspectorkemp and Kingjohn_654 like this.
  9. EmmanuelSCastle

    Trusted

    I'm a junior rn and still haven't really figured this out. I've made a handful of friends at school but I've made more through work this summer than I did the first two years of school. It does happen, but it seems like it's mostly coincidence that kind of goes up the more open you are to indulging the awkward small talk
     
  10. MysteryKnight

    Trusted

    I'm a freshman in college and just started a few weeks ago. The first few days I felt the same way you did. Most of the time I was eating in the dining hall by myself and only every now and then had a conversation with someone but it never went anywhere. Eventually though I started to hang out with the people who live on my floor and now I'm friends with them. If the place you live (assuming you live in a dorm on campus) has a lounge or an area with couches and a tv or something, consider hanging out there and talking to people. A lot of times the people in my building are playing card games or something and people always just come over and join in. You could try that if that situation arises, it's a great way to meet people.
     
  11. Kiana

    Goddamn, man child Prestigious

    I didn't start making friends until my last quarter my senior year. I went to community college first and transferred so I had less time too. Tbh all my friends I made thru my rm or the dread group project. Once I started taking classes for my major and minor it'd be the same familiar cohort of classmates in all the courses so that helped too.
     
  12. Ben Peters

    Newbie

    I met a group of guys on my floor who seem to be OK. I'm also planning on rushing a fraternity--so hopefully things are looking up for me.
     
  13. sleepy

    pale earnhardt jr.

    No one figures out College right away, that's why so many either close up at first OR completely pimp themselves out to be involved in as much as possible to make some new bonds/find comfort in a new place. I personally never had any luck both in grade school or college. Perhaps more in grade school, but most were of necessity for that school year/class period, etc. My two best friends literally come from the beginning and end of my grade school education lol - Kindergarten & Senior year respectively.

    Best advice I have is really just try and get involved in some stuff that is genuinely in your interests (which you seem to be doing), keep in touch with everyone you've known keep them a presence but also be out going a bit. That was what was hardest for me since I have social anxieties and depression. However, every time I did go out I found at least a few people I could hold conversations with nicely and that's always the first spark to see what could come next. I never worked on campus but my roommates friends use to try and get me to work in the rec center or cafeteria saying how it'd help me meet people, I worked at another school campus (by then I was back home however and back around my regular friends too) and that really does help you meet folks, everything else is the follow through to build the relationships.

    Just can't let the load stress/choke your ambition to do everything from the social life to the education itself. That's where I went wrong - that debt ain't worth it both financially and mentally lol.
     
  14. jeffreyowens

    Newbie

    I made a lot of friends in college because i could write different essay types at BC English provincial exam essay and that's it. If you think about it, then it's sad... But i still had friends tho.
     
  15. Rob Hughes

    I wish you'd love me for life

    Man these bots are getting so self-aware these days
     
  16. Dog with a Blog

    Prestigious Prestigious

    Takes one to know one
     
  17. JudithJohnson

    Newbie

    Finding friends in college is difficult. But I will provide a small guide that will help every person find friends in college. I do not take responsibility for people who have social phobia because their problem is that they cannot find friends not only in college, but everywhere. Let's get down to our guide!
    1) in order to make friends, first of all, you need to behave adequately. If you act silly, then people will be afraid of you, and also will not want to be friends with you. Try to analyze the behavior of people in your college. It is possible that all of them are too calm and when you are just active and energetic it will scare them. Or it is also possible if they are all too funny and active and when you are without a nationless they will think that your cat is dead and that you are always so strange!
    2) ask for help even if you do not need help, offer help even if you do not want to do this and do not be afraid to get a refusal. When you ask for help then you already begin to communicate with the person. So you can start a dialogue that ends on a completely different topic. If a person needs help in writing papers but you cannot offer this help from yourself then you can buy paper on the service Paperial.com from which studnets buy college papers always and thus start a dialogue with the person. He or she will thank you and it will be a success.
    3) invite people to some places. Do not be afraid to get a refusal. But don't be messy. Because someone can think that you are a maniac
    I hope that this simple and small guide will help someone
    Thank you all for listening to me!
     
    Dog with a Blog likes this.
  18. the rural juror

    carried in the arms of cheerleaders

    This is the real question
     
  19. ncarrab

    Trusted

    Since college, I have made some friends through: work, playing in rec leagues, going out and through my wife's friends.

    Some of them I see two to three times a week. Not like 'best friend' type of friends, but friends I can converse with, have fun with and go out with.