About to bring Big Gay Lady Flanders energy (also assorted beverages) to my first Friendsgiving with a bunch of other queer & trans pals.
Staying home for Thanksgiving because mom and bro are sick. This is what I'm wearing now. I always thought I'd look better with glasses on, but I have perfect vision. These are computer glasses, but honestly it's more of a fashion statement haha. Obviously repping with Ravenclaw scarf on a rainy day. You can't see it well, but to the left that's Batman and to the right that's Kenshin, two fictional male characters I really look up to. I've been thinking a lot lately over the past few weeks: a lot of my role models have been women. Captain Marvel was a big movie for me, but I just thought it was because I like good representation in general. Same with trans actresses/characters, like Nomi in Sense8 and Nia Nal in Supergirl. Heck, my mom's a housewife and she's like my biggest inspiration; as much as I would like a career someday, I honestly really enjoy domesticity and would love to raise a child, plus I get my empathy and creativity from her. I've been watching interviews of Jaime Clayton and Nicole Maines over the last couple days, and I'm like, I want to be like them. Also came across Patti Harrison; she's Vietnamese, like me!
I would love a wall scroll of Homura or Madoka Magica in general but my parents would be like, Why do you have a picture of young girls on your wall
I really think I wouldn't have ended up as awkward as I am if I'd had all these queer bands that I love now to listen to as a teenager Just a random thought lol
Even artists that haven't explicitly stated that they're queer (and may or may not be). I love Mitski and Thao so much, and there are several other badass Asian(+queer) women in music rn. ughhh why were Asians so invisible fifteen years ago edit: pretty sure Michelle (Japanese Breakfast) and Sasami are bi, and Melina (Jay Som) is gay. I know, there's an LGBT Artists thread somewhere, I just got excited.
I'm still waiting to see my psychiatrist to see if if I can get a gender therapist to get a professional opinion before making anything official, but I'm growing more and more certain with every day that passes. I've got an idea: coming out on January 1st would be a pretty epic way to start the next decade. Before that, though, I'd preferably want to come out privately to my close friends and family throughout December. The thought of doing that... scares the shit out of me. Any y'all wanna share (or link to, if you've already talked about it before) any coming out stories? Did you do so slowly and quietly, or loudly and quickly?
It's like when I was first open about my sexuality people assumed I want to do to a gay club and shit like that. I hated that stuff. I found the place where I feel comfortable with myself at itoldyouiwouldeatyou and Nervus gigs in the last few years
Coming out mostly sucked and the first year or so was pretty fucking difficult for me I’m ngl. It’s gotten a lot better tho and was well worth the struggle.
My sister who teaches 16-18 year olds said that the difference to 10 years ago when we were that age is so weird. Teens these days are so accepting of each other. Back at my school the one openly gay kid got so much shit for it, but the kids she teaches are really open about sexuality and she teaches 3 transkids and no one gives a shit and let's them be themselves
Mom practically forced me to come out to her. I'm having trouble explaining to her that that was wrong. And she keeps telling me she hopes it's just mental illness/confusion. Worst Thanksgiving weekend ever.
That’s fully rough. Hoping before long she’s able to understand there’s nothing wrong with you & accept that.
I'm sorry to hear that. If you wanna talk we're here. FWIW my gf's parents are super conservative Christians and tell her she's going to hell for being a lesbian. They are horrible and being home is miserable but one day she'll be outta there and free to live the life she deserves. You will too. Hopefully your mom sees in time your truth and accepts you for the wonderful person you are.
Mom's mostly concerned about the outcomes of hormones/surgery, either that they'd lead to health complications, or that I'd regret it one day and not be able to switch back. I reassured her that I'm not interested in surgery. As for hormones, we'll have to wait and see--I've met with my psychiatrist and scheduled an appointment with a gender therapist, in late January because they're so booked--but what's important to me is socially transitioning. She's generally okay with that, but she wants me to wait until after I see the therapist--after the holidays, including Lunar New Year--before coming out. I begrudgingly made that compromise, even though I feel like I can't live as a man any longer. It's been a rough few days. Even if it's just to her, I feel like I've been outed, because she forced me to tell her when I wasn't ready. We've been having a lot of one-on-one conversations about it, which feels awkward because dad's downstairs and has no idea, and also I feel like we keep talking in circles. I know she'll accept me eventually, I just have to be patient, but I didn't think it would be this bad. Dang, being in the closet is so much worse than not knowing what the problem is. And I thought life was hard before, when all I had to worry about was depression and anxiety. Just keep adding to my list of things to deal with. I'm thinking of coming out to my close friends within the next couple weeks, before coming out to my brother and father; I feel like my friends will be more supportive, and I need that right now.
On a more positive note, gender euphoria is definitely a thing, and I'm experiencing it more and more the more I experiment with how I express myself. I hate shaving my face, but omgosh shaving my armpits and legs is the nicest thing. I can't just ignore how good these little things feel. Oh, and uh, thank y'all for your support. I mean that sincerely. I'm not used to expressing gratitude, being a man and all hah
One last thing: I didn't know about her until a few days ago, but Patti Harrison is my hero. We both have Vietnamese mothers (Patti's father wasn't Viet, mine is) and we were both born in 1991 and she gives me hope that one day I can be happy living out like she is.
Glad that she was at least relatively open/supportive about it. The conversation with my mother was one of the most emotionally difficult things I’ve ever experienced. She def had the “you’re my child and I’ll love you regardless” attitude but also told me that I wouldn’t be a pretty woman. Good news is she’s great now and I love her to death and I know she regrets saying that shit. It’ll probably always stick with me tho.