LGBTQIA+ Thread • Page 26

Struggling to get out of bed and get ready for this date. I just feel so fucking ugly and gross and like why bother lol

 

What's a date

 

Big raisins that make you poop according to rugrats

 

Ah my guess was right

 

I just had a thought about why it took so long for me to recognize I had problems with my gender identity. Looking back, there were so many signs; of course everything is clearer in retrospect. Maybe a part of it is internalized transphobia. I mean, I have friends I knew pre-transition, and I accept them and all, but I would always deny any signs of trans-ness I saw in myself--I was already so used to seeing myself a man that staying the same felt safe. Also, maybe back then I had no conception of trans-ness growing up. I guess that's part of why representation and visibility matter so much. If I come out as trans, I want to be open about it, I want to be LOUD about it, so that others on this journey can have someone they can see themselves in. I always admired anyone who was unapologetically themselves, but I've been so shy all my life. I'd always thought that was because of my self esteem, but that's gotten a lot better now and I'm still shy. Maybe it's been dysphoria all along.

Oh, and if I'm transition, I'd also be a lesbian. I was always supportive of representation in general, but stuff like Bubbline and Korrasami hit different and I never really knew why.

 

Hell yeah, join the trans lesbian army

 

Are we still doing introductions and stuff? I'm Silas and I'm a binary trans man. I figured it all out just before I turned 33, and have not looked back. I'm 36 now. If all goes according to plan, I have one last surgery in May 2020 and then I'm done with the transition part of this whole being trans thing. My post history in this thread should pretty well detail most of the shenanigans I've dealt with in that time.

I've been struggling pretty hard lately with thoughts of what high school amd college would have been like if I could have transitioned and been seen as the real me. Honestly it's a mind fuck.

I told my immediate family and my gf's siblings/their partners in private. Then I came out to "everyone" on FB on Election Day 2016. Because it was supposed to be a somewhat joyous occasion lol. Work was a different, frustrating story but I'm happy to talk about any and all of this stuff

I'm just gonna say this: you can't base your feelings *at all* on how your mom feels. With HRT or surgery or whatever. It's not her flesh suit. Plus (sadly) it takes HRT a while to work its magic, so you could easily start it without her noticing.

 

Update. Came out to my best friend and his fiance over the weekend, they were super supportive. Therapist appointment went well. Obviously not gonna start me on hormones right away, but she did... what's the word, assuage? some of my self-doubt. Relationship with Mom still shaky with ups and downs, but I think we're generally getting to a better place.

I'll be telling my other three best friends this coming weekend. I'm still not sure how I'll be telling my brother and father, but I'm pretty certain I'll be coming out publicly on January 1st. Being in the closet is the worrrrst.

 

glad your friends are good ones @xkhiemster ! a good support system is key

 

I didn’t know this thread was here hello

 

Welcome, welcome.

 

Came out to my father and brother and two of my best friends. Dad handled it about as well as Mom did, understandably, but you know what, I feel loved, and that's what counts.

 

So uh, due to unforeseen circumstances, and especially a huge strike, I'm stuck all alone at a friend's place in Germany tonight instead of being with my family for Christmas... which might be safer for my sanity, so what better time to introduce myself?

I'm Alex, identify as queer or pan or bi (fine with all of them), am taking the early steps of a MtF transition, go by the pronoun they, and here's an extremely natural pose



Happy holidays x

 

I like your extremely natural pose. You can’t even tell you’re posing!

 

Friends, I went back to work today. I am stealth at work, like I don't think anyone has even the slightest clue I'm trans.

First guy I say hi to says "hi hey so how was the sex change operation?"

Looked at him, struck a (totally natural) pose, and replied "fabulous"

I've been cackling all day bc the cis guy thinks he made a joke lololol BUT ACTUALLY BUDDY GUESS WHAT

 

mom wants me to come out after lunar new years to avoid hearing people talk shit but the original plan was new years and that's tomorrow what do i dooooo

yeah it's only three weeks later but i can't help but feel a loss of autonomy

but liek Tet is a huge deal for everyone else sooo

stay closeted for just one more month to appease the fam?

