LGBTQIA+ Thread • Page 6

Hah, yeah, I was referring to polyamory, not polysexuality. Though it's a little more complex than just "open relationship or orgies", lol. It can be a matter of Person A having one main romantic and sexual partner, Person B, as well as other people who they have purely sexual OR romantic, or even both, relationships with, Persons C and D and so on, where those individuals understand that Person B is Person A's main focus but they still have connections with A. Hope that makes sense, and that's truly only one example.

 

Monogamy is very not good imo

 

I have my problems with monogamy but I also have problems with a previous relationship which p much destroyed my trust in people

 

Couldn't agree more. Especially not the sort with constant suspicion, emotional manipulation and hardcore heteronormative gender role enforcement that you see all too often these days (just look at 50% of Vine humor, for example). Not to sound soapbox-y, but yeah.

 

Hi again everyone ! :)

 

Hi everyone. If anyone ever needs to talk I am always here. I have been through the ups and downs including being hospitalized from depression when I came out 7 years ago.

 

I'm way too insecure and/or egotistical to ever try anything but monogamy.

 

I'm so very rarely attracted to someone even slightly, and I hate being intimate with strangers, so monogamy works for me.

 

I mean, it's gonna work for some and it's not gonna work for others. It takes a certain type of security and people firmly being on the same page to make poly relationships work and not everyone is cut out for it. Myself included.

 

I think that a lot of people might strive for monogamy even though they don't really want/need it deep down because of ~society~
So yeah, monogamy for some, non-monogamy for others basically. What we need is less of an emphasis on monogamy as the only healthy type of relationship.

 

That's (one reason) why I feel that it's better, though. Monogamy, at least as it exists today, operates under such a large degree of unspoken mindsets and rules that there almost intrinsically becomes a incredibly large false sense of security.

Also just to clarify, I'm talking under the belief that being in a polyamorous relationship does not necessitate having more than one partner - that you can be in a poly relationship with a person even if you aren't actually currently seeing someone else in any capacity, you know? I think that the mere fact of being more open about it with whoever you're with allows there to be a much greater amount of communication and building of trust than a monogamous relationship could ever allow. You say that it requires a level of security and being on the same page that many people aren't up for, but doesn't that also define our perception of monogamy, despite actual experience going almost directly against it? In a monogamous relationship, you *need* to have an almost blind trust that your partner is not cheating on you, while both you and your partner have to resist the pretty natural urge to find more than one person worthy of being with. I also think that it helps to stop you from defining yourself by your relationship to others; you're not one half of an entity, but rather your own entity that's willingly contributing to something larger.

Sorry, going off on a tangent just to lay most of the cards out on the table, haha. Basically I see polyamory as inherently much less restrictive than monogamy, not just in the obvious - the number of people you can see - but in how you actually go about approaching your relationship(s) as a whole, if that makes sense.

 

I think it'd be infinitely easier for people if the reverse was the norm. If you start off with the premise of >1 being a possibility, it'd be much easier to work your way down and decide that you're fine with only one partner, especially if you simply don't have (or don't want to put in) the time + effort of dealing w/ multiple partners. But when you start with the premise of 1 being the absolute max, it's much more difficult to feel comfortable going beyond that. Since each person is only allowed to be with one other person, you pretty naturally have a strong fear of losing yours if you let them go off and be with others (not to say that that couldn't happen in a poly relationship, but that it would simply better prepare to be okay with that, if that makes sense).

 

Yep, I agree.

 

I feel obligated to like your post just for the sake of mutual confirmation, but at the same time it feels strange to be like "I like that you agree with me," hah

 

Ha I keep finding that as well with the likes. Or if someone posts something sad I want to give them a supportive "like", but then I worry that it seems like I "like" that the sad thing happened? The internet is a complicated place.

 

What did me liking your comment mean? Who knows...

 

Yeah and I feel uncomfortable when aggressive (whether passive or direct) comments are made, and then people like those, I feel that the like system is being 'abused'. I can imagine someone feeling intimidated when a post they're made uncomfortable by, probably makes them feel even worse when it has multiple likes. It's a complicated situation.

 

The old Facebook like conundrum

 

We never should have left AP. This new system is too much for us.

 

who are u foolin keyes

 

Can you clarify?

 

no

 

then gtfo

 

Hey! You're green!

 

we got greedy. we're drunk with power