Discussion in 'General Forum' started by Nick, Mar 7, 2016.
what does this mean?
Trans YouTuber named Natalie Wynn aka ContraPoints. Left Twitter a while back after getting backlash (and then doubling down) on some misinformed/thoughtless takes
Implying we ate one of our own, I guess? But like here's the thing:
You can say you're not xyz, and point to this good thing you did in the past, but that doesn't equal absolution, nor even the expectation of absolution. That goes for all allies and all isms.
You’re still wrong about natalie
I watched that whole video and wrote my thoughts on that Facebook post. Again, she can point to xyz that she's done and she can apologize all she wants, but there's no expectation of absolution or forgiveness etc. And certainly none of us binary trans people can provide it.
Like in that video she says she doesn't think James Charles is racist based on his tweet but it's not her lane or her place to be doing that. Same idea for all allies and all isms
I keep coming back to Mona Eltahawy. She was transphobic in the past and when she was called out on it recently, she owned it. Then agreed when folks told her that it wasn't just that she didn't have the right language to discuss the issues. Didn't double down, didn't get defensive. Then went back to her regularly scheduled program of front line activism. Will people still think she's a transphobe? Maybe. But only the people she harmed can provide the absolution, and yeah some might not ever...but that's why allies dont get participation trophies
coming out fb post
When I presented as a cis lesbian and said I was in a 5-year relationship I was never asked about when we are getting married. Now being presumed cishet, from 6 years closing in on 9, people ask that question every single time. Like they cannot wrap their heads around us not being hitched by now. It's fucking weird.
Gina's sister and her bf got engaged today and they've have been together the same amount of time as us, so I think that's what is causing whatever this feeling is. Kinda like well look right here, there's another couple who isn't in a rush to get married...oop nevermind
Plus being a new uncle, like whoa my little brother has a kid now. We know we are going to need outside assistance to start a human baby family but when it's right there in your face, ehhhh
I read a tweet the other day that said "transition is not a do over" but for me it really is. I feel like I hit the reset button on my life A LOT lately. Or at least on a lot of parts of my life. I see the correct face in the mirror. My body continues to grow and change thanks to testosterone. I will never set foot in a marketing office again unless it's to wire the actual office, because I am heavily looking into becoming an electrician. I was a millennial forcefully sold on the premise of a college degree, something my parents didn't have but wanted for me (more than I did at the time).
All this bubbling up over a family group text of the strangest engagement ring photo. Bf was holding up the ring to the camera, instead of the ring being on her finger, heh
This made my heart melt. I'm so happy for you!!
Amazing I'm so thrilled for you!!
Huge love and congrats
Got back from my appointment with a doc that was recommended by my local trans group. It went so well to my surprise. He was immediately so understanding and willing to do anything to reassure me that I feel emotional just thinking about it again. I'll know in the next two weeks if the future medical care coverage related to my transition will be accepted by social security.
Next step: Seeing a therapist Friday afternoon, hoping he'll make the certificate that can make me accepted at endocrinologists' offices, among others, and then start hormonotherapy.
I also met another person who's struggling with gender dysphoria and feeling lost over it this weekend, and I could feel it was a relief for them. I'd be happy to meet them again and help them out!
my dumb gay ass is falling the fuck in love. yay.
Surgical repair went well on Tuesday and I'm already ready to go back to work. Hate sitting around. I did that for 7 months! This might be a long 4 weeks lol
Well, that went poorly. For context, this is a therapist I used to see a few years back. He asked too many stereotypical questions, insinuated that I didn't have the typical mindset of other trans patients once I mentioned falling in love with a woman as a teenager first. He had surprisingly narrow views about it, and blamed me many times for not bringing up the subject in those 2015/2016 sessions...
I'm not losing hope or anything. I feel like shit, like there was something wrong in my speech, my behavior or even my look, and I just needed to vent.
I'm sorry that happened to you. Your feelings and experiences are valid and how you express them shouldn't be picked apart like that. I hope you find somebody more understanding if you feel like they're not working for you.
that’s shitty. sounds like this person might not be the best fit for you
Thanks! I wish I didn't have to wait Monday morning to make an appointment for another one because it's going to stay in my mind the entire weekend.
Went out in public by myself as a woman for the first time today. About to see Birds of Prey. I asked friends to come with but they were all busy. I was a little apprehensive at first but I'm glad I did this. I'm... proud of myself. That's new.
tl;dr she didn't realize until two years after transitioning. Can't relate to her experience, personally. I'd considered myself cishet(ace), so as soon as I realized I was trans, I realized that that made me a lesbian.
I do relate to the more general topic of shame towards what's not as acceptable in society, trying to convince yourself you fit in just a little bit more than the next guy. I think that explains why it took me so long to realize I was trans. If I was ace but still cishet then I wasn't that much different from everyone else. I was ashamed of being too different.
Thank god for Natalie Wynn
Just saw a new therapist. This time, it went very well, the total opposite of my last experience. He was supportive and kind. He told me he's willing to make the previously mentioned certificate by the third session, which will probably be scheduled for next month as the second one is next week. I'm so excited!
In the meantime, I think I'll look into buying some make up, and search an institute for body hair removal. It almost feels like I'm studying with the things I have to research and learn now.
Uh oh I'm in a Twitter fight with Buck Angel
Dude is out there being like I TRANSITIONED A LONG TIME AGO AND IT WAS REALLY HARD AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT, YOUNG TRANS PEOPLE when folks are like "hey actually my transition is not 100%terrible so let's not further that narrative"
He's also out there tweeting sad emojis regarding the idea that nowadays you don't need dysphoria to be trans, responding to Princess Transphobe Arielle Scarcella like it's such a damn shame
We get it
You're a transmed
Like this happened within the last 24 hours. Related, hope ContraPoints is not still defending her choice there bc ooof he still believes hella problematic shit and mingles with hella problematic people
I'm thinking about the trans kids of the future, Buck, kids who deserve self ID and none of that "true trans" bullshit you and other prominent trans men try to peddle
Oh I'm steamed rn
Edit: here have a fucking cookie buddy you went first now can we talk about how gender euphoria is a thing?