 

Just celebrated one month with my gf on the 24th, honestly being out is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I've never been so proud to walk in public holding somebody's hand and I never wanna lose this feeling. 2020 gonna be a lit new lez me y'all!

 

v happy 4 u .
feels g o o d 2b G A Y

 

2020 is going to be the year that I meet an ok looking Weeb that wants to be my boyfriend

 

I really feel torn, guys. The Asian part of me is all Mulan and shit like, I mustn't bring dishonor to my family, and my American side is like, I'm a strong independent (wo)man I do whatever the fuck I want.

66% chance I'm not coming out tomorrow like I'd planned. I guess that's okay in the grand scheme of things. I just wish my parents didn't have so much influence over my life, but oh well, I guess that's what I sacrifice living with them and being unemployed.

 

I've decided to wait until after Tet. I guess I'm fine. Parents are relieved

 

@nohandstoholdonto my apologies for stankin up your FB post

REBUT ME PLS

In all seriousness. I think there's definitely a conversation to be had about a) Natalie's original thread where she expressed her discomfort toward declaring pronouns when shes the only trans person in the room b)the urge to become defensive when called out for xyz c)at what point does one's following/platform size make it impossible not to piss *someone* off/say something in a crappy way/be misinterpreted/have your defenders dogpile critics etc

 

apologies in advance if this is hard to follow or something, I’m high af lmao.


a) she expressed a feeling that I, and many other, trans women sometimes experience in those kinds of situations. this is one of the situations where the divide, I think, is most prevalent. statistically, trans women (especially those of color) are much more likely to have our entire fucking lives taken from us when we’re not perceived to be women by the wrong person. it’s very easy to get wrapped up in the fear of that possibility. I straight up get uncomfortable sometimes when I’m asked my pronouns; that’s not to say that I think it’s an inherently bad thing to do by any means but, for me, I feel more at ease when I don’t wonder if I’m being clocked. I’ve had periods of extreme reclusiveness bc I was just so dysphoric and the world felt so terrifying (especially in the south post-trump). idk that’s probably not an exclusively trans woman experience, I just feel like it’s sometimes amplified for us. That’s not even mentioning the fact that she literally walks it back by the end. “and that’s super fucking hard for us” is self-parody, that’s a phrase she commonly says with an eye roll and a wink and a nod. she realizes, as I also do, that it’s ultimately for the greater good.

b) it’s natural to get defensive if you feel you’re being misrepresented or misunderstood. especially if you are being misrepresented and misunderstood. then imagine a significant portion of your community decides you’re persona non grata and starts calling you a piece of shit, and going so far as to harass your fucking friends for not abandoning you and trying to get them to publicly denounce you.

c) I don’t know how to answer this question, but I feel like Natalie is well past that point.

 

You made sense no worries! (high cough five)

I was not aware that the "super fucking hard" line is one she uses regularly. Puts it in a bit better context. But I can see how that wouldn't matter to a nonbinary person reading her tweets who has no desire to pass for cis/can't pass/has no hope of anyone using the right pronouns. Like I've seen more than one nonbinary person with she/they or he/they in their bios say they'd rather only use they/them but it's just not ...realistic? with people's expectations it's just easier to throw in the binary pronoun too

I think one of the other reasons people jumped on her is bc of her cis following. Not saying she's like A Cool Trans Person like Bl*ir Wh*te just that I think if you're gonna be "teaching" the cis you have to be even more careful of what you say and how you say it when it comes to our community subsets

Ugh i hate that i even typed that last sentence bc it feels really cis-centering but I hope what I'm trying to say makes sense there - when you get the platform, there's the responsibility that comes with it.

One thing we didn't hit upon yet - She rankled lots of old bird feathers with her old school transsexual comments. I'm still a baby when it comes to our history but like...she and I started transitioning at the same time so I was..Idk amused? Not quite the right word. Wry maybe