I was born again in a foreign place with my pupils wide and my friends on stage It was a warmth I had not had the pleasure to face And when the music fades the kids could* care less It's a mockery of the time we spent So I crept into a hole where I could rest You can paint me a junkie, it's quite alright I've got all the drugs in the world I was bound and gagged and held to the flames And you expect me to try to entertain this curtain of humans who always knew my name So I wrote new songs and we danced for nights And we smoked it all 'til the bag was dry I part the doors and creep back into the light You can have me anyway you want me, my body is yours I've got all the love in the world *does this bother anyone else lol, it's like a fourth wall moment in a perfect song
Now all that's left of me Is what I pretend to be So together, but so broken up inside 'Cause I can't breathe No, I can't sleep I'm barely hangin' on Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces Can't deny it, can't pretend
We're held together by diametric forces You and I we're just walking corpses I'm tired of living So let's be dead together I've been through hell without you I don't believe in heaven We don't understand Because it's understated We try so hard but it's complicated We try so hard Just to communicate it
in the light of the day, stabilize and reset and then burn in the image till i can't forget and end ceaselessly speaking till nothing's unsaid i don't know what i want what i want's where i've been in the night will you rest your head into my hands? will you disrupt this pattern from starting again? if i ask you for nothing will nothing there stand? i don't know what i want what i want's where i've been
So what, you read a book I took it from you as you took a second look You quote a line, you quote three I'd give more substance to an argument if it were me Don't worry, you always say But it's the worrying that gets me through a day
I don't wanna fucking be here anymore. I'm leaving forever, if you miss me whatever I don't care. I'm tired of your face and the way that you hate everything. You make me want to start smoking cigarettes so I die slowly. Anything that's bad for me, you're killing me. You're killing me!
I saw you with a very loose grip on your tight ship And I lost you when you said one hit couldn’t hurt a bit Took a little time for your trip but I saw you starting to slip Cause you always kept your eyes on any little hiding spot that you had forgot And I can’t shake the terror of my life fleeting, minute by minute Even when I can’t imagine another day waking up in it Fought my mind to keep my life, but my body’s putting up a tougher fight Yeah if it feels wrong, you can go on along But once it feels right then you just lost the fight
And if you fight with fire If you wrestle to sleep May the wrestling end Now you find what you need And you fill it with lead And it fills you with ink Always less than you want Always more than you think You know, you know it's not the easiest thing To decide to keep the easy things close Cause it's hard enough without An open mind to weigh you down
I was standing in the rain Hoping you would notice me I don't miss those days What a fucking bore That's so millennial
Slow things down baby check your motives Sleep at night and stand up straight Keep in mind there's a big, big difference Between letting go and running away
Honey, I'm feeling like a wave about to break I've been on my way back home for so long I just need a place to go and rest my head maybe for a while If that's alright
I've seen you dive and come up with nothing I've seen you melt and dissolve into sobs Inconsolable under the blue light
I often wonder why I carry all this guilt when it's you that helped me put up all these walls I've built
Never pick up though you owe me You’ve become the epitome of who I don't wanna be Thought you’d be around forever Change of a season you come and go like the weather Just like them you’re no better
It was the hardest ground that I had ever walked on And just like everybody I kept on walking on There was a man in the park and he was lying down he could have been dead he could have been dead but just like everybody I kept on walking on pretend not to notice the body lying on the lawn he could've gotten up when I had gone and just like everybody, he could have kept walking on walking on he could have kept on walking on and I thought to myself "hey, there was probably something I should've done"
Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright...
I killed 100 million cells of embryonal carcinoma with a love that caused my middle-aged heart to burst, then I completed every blank left on my tax return and ran the mile or so to the gun shop with my card and my moldy recorder. I held my ground. I tried so hard. But they still said: "Look, I just spent over seven hours in an office in Corona where the clerk showed me no human compassion, but they spend 40 hours dealing with that every week. Would you let it slide if they held their hands up high in a kind surrender, if they embraced the human tide, if they bled?" And they're right. They're the honor, and they deserve to sleep, to be warm, to be well. BUT I CAN'T PAY.
Well now that you’ve got your gun It’s much harder now the police have come And I'll shoot him if it's what you ask But if you just take off your mask You'd find out everything’s gone wrong Now everybody’s dead And they’re driving past my old school And he’s got his gun, he’s got his suit on She says, 'Babe, you look so cool'
I try to speak but the tears choke the words and I think I finally know what they mean when they talk about joy
I think I’ve finally identified the difference I think I live in both my hell and my home I will forever be a slave to your distance Don’t let me in Don’t let me go Carry me back to your bed My conscience is my coffin and I swear sometimes I’d rather be dead Make sure that I still feel, I don’t care how much it hurts I’ll always be numb on my side of the earth Don’t let me in, don’t let me go