so would you like that drink? fine, yea i know. i remember that too in your living room, right? when we began to fight but then we both got confused then we were laughing & crying in awe of the size of the moon do you want to die? fine you’re right but i wonder what it feels like to stop feelin so alive what if we could wake up in five years & things’d be feelin alright? i wanna visit the future & dance in a field of light!
Now that the treatment and antidepressants and seven months sober have built me a bed in the back of your brain where the memories flicker and I paw at the synapses' bright bits of string. You should know I am with you, know I forgive you, know I am proud of the steps that you've made. Though it will never be easy or simple, know I will dig my claws in when you stray. So let us rest here like we used to in a line of late afternoon sun, let it rest all you can't change, let it rest and be done
What i tried to say this isn't real And i feel ashamed that i don't think that i can heal It's a shame that i would pretend Before making amends It's a shame that i can't But nothing you've ever planned on Ever turned out But nothing you've ever planned on Ever turned out the way you planned You're still disappointing them You're still disappointing You're still disappointing them
I wrapped your love around me like a chain But I never was afraid that it would die You can dance in a hurricane But only if you're standing in the eye
Whatever I did for you last year I cannot do again It's getting harder and harder and harder and harder for me to call you a friend No matter how many times I say I won't, I defend you if I can But whatever I did for you last year I cannot do again
Well don't call me by my full name And all this is temporary It feels much better to know that you won't feel a thing Well don't talk about it Write it down but don't ask for help I can't be honest with even myself Did you ever wish you were somebody else?
"And never the two shall meet" Said the tiger to its greatest fan "The amount of love you wish to give is more than I can stand"
Feeling erodes Moving like wash against the limestone Leaving you cold When I'm leaving you all alone Hugging the walls Finding the switch to turn the light on To find you in a ball Wrapped in the bedding
Not religious but I've always loved these lyrics. Can really see what he finds in religion/his faith. Also it's just a beautiful song. So for everything you left, and all of the glory you forfeit, no matter how low you were sent, you still couldn't know what it's like to be alone. Jesus I've been trying so hard to look like you I almost missed the worst of what I put you through. You didn't die for sins, you died covered in them. A prideful lying thief gasping out my final breaths. For that one moment you looked just like me, Your father left you and you died completely alone. For me, you were alone. You conquered death all alone. Cause you've known the deepest of all our needs. Never again. Never alone.
Look around, that's not me Not one shred of who I'll be You don't know what I do The one way getting out is through
Goodness, present and hallowed, is thanking walls of the shallow Embankments for flowing in over the ranks of Soldiering messes of dayglow blades scorched by hovering halos Washing away until I don't even cringe At the thought of you
There's no feeling in this place The echoes of the past speak louder Than any voice I hear right now Don't you ever try to be More than you were destined for Or anything worth fighting for There's no feeling in this place
If i did what i wanted then why do i feel so bad? I don't know what i’m afraid of... but i’m afraid one day it all will fall away
I can't get to sleep I think about the implications Of diving in too deep And possibly the complications Especially at night I worry over situations I know will be all right Perhaps it's just imagination Day after day it reappears Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear Ghosts appear and fade away
I read your last entry Overprivileged kids keep crying The need to fit in gets harder when living life from a screen Old classmates, please drop all your pens Don't write a word 'cause I won't reply and I'm not bitter, no, it's Just I've passed that point in my life
My steps keep splitting my grief through these solipsistic moods, I should call my parents when i think of them. I should tell my friends when i love them. Maybe i should've got out a bit more, when you guys were still in town. But i got too caught up in my own shit, every outcome's such a comedown. I knew it when i saw it, I did just what i wanted. So i go through with this... I knew happiness when i saw it, And I saw it.
I walked along, beside the purple mountains Beneath the orange sky Imagined what it all might look like with these planks out of my eyes I wondered if the big white horse was coming down tonight I wanted to taste that victory but my mouth was dry
I can remember planting a rose The seeds dried up when the river was low God will come and the roots grown under Will pull up slow This, I know She says we'll learn to plunder, and learn to lean But we all learn to plunder, then learn to leave