Look WhA1 You Made Me Do [Archived] • Page 196

People have called me “Yams” since I was like 4. Maybe if I change my handle it’ll be to that

 

Hey men. Will you do your civic duty and tell other men not to be creepy thanks

 

Wtf

 

My parents named my brother Kenneth despite our last name being Rogers and I still have no idea how or why they weren't just like "hey, let's go with a different first name."

 

you should be forthcoming with them

im sorry joe

 

My last name is the woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorst.

 

badbolt

 

you're catching on fast

 

May the 4th be with you

 

i just got a lot of "justin time" jokes with my name as a kid

i hated it

 

my last name is reynolds

so reynolds wrap jokes were all the rage, as the concept of low-hanging fruit is lost on asshole kids

 

I just got a lot of, “why are you such a disappointment? We never should have had you.”

 

my last name rhymes with 'gays'

so yeah

 

Bullies just called me the F word they weren't that clever

 

miscrIANt

 

dang

 

Erin "Givesmea" Woody
Lots of dick jokes

 

One of my teachers in middle school was nicknamed "woody"." I now understand how creepy this is.

 

For one serving, you'll need: 2 eggs, 1/2 jalapeno, 1/4 medium yellow onion, a splash of some mild vinegar (apple cider, champagne, white wine, rice wine), canola oil (other oils work fine but I prefer canola for its high smoke point), 1 medium sweet potato, ancho chile powder, salt, pepper, chives & parsley (optional--fresh is best, partially dried is really good, and dried is fine)
Mise en place:
1. Cut your jalapeno in half and then remove all the seeds and membrane. Dice/brunoise into very small pieces (not quite mince), reserve. Figure half a jalapeno per person.. more if you're into that.
2. Small dice your onion. I figure about a 1/4-1/2 of a medium sized yellow onion per serving is appropriate. Save the rest of the onion for something else. Reserve what you need. Again, depends on how much you like
3. Skin and then medium dice your sweet potato. These should be the biggest pieces, but still, fairly small. Reserve.
4. Crack your two eggs into two separate ramekins, make sure the yolks are intact and there's no shell.

Cook:
(I recommend making bacon or sausage to have on the side with this dish, but I'm not including instructions on that, although I like my bacon cooked in the oven at 375 with black pepper and herbes de provence.)
1. Fill a small or medium sized pot/sauce pan with water until there's at least 2-4 inches of water in it (there should be enough water that when you drop the egg, it is completely submerged), salt the water as if you're making pasta. Heat on high until the water starts to simmer or boil.
2. At the same time, heat a heavy bottomed skillet (ideally cast iron) over medium high heat, add a drizzle of oil. When the oil begins to shimmer, toss your potatoes in. Let them sit in a flat layer in the pan. Do not salt. Do not pepper. Do not move them. They should sizzle heartily, give them a couple minutes before you stir them. The potatoes will take 15 or so minutes to cook. If there's not enough oil in the pan, add some.
3. After stirring the potatoes briefly for the first time, you should notice that they're still very firm, but that the side that was faced down on the skillet is starting to brown/blister. This is what you want. Keep the heat turned up. You do not want your potatoes to steam. Stir every few minutes, but movement is not your friend... consistent contact with the pan is. As the potatoes are getting close to done, it's time to cook your eggs.
4. Your water should either be simmering or boiling at this point. Turn the temperature down until the water is not quite boiling, so you can see bubbles quickly moving from the bottom to the top, but there is no rolling of the water.
5. Add your vinegar to the water, some people say a splash is all you'll need, but I find that more works better.. a tbsp or two will do great. Setup a couple paper towels stacked on top of each other or a clean dish towel near your simmering water.
6. Drop your eggs, very slowly, one at a time, into this simmering water. I will partially submerge the ramekin into the water and then turn it sideways so the egg gently falls out. If the water stops to simmer from the cold eggs, increase the temperature slightly. Be sure the water stays at roughly this temperature the whole time your eggs are in the water.
7. While your eggs are cooking and the potatoes are getting close to done (they should be nice and crispy on the outside), add your jalapeno and your onion to the skillet. Stir briefly so all the ingredients are evenly distributed. Onion naturally has a lot of moisture in it, so you might want to turn the heat up even more. Don't salt or stir too much at this point or all the work you've done to get your sweet potatoes crispy will be for nothing.
8. Once the onions start to brown a little, it's time to add some salt and pepper, and I like ancho chile powder here. Add a good pinch of that. Taste and see how you feel about the seasoning. Ancho chile powder really does bring it to the next level. It has a warmth and complexity to it that makes it vital to the dish.
9. The eggs will be cooked when they start to float and all of the transparent part of the egg has turned white. Take a slotted spoon and gently lift an egg out of the water and give it a press with you finger. Press where the yolk is and see how firm it is. It takes practice to get this right, but it's the best way to tell when your eggs are fully cooked so the white is solid and yolks still runny. When they are done, transfer all of them to the paper towels/dish towel so they can drain their excess water.
10. While the eggs are drying, hit them with a good amount of salt and pepper. Plate by spooning the sweet potato hash into a wide bowl or plate. I like a flat, wider bowl because it helps keep everything neatly contained. Add your eggs on top of the hash. Garnish with some parsley and/or chives. Break the yolk into the hash and enjoy! Once you get the hash down, the next level would be to make eggs benedict with the English muffin, Canadian bacon, and hollandaise... then make the hash on the side. It turns out looking like this:

 

There was a girl in my buddy’s class whose last name was Boner lol

 

Clutch. Looks amazing man. Thank you

 

I love you

 

My friend's brother was named Adam Sandler

The meanest was someone was named Taylor Park which obviously became Trailer Park

 

Please try it and let me know how bad I am at writing recipes haha

 

I'm not even mad that's a SAT word